Why do people have dedication stickers to dearly departed loved ones on their crappy cars and trucks?
Why, pippa?
Why?
You’ve all seen this, right?
You pull up at a stoplight behind some dilapidated truck and sprawled across the back window is a giant memorial decal that says something like:
In Loving Memory Of
MUFFINS O’GRADY
1948 — 2006
Uhm, yeah. I don’t get it. I really don’t.
Is it the measly sticker that’s “in loving memory of Muffins O’Grady” or is your entire truck now a rattling, smoke-smelling, oil-leaking — but loving, don’t forget loving — memorial to good and dead ol’ Muffins?
Which is it?
“I dedicate this measly sticker to you, dead person”?
Or
“I dedicate this crummy car to you, dead person”?
And do you, the dead person, looking down from heaven — one hopes — feel grateful for said memorial of a measly sticker or a crappy car?
Or would you rather have flowers? Or rather they live a loving life in your memory?
Or do you kind of wish you could come back to life for five seconds to kick your loved one in their stupid ass keister?
That’s ass keister. You heard me.
I’ve told MB that’s he’s not allowed to do this if I crump it first. It is absolutely forbidden. But then I’ve also told him if he crumps it first, I will pull his pants down in protest and THEN call 911.
I’d vote for the “wish you could come back to life for five seconds to kick your loved one in their stupid ass keister.”
Of course, the “In Loving Memory” part could be sarcasm, and they actually feel that the rattling, smoke-smelling, oil-leaking truck reminds them of the person on the sticker.
Is MB allowed to get said dedication in the form of a tattoo on his shoulder? You know it’s quite populart these days. Or will that also result in a pantsing?
Oh, yes, that totally creeps me OUT! And it’s always accompanied by a creepy blooming rose or two. Dude, if you’re gonna make your car a sputtering memorial to me, at least give me cool decals like guns. No roses!
Also,
/if he crumps it first, I will pull his pants down in protest and THEN call 911./
Hahahahahaha. That’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard.
I always assumed “Muffins O’Grady” was the mechanic that had given his life to making sure that the piece of junk continued to run…
Um, people do this? Seriously?
Rant on, sister. I saw tons of these in the town where I used to live. I think you mean “R.I.P.,” you silly decal people. But no, they saw it on the credits of some dumb TV show and didn’t seem to understand that the show was dedicated to the deceased cast/crew member.
I wonder that if said dedicated rattle-y old truck dies, does the owner have to put a decal about the dead truck on the new truck? I’m gonna be up all night pondering that one.