Category: the best thing ever blog game

Here’s our lineup:

UPDATE: Plus player assignments from the exciting random bowl drawing!

1. The Artful Dodger, Sheila
Wimbledon Ladies’ Singles Player: Nicole Vaidisova, CZE

2. Jane Eyre, Lisa
Wimbledon Ladies’ Singles Player: Serena Williams, USA

or

or

(Pick the one you like best, Lisa. Putting a real-life face on Jane is too hard for me!)

3. Severus Snape, sarahk
Wimbledon Ladies’ Singles Player: Nadia Petrova, RUS

4. David Copperfield, Leslie
Wimbledon Ladies’ Singles Player: Agnieszka Radwanska, POL

No?

Okay. Maybe this one?

5. Zaphod Beeblebrox, Cullen (No way I can type that name out every time. I simply canna do it.)
Wimbledon Ladies’ Singles Player: Jie Zheng, CHN

6. The Pardoner, Kate P.
Wimbledon Ladies’ Singles Player: Tamarine Tanasugarn, THA

7. Mercutio, Gradual Dazzle
Wimbledon Ladies’ Singles Player: Elena Dementieva, RUS

8. Faramir, Nightfly
Wimbledon Ladies’ Singles Player: Venus Williams, USA

Stay tuned for your matchups! And before anyone else says it: Yes, those Williams’ girls are tough, but they are NOT unbeatable. They aren’t! It’s anyone’s tournament!

Also: Don’t forget! The Boo-Bye Ritual is still in place. As game mistress, I insist. Nicely. This means that when your player/character loses and is out of the tournament, you must post your “Boo-Bye Speech” in the comments section. Written as your character might say it. Talk smack. (No one can out-smack sarahk, but it’s worth a try, no?) Claim victimhood. Pout. Whine. Accuse judges of taking brides. Swear revenge. Whatever. I don’t care what you talk about in your Boo-Bye Speech. It’s YOUR forum. Your last indignant stand. Make it count. This is the only other thing you have to do to be involved in this game, basically. Easy peasy.

So, that being said: Start preparing now. All but ONE of you will have to make one!

It’s that time again! And I kinda almost forgot because, well, I’m just really distracted these days. But a gentle nudge came in my email yesterday from the adorable sarahk:

Please please please tell me you’re doing Best Thing Ever with Wimbledon this year. I already have Anthony Head all picked out.

(Sarahk is currently obsessed with Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which I totally understand. I came to that show very late, but there is one episode that is BY FAR the scariest, creepiest thing I’ve ever seen on TV.)

Anyhoo.

There WILL be a giveaway but I’m still deciding what it will be. Still mulling. It may include coffee; it may include tea; it may include some small mixed-media piece I’ve done; it may include some Caramel Almond Freakout Popcorn. These are all possibilities. It may be a combo of things. Not sure yet. But one thing I know the game will now forever include is this:

The Official Best Thing Ever CUP:

This is the 2008 Best Thing Ever England Edition. (Out-of-focus shot courtesy of my cruppy cell phone. Stay tuned for another out-of-focus shot from a different angle. In person, it looks — well, I hesitate to use the word “better” — uhm, like a weird shiny coffee cup make by a total weirdo who needs to get a life.) And yes. It is a coffee cup. And yes. It is collaged or altered or whatever you wanna call it. I made several of these in the last dying days of Boheme when I’d lost my will to live but not my will to create. Even if only with coffee cups and scraps of paper and food coloring and glue. So this … well, it’s really a timepiece, you know? Of an era. Soon-to-be vintage. Basically, I have enough paper coffee cups of various sizes left over from Boheme to last for this project until … you know, Iran goes nuclear and KA-BLOOWEY or something. Each new game winner will receive a new cup. Each is an original work du great art. Not suitable for holding beverages. Official Best Thing Ever Cups for prominent display purposes only, of course.

All right. Down to the game. If you’re not familiar with the rules, go here.

Okay. Last year, honestly, I nearly ran myself ragged with 16 players — what with finding photos and posting match results and trying to keep on top of results with the time difference and so on. It was all a little dizzying. Huge fun, don’t get me wrong, but just dizzying.

So. This year, I’m going with 8 players only. We’ll try that. Basically, these will be the quarterfinal matchups. I’m going with the ladies’ side of the draw. The men’s seems a bit too predictable — although I could be wrong this year. Roger Federer keeps winning over and over, but this just may be sexy Spaniard Rafael Nadal’s tournament. (Fingers crossed.)

The THEME this year is different. I want to mix it up:

The Best Thing Ever England: English Literary Characters.

(Sorry, sarahk! But I’m saving a slot for you regardless, okay?)

I have 8 slots only. If you want to play, leave your name and your English Literary Character in the comments. Duplicate picks will be decided based on a first-come basis. If a comment goes into moderation for whatever reason, the same rule will apply.

All right. For the Queen! For the Cup!

The Best Thing Ever: English Literary Characters.

Ready? GO!

I have been remiss. The Best Thing Ever: America, uhm, *NSYNC, left a HUGE Boo-Bye Speech in the comments here.

It cannot be a proper and gracious gloat unless you ALL go see it. RIGHT NOW.

All right??

Go there now. Boo-bye.

…. in my e-mailbox today from PostSecret.

Here is what PostSecret would like to say as a gracious loser — if gracious loserhood involved TALKIN’ DA SMACK!! — haha!:

Any follow-up? Anyone? 😉

(The Ultimate Trash Talker)
*NSYNC!!! (Justine Henin BEL)

(Or, The Monster *NSYNC as he-they-it was dubbed here.)

IN 2 QUICK SETS, *NSYNC EASILY DISPATCHED

PostSecret (Svetlana Kuznetsova RUS)

TO BECOME THE OFFICIAL WINNER OF “THE BEST THING EVER: AMERICA”!!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

*NSYNC IS The Best Thing Ever: America.

It IS. They ARE. DEAL with it and move ON.

SOMEHOW.

Later outside the locker room, a swarm of intrepid tennis reporters waited and waited and waited for a comment from PostSecret.

PostSecret, however, had gone back into hiding ……

To our winner *NSYNC: Send me your address (addresses?), your coffee preferences (light, dark, etc.), and if you like it ground or whole bean. ‘Mmmkay??

So let’s all join in and offer our heartiest congratulations to The Best Thing Ever: America — *NSYNC!!

Or your trash-talkiest congratulations. You know. As the Spirit moves. 😉

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR PLAYING!! I HOPE YOU HAD FUN — I KNOW I DID!!

All right. The Finals.

It all comes down to …..

*NSYNC (Justine Henin BEL)

VS

PostSecret (Svetlana Kuznetsova RUS)

So pop that popcorn. Toast that toast. Drink that sarsaparilla.

The official meal of the US Open, dontcha know.

AND THEN …… THERE WERE TWO!

(Sorry about the lateness! I had computer issues!)

Okay.

In Semifinal action today …..

PostSecret (Svetlana Kuznetsova RUS)

SIGNED, SEALED, AND DELIVERED CRUSHING DEFEAT TO

Google (Anna Chakvetadze RUS)

And on the birthdate of Google, no less!

Later in the locker room, Google, racked with cyber sobs, scribbled this card to her opponent:

ANNNND IN OTHER SEMIFINAL ACTION ….

*NSYNC (Justine Henin BEL)

NA-NA-NA-NA-NAAAAED OVER A BELEAGUERED

Gene Wilder (Venus Williams USA)

Later in the locker room, a still-sobbing Google found Gene Wilder crumpled in a corner, pale, wild-eyed, wild-haired, and listened in horror as he admitted to a long ago deed, dark and detestable: He himself had created the instrument of his defeat — The Monster *NSYNC. At this shocking confession, Google redoubled her blubs, threw in some shrieks, and became generally unstable, upsetting the balance of cyberspace. In the midst of all this emotional untidiness, The Monster *NSYNC barreled, roaring, into the locker room and Wilder yowled:

But it gets worse, MUCH worse! HE’S GOT A ROTTEN BRAIN! IT’S ROTTEN, I TELL YA! ROTTEN!

To which The Monster *NSYNC roared back: RAAAAAAAAAAAA!

And Google wisely interjected: Ixnay on the ottenray.

Silence. Then bedlam. Cameras and notepads clattered to the floor as reporters shrank from the soul-shrivelling “RAAAAAAAAAAS” of The Monster *NSYNC. Later one intrepid chick reporter dared to return for her notes. As she tiptoed toward the locker room, she heard it — the soft strains of a violin and Gene Wilder, Google, and The Monster *NSYNC crooning ………

If you’re blue and you
Don’t know where to
Go to, why don’t you
Go where fashion sits

Uuuttin’ on da Iiiiitz!

Diff’rent types
Who wear a day coat
Pants with stripes
And cutaway coat
Perfect fits

Uuuttin’ on da Iiiiitz ………….

See you on the court for the Final, peeps.

Trash-talk!!!

HA! Fooled you, did I? Thought I just declared a winner all autocratically, did you?

Nope. I’m just loving all the trash-talking in the comments of this game. Also, the Boo-Byes. Dino’s (WordGirl) Boo-Bye Speech here was particularly affecting. So hooray for Dino’s losing. And *NSYNC, Old Glory, Mark Twain, and Opportunity are just generally talkin’ smack back and forth. *NSYNC penned a patriotic new pledge of allegiance and recited it to Old Glory here. I was just so moved. Really. It was almost as good as that Oompa-Loompa song by, uhm ….. oh, yeah. ME!

Just wanted to say that all you goobers are killing me. That’s all. Continue with the trash talk.

Oh, and the tennis. Yes, the tennis.

And then there were FOUR!!

On Friday in the Semifinals, we have ….

PostSecret (Svetlana Kuznetsova RUS)

VS

Google (Anna Chakvetadze RUS)

ANNNND …..

Gene Wilder (Venus Williams USA)

VS

*NSYNC (Justine Henin BEL)

So let’s see. It’s secrets vs. searches and man vs. boys.

Seems fair to me.

Good luck and good matches, everyone!

In the latest …… supplied by Gene Wilder himself (ahem) ……

Gene Wilder (Venus Williams USA)

OOMPA-LOOMPAED OVER

The Liberty Bell (Jelena Jankovic SRB)

Later in the locker room, The Liberty Bell was treated for multiple cracks and contusions by loving, orange-faced Oompa Loompas, who comforted it with this little number:

Oompa loompa doopadee do
I’ve got another puzzle for you
Oompa loompa doopadah dee
If you are wise you’ll listen to me
What kind of bell cracks on its first ring?
A bell that’s not fit for anything
Who even made you, what is your prob?
Didn’t you see that deep-court lob?
The kind that can kill you
Oompa loompa doopadee dah
If you’re a good bell, you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the oompa loompa …… doopadee do!

The Liberty Bell just cried softly.