IT’S OSCAR TIME, PEOPLE!!
Jon Stewart — is adorable
Nicole Kidman — a column of liquid pearls, presenting Supporting Actor.
Supp. Actor is:
Please not William Hurt — please not William Hurt …..
George Clooney! Okay — speech oughta be pretty good.
“All right — so I’m not winning ‘Director'” hahaha. Okay. But now he’s getting ponderous.
Tom Hanks — I hear lymphatic massage works wonders on unsightly puffiness.
Ben Stiller — WHAT?? He’s in mint green long underwear trying to do a green screen jokey thing; it’s just embarrassing. Well, it IS funny, though, to watch him in his little stretchytard passing out the Oscars to the winners — who are NOT in stretchytards, but gowns and tuxes.
Reese Witherspoon — I do love her! She looks beautiful and flowy and sparkly. Hm. Dressed like an Oscar winner.
Naomi Watts — Uhm, her dress is the same color she is. And that is the color of death. Weird and sickly pale, it also sports a giant chiffon-y tumor, which could explain the whole color-of -death thing. I really like her, but she looked better running from dinos in the jungle.
Dolly Parton — In a low-cut jacket. You know, she doesn’t even really need to HOLD that cordless microphone. Um …. you know.
Shout out to Sheila — Jon Stewart’s Scientology joke — like they caught him in the middle of a big diatribe …. hahahaha!
Tom Hanks did look bad. His hair was too black and it made his complexion look like whey. The hair could have been colored with shoe polish or that spray-on stuff that paints your bald spot – it was just that jarring. Anyway, he looked cheaply dyed and overly fond of drink.