how many?

Because these are the kinds of things that clog my brain. Not the plight of GM or Chrysler, not the immigration issue, not the next Supreme Court appointment. No. No. It’s the minutiae that disables me, the excessive wondering if I’m normal which basically makes me abnormal which is no real surprise here.

So please. Answer these for me. (Copy and paste, copy and paste, pippa.)

You may give what you think is a typical, sensible range for these.

1) How many pairs of underwear should a person have?

2) How many bras should a woman have? (Men, unless you have an ardent opinion, you may skip this.)

3) How many pairs of socks?

4) How many purses should a woman have? (Men, see note above.)

5) How many ties should a man have?

6) How many pairs of shoes should a woman have? A man?

7) How many sheet sets should a person have for their bed — just the one bed?

8) How many pairs of sunglasses should a person have? (I live in Southern California; this is an issue. You are JUDGED by how many pairs of sunglasses you have.)

That’s all for now. Thankee.

nosy friday: a car theme

I seem to like my nosy Friday surveys to have a little theme. ‘Member the bathroom one? Hahaha. That’s a favorite of mine. I learned so much.

Anyhoo. Today’s, with a car theme.

Please copy and paste into comments so everyone can follow the questions and answers.

1) If you were ever to own a vintage car, what kind of car would you like it to be?

2) Do you sing in the car? If so, do you stop if someone drives by you or pulls up next to you?

3) Do you groom in the car? If so, what do you do?

4) List the best/most comfortable kind of car you’ve ever personally made out in. Look, I know you have. Maybe even — gasp! — more.

5) What is in the back seat of your car right now? (And don’t tell me it’s you, making out or more, okay?)

6) Anything dangling from your rearview mirror? If so, what is it?

7) Are you pro dangling car testicles or anti dangling car testicles?

8) If I pulled up to you at a stoplight, could I hear your stereo? What would it likely be playing?

9) Do you have a hands-free device for your cell phone? (If you live in CA, it’s the law now. I live in CA and I don’t have one because I enjoy being a scofflaw. Shhhhh.)

10) Do you like using your cell phone while driving or would you rather throw it out the window, like me?

11) Tell me, parents, how you occupy your kids on a long car trip. (Can’t wait for these answers.)

12) Rubbernecking at accident sites — yea or nay?

13) You are lost. Your GPS, if you have one, isn’t working. What do you do?

14) Have you ever run over an animal? What kind? (Mammals only.) What did you do?

15) What color is your car? (This may seem boring to you, but the most minute details of other’s lives are fascinating to me.)

16) What’s in your glove compartment — beyond the basic registration papers, etc.?

17) Offer me, please, your theory of why some people blatanly pick their noses in the car.

18) Some young dude jaywalks across the street right in front of your car. He’s just strolling across the street, taking his time. Do you slow down or speed up?

19) You pull up to a stoplight with a homeless guy standing there, advertising his hunger. Let’s say it’s Brunch Hungry Guy. He’s right outside your window, staring at you. Do you give him money? Ignore him? Smile apologetically?

20) T/F In a wee fit of road rage, I have flipped someone off whilst driving.

21) Isn’t the 1965 Mustang convertible in Poppy Red with the Pony interior one of the prettiest cars you’ve ever seen? I couldn’t make it fit horizontally, so just turn your heads sideways, pippa. (Some day, 1965 Mustang convertible in Poppy Red with the Pony interior, some day.) You don’t really have to answer this question. This is supposed to be a neutral, objective survey. Flagrant editorializing has no place here.

1965fordmustangconvertibleside.jpg

nosy friday survey: grade school

Copy and paste, copy and paste into comments! Please! It’s too hard to follow answers if you don’t. I beseech you, peaches.

1) What was your favorite thing to wear to school?

2) What’s the weirdest thing you can remember wearing to elementary school?

3) How did you get to school — walking, bus, carpool, cab, etc.?

4) Name one other student who made your days miserable in grade school. If you don’t want to say the real name, give us one that rhymes or something. For instance, if your nemesis was really Buster Bobka, you could call him, oh, Custer Cobka or Fuster Fobka instead. See that? Oh, I hate that Custer Cobka SO much.

5) Describe which “type” you were most like: class clown, prankster, shy kid, bully, etc. (Yes, please stereotype yourself for my amusement, thank you.)

6) Most beloved teacher and why?

7) Most loathed teacher and why?

8) What was your favorite school lunch or brown bag or both, if you partook of both.

9) What did you usually do during recess?

10) Did you ever get sent to the principal’s office, and if so, for what, you naughty minx?

11) I saw a kid pee his pants during our third grade spelling bee. He could not spell Caesar — for shame! — promptly lost his wee and sat down in tears. Witness anything similar?

12) What would you say now to your grade school self? A word of encouragement? Warning? Advice?

13) Any grade school crushes? Names? Descriptions? Kissing in the playground bushes? (I did not!)

14) Who was the school bully and did he/she ever bully you? (Or were you the bully? I am so disappointed in you, tsk tsk.)

15) And, honestly now, did you ever give or receive a wedgie?

the name survey

Okay. You’ve got to be willing to be whimsical and and a bit goofy to complete this survey. Pretend you’re wearing a big silly hat and you’ll adopt the proper mood, I think. Better yet, find a big silly hat, plop it on, and complete the survey. It’s Friday and I just wanna play!

(Copy and paste into comments for easier reading, thanks.)

Ready? These questions are about your name. Some people love their names; others hate ’em; others feel eh. To answer these questions, try to separate your name from you. Think of the sound of your name. The feel of it, etc. If we don’t know your real name, well, it just makes it that much more mysterious, if you ask me.

1) If your name were a flower, what kind of flower would it be? A rose? Hibiscus? Prickly pear?

2) If your name were a color, what color would it be? Give me more than just, say, “red.” Give me “The red earth of Sedona.” You know, be poetic, pippa.

3) If your name were a musical instrument, what would it be?

4) If your name were a kind of candy, what kind of candy would it be?

5) If your name were an ice cream flavor, what flavor would it be?

6) If your name were a city anywhere in the world, which city would it be?

7) If your name were a food, what would it be? Be specific. Not just “Italian”; say “Mushroom risotto in truffle sauce” or something.

8) If your name were a weather forecast, what would the forecast be?

9) If your name were a car, what kind of car would it be?

10) If your name were a book, not yet written, what would the book be about?

Okay. GO!

last hints

UPDATE: ALL ARE SOLVED!! GOOD JOB EVERYONE AND THANKS FOR PLAYING!!

Since someone sent me an email and asked, here’s a link to the first round of Mystery Letters from a few years back — if you’re wanting more or want to do them with your family. I remember the ones in the first round are more general in theme — and there are even MORE of them to drive you nuts, hahaha.

All right. Only 2 left. I can’t give more blatant hints than these.

#4) One of the words, scrambled is: OOINPT

#14) One of the words, scrambled is: DANSIB

I know you can do it.

hints

All right. I know it’s the weekend and people are doing a million other things than reading blogs, so I’ll lift my 2-answer rule on the game below and just open it up. Answer at will, although don’t, well, hog ’em all, you know?

Some hints on the remaining ones:

#3 — Lyrics to an old Broadway show tune — the show was recently revived starring Harry Connick, Jr. I know you’re all Googling now. Cheaters.

#4 — Song title, also movie title, I believe

#5 — Song title with some extra lyrics beyond that tacked on for torture purposes

#8 — Song title, a Rat Packer sang this

#13 — Song lyric, think Roger Miller; if you can’t get it from that, then, well, you’re in timeout

#14 — Book title and movie title, I believe; think mythically

#15 — Movie, think stubborn animals

#19 — lyrics to a Broadway show tune, interestingly enough, with a wretched TV version several years ago starring the person mention in #3 above.

Gah. These are the most generous hints in the whole wide world. I’m a frickin’ angel of mercy.

Now answer ’em, so I can cross this off my To Do List.

And, yes, I’m crabby.

mystery letters game

A little game for your weekend — another round of the Mystery Letters Game that we did a few years ago now.

It’s pretty basic. You need to guess what the letters stand for.

Here’s an example. Let’s say the item is 7 = DOTW. The answer would be 7 = Days Of The Week. See how that works? DOTW? Days Of The Week?

Okay. Of course you do. Move on, Trace.

Some rules for guessing these: Once you’ve guessed 2 items correctly in the comments, please let other people have a shot at the rest. Of course, feel free to work at guessing ALL of them privately, but the limit for correct answers here is 2. Please note the item # you are guessing in the comments so I can see what you’re talking about and tell you if you’re right.

The basic theme here is songs titles or lyrics, movies and books.

Ready? Go.

1) 10 = LI (solved)

2) 1 = ITLNTYED (solved)

3) 7 1/2 = CDBAHOAL (solved)

4) 9 = LPN (solved)

5) 1 = BADSTWBG (solved)

6) 3 = CITF (solved)

7) 6 = DOS (solved)

8) 5 = FTEOB (solved)

9) 76 = TLTBP (solved)

10) 3 = MAAB (solved)

11) 10 = TIHAY (solved)

12) 100 = YOS (solved)

13) 2 = HOPB (solved)

14) 7 = VOS (solved)

15) 2 = MFSS (solved)

16) 50 = FD (solved)

17) 4 = WAAF (solved)

18) 12 = AM (solved)

19) 101 = POF (solved)

20) 99 = BOBOTW (solved)

inaugural survey

Just put this together in honor of the day:

(Copy and paste into comments — thankee)

1. What are you wearing for today’s inauguration? Better yet, WHO are you wearing?

2. If you are the new president, what do you feel is the ideal length for your inauguration speech?

3. What is/was on the menu for your personal inaugural lunch today?

4. You are now president. You’re at the ball tonight, first dance. Will you waltz or just shuffle your feet in a slow dance like a junior high kid? Look. I don’t judge.

5. You’re President Obama. How do you solve a problem like Oprah Winfrey?

6. With which former president do you express a kinship? You have to express a kinship, you know.

7. Please tell me what happens when you, as the new president, need to use the bathroom today. Do you even get to? Do you just dehydrate yourself so you won’t have to? Where do you go to the bathroom? And do the Secret Service come in with you? Will you ever have bathroom privacy again?? (Answer any of these pressing questions you wish.)

8. On the radio this morning, I heard someone suggest that, as he’s leaving, President Bush should say, “I quit this bitch.” If you were President Bush today, what did you say under your breath as the helicopter flew away?

9. Do you have a crush on Lester Holt? Look. I don’t judge.

10. As president, what kind of first puppy do you get?

Please execute faithfully the answers …. I mean, faithfully execute the answers … I mean, so help you — I mean me — God — or someone — to this survey.

love these

Seriously, pippa. I am LOVING all your answers to this survey. I keep going back and reading them and cracking up, picturing all of you living your various versions of Christmas.

You guys are great. Hahahahaha.

the best christmas survey ever

In the continuing spirit of minding my own business, which is my life, I offer up this Christmas Survey which I insist you do:

(Copy and paste into the comments)

1. Opening presents: Christmas Eve or Christmas morning?

2. What do you do with all the paper as it’s being ripped from presents? What about the ribbon?

3. Do you take turns opening presents or is it a free-for-all?

4. Does someone act like Santa, passing out presents?

5. Do you play Christmas music in the background whilst opening presents?

6. I have just given you a gift of socks. Tell me what you say to make me believe you like them, you really like them.

7. Do you like egg nog?

8. Are there any other kinds of nogs that you’re aware of? If not, why not just call egg nog “nog” if it’s the only nog there is?

9. Are there any pre-dinner drinks or snacks available at your house on Christmas and, if so, what are they?

10. What do you wear for Christmas dinner? If you wear elastic pants and admit it, please know I admire you deeply and may very well fall in love with you. Please do not panic.

11. If you’re not hosting the dinner, do you assist in the pre-dinner prep?

12. If so, have you ever considered starting to play with the nearest child immediately upon your arrival at said Christmas dinner, causing him or her to REQUIRE your delightful company up until the very moment dinner is served thereby making it impossible for you to leave the little angel’s side and assist in the kitchen lest a loud, unsightly tantrum ensue? I’m just sayin’ is all. I myself would not do this, oh no, but I would not judge you should you decide to give it a whirl.

13. What’s for Christmas dinner? Along that same vein, what time should I be there?

14. Do you have a kiddie table and will I be forced to sit there?

15. Who is tipsy at your Christmas dinner, besides me, of course?

16. Is there something that is tradition at your Christmas dinner that you cannot stand or simply do not understand?

17. Turkey: White meat or dark meat?

18. Turducken: I know what it is. I need to know why it is. Please enlighten.

19. Cranberry sauce: yea or nay?

20. What happens after dinner? Napping? Squabbling? Frolf?

21. What’s for dessert?

22. What’s the best Christmas dessert, in your opinion?

23. Now that it’s dessert, who is snockered? You can tell me.

24. How many pieces/helpings of dessert do you have? Just know that whatever number you tell me, I will double it in my head to get closer to the truth, ‘mkay, Peaches?

25. Will Christmas carols be sung loudly and off-key, ad nauseum, until baby Jesus cries?

26. Will you be forced to pose for photos at some point by someone making their giddy artistic vision your immediate personal burden?

27. Finally … Christmas day exit strategy: What’s yours?