Why do people have dedication stickers to dearly departed loved ones on their crappy cars and trucks?
Why, pippa?
Why?
You’ve all seen this, right?
You pull up at a stoplight behind some dilapidated truck and sprawled across the back window is a giant memorial decal that says something like:
In Loving Memory Of
MUFFINS O’GRADY
1948 — 2006
Uhm, yeah. I don’t get it. I really don’t.
Is it the measly sticker that’s “in loving memory of Muffins O’Grady” or is your entire truck now a rattling, smoke-smelling, oil-leaking — but loving, don’t forget loving — memorial to good and dead ol’ Muffins?
Which is it?
“I dedicate this measly sticker to you, dead person”?
Or
“I dedicate this crummy car to you, dead person”?
And do you, the dead person, looking down from heaven — one hopes — feel grateful for said memorial of a measly sticker or a crappy car?
Or would you rather have flowers? Or rather they live a loving life in your memory?
Or do you kind of wish you could come back to life for five seconds to kick your loved one in their stupid ass keister?
That’s ass keister. You heard me.
I’ve told MB that’s he’s not allowed to do this if I crump it first. It is absolutely forbidden. But then I’ve also told him if he crumps it first, I will pull his pants down in protest and THEN call 911.