ME: That place has such an awesome bathroom. I hate it when places don’t live up to their bathrooms …. kind of like church.
HE: (scrutinizing me) Wow. It’s early, but you are ON today.
ME: I know!
***********
We are having a Dom Squab, a domestic squabble. Somewhere in the middle …..
ME: (singing like a Vienna Boys’ Choir boy) You’re as cooold as iiiice ….
HE: Oh, brother.
ME: …. you’re willing to sacrifice our looooove ….
HE: You’re lame.
ME: …. you never take adviiiice ….
HE: (eye roll)
ME: ….. but someday you’ll pay the price, I knoooow ….
ME and HE: (again, like the Vienna Boys’ choir) ….. I’ve seen it before, it happens all the tiiiime, you’re closing the door …. you leave the world behind, you’re digging for goooold, you’re throwing awaaaay a FORTUNE IN FEELINGS BUT SOME DAY YOU’LL PAAAAAAY!!!
I hope that the ditty ended the Dom Squab!
Oh, and about the bathrooms–YES. I sometimes feel that way about the Cheesecake Factory.
Oh, ditties ALWAYS end Dom Squabs. Even if you start singing in anger …. it has healing power, I guess.
Golly, is there no problem that CAN’T be solved by singing lyrics by Foreigner?!…
As many know, during tense negotiations concerning the ownership of the Falkland Islands, the British negotiators starting singing: “Standing in the rain, with his head hung low…” Soon, the Argentinian diplomats joined in and all felt a sense that this crisis could be resolved!
Unfortunately, one member from Buenos Aries who spent his college years abroad at LSU, pointed out to his fellow compatriots that the British group called the song “Juke Box Hero” with jukebox spelled out as two words. As he decoded, “jukebox”, one word, comes from the term “jukehouses” (from Creole and Gullah languages) which were brothels in LA. While the Argentinians have never had a problem with the concept of brothels, the young delegate explainned that “juke”, as a stand alone, term in the English language and etymology means to “fake out”, cheat or deceive.
This misunderstanding caused a war and cost hundreds of lives… Alas, if only the British diplomats had started singing the lyrics from “Double Vision”, perhaps the Falklands War would have never been fought.
I so need to remember this during my next Dom Squab.
MM — Really, I think it’s an excellent deflection. I am ALL about the deflection.
I’ll have to ask my marriage-counselor friend if he recommends the ditty resolution to his couples. If not, he should be!
Why did I add that “be” at the end? When did my grammar start going to the dogs? Terribly sorry about that.