*more* results — the best thing ever: america

In the latest …… supplied by Gene Wilder himself (ahem) ……

Gene Wilder (Venus Williams USA)
genewilder1.jpg

OOMPA-LOOMPAED OVER

The Liberty Bell (Jelena Jankovic SRB)

Later in the locker room, The Liberty Bell was treated for multiple cracks and contusions by loving, orange-faced Oompa Loompas, who comforted it with this little number:

Oompa loompa doopadee do
I’ve got another puzzle for you
Oompa loompa doopadah dee
If you are wise you’ll listen to me
What kind of bell cracks on its first ring?
A bell that’s not fit for anything
Who even made you, what is your prob?
Didn’t you see that deep-court lob?
The kind that can kill you
Oompa loompa doopadee dah
If you’re a good bell, you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the oompa loompa …… doopadee do!

The Liberty Bell just cried softly.

15 Replies to “*more* results — the best thing ever: america”

  1. You know, sarah, I could go all metaphysical on that and say LOOK, look what America’s become, that the Best Thing Ever could be *NSYNC or Google.

    But Gene Wilder, I have the love for him, so I have to admit that out of those things, I hope he’s crowned the Best Thing Ever.

    I mean, if the Constitution or the Liberty Bell can’t be it.

  2. Well, folks, I pealed off my best shots, but things didn’t go my way. But in truth I don’t mind losing to Mr. Wilder because he is an excellent competitor and off the courts he’s just wonderful, always quick to crack me up by pretending he’s a wacky candy purveyor or a hapless deaf fellow. I don’t even know what I’m saying now.*

    Thank you to everybody who supported me or at least felt o.k. with a bell playing tennis. I played hard, and now I’ll head back to the City of Brotherly Love to prepare for future games by dodging wackos chasing me with hammers and shouting paranoid gibberish.

    *Inside joke for anybody who saw Jelena’s post match interview.

  3. Kate P, I did see that. That was funny. “No… no… I don’t even know what I’m saying now.” Like, “Are these the right words to say that I don’t know what I’m saying in your crazy language?” I thought it was cute.

  4. NF — You and my husband! This Chuck Norris fixation just killllls me! I guess you’ve read the “Chuck Norris Fact Sheet” then?

    And how come nobody thought of Chuck Norris for best thing evah? We’re going to have to play again so Chuck Norris, John Wayne and Madeline Kahn get a shot.

  5. The Chuck Norris thing is hysterical. Why, of all people, Chuck Norris? (Answer – Because Chuck Norris, that’s why.)

    My favorite Chuck Norris Fact – there is no such thing as global warming; Chuck Norris was cold so he turned up the sun.

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