“Hey, what happened to The Best Thing Ever, US edition?”
Well, pippa. Just too much stress-eroo going on behind the scenes here to do that this time around. But thank you for asking and even noticing that, uhm, it’s not happening.
There’s always The Best Thing Ever, England, next June/July!
We’ll just have to muddle through until then.
Again, though, thank you for your query!!
Are MB and I the only ones who see it?
Sarah Palin
30 Rock’s Tina Fey
MB calls Palin “Hot Tina Fey.” But I’ve always thought Tina Fey has a goofy hotness to her, all by herself. Too bad she’s not on SNL anymore. She’d eat this part up, don’t you think?
Palin’s speech is over. Her family descends onto the stage. Pregnant Bristol is there with her fiance — who is chewing gum; dude, spit it out! — and everyone is waving. Piper extends her arm up straight, tilts her hand backwards, and moves it back and forth to wave. It’s more like she’s waving to the ceiling than anything else. John McCain makes a surprise appearance onstage, shakes hands, kisses and hugs everyone.
And there is Piper Palin. Still waving to the crowd after everyone else has stopped.
Hahahaha. That kid is killing me. Even John McCain can’t help but stop to whisper in her ear.
…. excuse me, but that Sarah Palin is a saucy little bad-ass.
Wow. Uhm, can we vote for her for president? Holy cow.
MB can have Cindy. I’m gettin’ a girl crush on Sarah.
…. the moment of the night:
Piper Palin is sitting with her baby brother Trig in her lap. He’s a sleeping chubby angel and Piper looks A-dorable. Then she looks lovingly down at baby Trig, vigorously licks the palm of her little hand, and smooths his flyaway hair.
Too much.
Is there room in my heart for two Pipers???
She is just precious.
Okay. So MB has a crush on Cindy McCain.
We’re watching the convention. Did it last week; doing it this week. Anyhoo. Rudy’s talking — did you know he says “Obam-er”? — and the camera pans over to Cindy McCain. She’s gorgeous; let’s face it.
And MB, seeing his girlfriend, cries out — only half-jokingly, “Shine, Cindy, shine!”
Sheesh. Calm down, Peaches.
Forgotten who he is already, have you? Well, read this then.
Somebody please throw buckets of money at this guy, pronto.
One of my many Olympic crushes, you know.
(And, apparently, if we all pooled our money, we could host an event and make him swim for us. Uhm, wha???)
(On the other hand, I kinda want to do that now.)
(Yeah, so? Look. I’m the one who wants to put the beefy peach in a Lincoln Log Cabin and watch her cavort about. You think this is beneath me??)
You know how sometimes you find yourself trapped in a car with a grumpy Beloved and things are going downhill fast and you’re both secretly wondering “how much longer do we have to live” blahdie blah, etc.? You know how that happens sometimes?
And once you move past the preferable death scenarios dancing in your head, mesmerizing as they are, you actually start wondering how you could possibly cheer up your crabby Beloved. What to do? What to do??
Well, naturally, a caring wife will suddenly decide that the perfect plan to chase away the gathering storm clouds is to, uhm, cluck — not hum or sing, oh, no, CLUCK — her way through various well-known songs. Oh, like maybe “In the Hall of the Mountain King” by Edvard Grieg.
You know:
bawk bawk bawk bawk
bawk-bawk-baaawk
bawk-bawk-baaawk
bawk-bawk-baaawk
bawk bawk bawk bawk
bawk bawk bawk bawk
bawk bawk bawk bawk
baaaaawk
Oh, wait. How rude of me. Maybe you don’t recognize the tune from just the bawks. Okay. Here’s a MIDI of it, piano only version, which should have no impact whatsoever on your ability to cluck it out, pippa.
For this whole thing to really work in cheering up Your Beloved, you need two things:
1) The willingness to really sound like a chicken as much as possible.
and
2) Insanity.
You got those two things? You’re good to go, Peaches! Cluck it out with a vengeance!
Later, I moved on to the “Theme from Rocky,” pumping my arms in the air and clucking triumphantly like any good chicken-wife.
Naturally.
