So my BIL has this website up for family and friends to update people on his cancer situation. People can comment and they do. Most say wonderful, warm, smushy things.
Others say totally retarded things like this:
just hang in there and things will get better as they always do,sometime we hit a few bumps in the road but it will be a happy ending
Uhm, distant cousin dude whom my BIL has never met? Yeah. Shut up. He has stage III oral cancer. It’s no bueno. Things ALWAYS get better? I want to live in your world, peaches. In my world, aka reality, they don’t always get getter. Seriously, shut up, Slappy.
Or this, from a close relative — not on MY side of the family. We’re a little more articulate than this:
This is your redneck voice saying tubes in my nose HURT!! I’ve beat up on people that tried to hurt me HALF that bad, and yet you’re gonna hafta PAY them to do you that ‘DISCOMFORT!!!’ LIFE AIN’T FAIR!!!
But we knew that.
If I have to muck out stalls in the horse barn for 4 hours, or 2 days, as long as there is an end in sight, I can do it. I can’t stand in horse-poop up to my waist forever, but as long as I know there’s an END IN SIGHT I can do it for 2 measley days!!! And so can you!!!! AND THEN IT’S OVER!!! Same with the feeding tube.
My BIL went through nightmare after nightmare with his feeding tube post surgery. His oral cavity and throat were so inflamed, they couldn’t get a tube down. He had a tumor removed from his tongue, for God’s sake! When they finally did get a tube down, the process was agony. Literal agony. Then it got coiled on the way down, so they pulled it out which was reverse agony. They tried this repeatedly. The poor man was beside himself. He finally decided not to have a tube and didn’t get nutrition for, oh, 5 days. He was being hydrated, but not fed.
How that is like mucking out horse crap in a stall, I do not know. Call me stupid, but I cannot make that analogy work for me.
The other day I told my sister — who is calling me every day with updates anyway — that I wouldn’t be commenting on the update site because I just couldn’t hang with those people.
She said, “Are you talking about the horse crap comment?”
“Well, that, and a few other wanker comments.”
“Yeah. I know. People don’t know what to do.”
“Well, I get that, but don’t equate cancer with horse crap! People HAVE to know not to do that! My God!”
“Hahahaha. You’re all worked up.”
“It’s not HORSE CRAP!”
“Horse crap would be way better.”
“Way better.”
“People are stupid.”
“So stupid.”
“Someone else keeps leaving me links to inspirational music videos.”
“I saw that. Have you watched them?”
“No! I don’t have time for that. Gimme a break.”
“I’ll watch them and re-enact them for you when I see you next.”
“Okay. Good.”
“People are stupid.”
“So stupid.”
Yeah. I’m now on Day Three of “Oh, Lawd in heaven, please keep me from going on that site and opening up a can of whup ass!”
So far, it’s working, but who knows how long my resolve will hold?
As I’ve said here before: I am occasionally somewhat unmoderated in my behavior.
We’ll see.
