How come, in men’s gymnastics, they wear long pants when they perform rings, high bar, pommel horse, and parallel bars, but they wear little girlie shorts to do vault and floor exercise? Why is that? Why? Because, you see, I am very uncomfortable with the shortness of the shorts and the flare of the shorts combined with the general drafty-ness of these events and the potential to see certain things — things I’ve only heard whispered about out in the school yard, things I just don’t need invading the privacy of my home and my eyeballs whilst I am innocently observing the goings-on. It’s the Olympics, people; not a wee wee museum.
This just in, something that may or may not be related: I really really don’t like that the men’s parallel bars are called “p-bars.”
Basically, I have myriad unfathomable issues that keep me up at night.
Also, as a general rule, I am opposed to men whose butts are smaller than mine. My sister once rationalized the end of a relationship entirely based on this notion. “Wouldn’t have worked. His butt was too small.” So I know I’m not alone. Now, she and I may be alone together, but whatevs. That’s just the way I roll. Teeny tiny bums, teeny tiny waists, huge freaky biceps that are wider than the dude is tall — no, this I cannot abide. It cannot be borne. These are fine athletes, absolutely; some of them might be upstanding citizens and philanthropists and drive hybrids willingly, but that body type just shivers me timbers.
As you were.
PRUDE!!!
(Haha, just kidding. I was thinking the same thing at one point- I mean, moment. Yeah. Not point.)
I feel ya on the sensitivity. I wondered why they kept showing the poor gymnast whose hand slipped from the rings and fell, over and over and over. It made me cringe. I couldn’t believe he was able to stand up and walk after that.
On that same line of thinking… Why do the men’s beach volleyball players wear long baggy shorts and loose tank tops while the women wear bikini’s? Not that I want to see the men in Speedo’s, ’cause I really don’t, but it makes you wonder.
Shut up, Brian. 😉
I am bothered by the men divers. I don’t think a person could wear less clothing and still be considered clothed. Put on a wetsuit for Christ’s sake!
Brian — Yeah, there’s definitely a coverage issue with the women’s beach v-ball players, too. I caught a camera man ABRUPTLY moving his camera away when a player’s bottoms were …. how shall I say …. oh, wandering too far from home. Maybe they could wear boy short type bottoms. They’re cute. (I can hear Cullen telling me to shut up.)
It’s all about me not feeling embarrassed, is what the Olympics are about, really.
You know, I’m sure there’s a perfectly good explanation for the sports uniforms. I’m just saying that they should investigate men’s diving and that volleyball is absolutely fine, nothing to see here.
I was made uncomfortable every time Jonathan Horton would finish a routine, because, well… certain things just… protrude! Through those skin-clingy things they wear. And suddenly there would just be fist pumping and protrusions, and I would abruptly move my eyes to a chalk bin or something because I was just so embarrassed.
Cullen — /nothing to see here./ Hahahaha.
sarahk — /And suddenly there would just be fist pumping and protrusions/. I am choking with laughter!
So the bottom line about the Olympics games is that there are protrusions that need to be investigated before we can all move on.
I think I know a solution. Spanx for everyone!! Oh wait. They don’t have those for guys.
Cullen – my bad. As far as the men divers I think full sweatsuits would be just fine.
Your Olympic mania is positively delightful and contagious. 🙂
Don’t choke, tracey!