She came rushing in on the second to last day of Boheme. This tiny little lady with Peter Pan hair, raspberry lips, and a bandana tied in a jaunty knot around her neck. I’d seen her around before, once or twice. She’d talk a lot; never buy a lot.
“Oooh! You’ve rearranged in here — gimme a small coffee, hon — really, wow! Oooh! It’s so much more feng shui!”
She smiled a raspberry smile. Very feng shui.
“Oh,” I looked around, “yeah.”
“Yeaaah. Nice.” Then she got down to business. “Okay. So now what you need to do for prosperity energy is hang a big –”
A small giggle escaped me. I couldn’t help it. It wasn’t so much what she was saying as it was the timing. I was closing tomorrow.
“No — I’m being totally serious here.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. It’s just that we’re closing tomorrow.”
“What? What do you mean?”
“I mean, tomorrow is our last day here.”
“No.”
“Yeah, it’s true. Just not really working out here.”
“Oh, no. Well, you know … I know things. I see things. And you know what I see? You’re going to be very successful. I just see it.”
She stared at me, eyes bright with conviction. It was an uncomfortable stare. For me, not her, obviously.
“Oh. Okay. Uh, well, good.”
“Yes.”
I didn’t know what to say to her.
“Well, thank you.”
“Yes. Oh, you’re welcome.”
She took her small coffee and practically floated to the back patio, overjoyed with her searing psychic moment. I — the sure-to-be-successful one — watched her for a second, sighed, and started another brew of coffee.
//overjoyed with her searing psychic moment. //
hahahahaha
She needs to go into business with Clairvoyant Carla.
Hahaha — but I could see them fighting over who’s more intuitive. It could be a new comedy show on Fox or something.
But also that they’re both so blatantly incorrect! hahaha
I still laugh about Clairvoyant Clara saying something to that dude like, “You emanate a glow of happiness …” and dude was like, “I’m actually quite depressed right now” or something like that … HA!!!
So she “knows things” but they’re not specifically *useful* things, huh?
Kate P — Exactly!
sheila — Oh, yeah. My favorite Carla the Intuitive Clairvoyant moment. I remember it by heart, practically:
— I sense a deep inner excitement coming from you.
— Actually, I’m really depressed.
— No, it’s a deep level excitement. Trust me.
— No. I’m depressed about my braces; they hurt.
Just the way the guy said that! Hahahaha! And that he admitted it was his braces. I loved him.
Okay, here’s where you roll up your sleeves, take every Boheme anecdote you’ve already written and make it into a book. Polish it off with some of the other searing writing you’ve done and VOILA! Prosperity energy accomplished!
[raspberry look of total, convinced victory]
What? It could work… Really!
tray – HAHAHAHA I love that he just kept reiterating his depression, getting more specific in the face of her clairvoyant certainty.
So funny!!
Oh, I do love your B*heme stories.