results — the best thing ever: america

AND THEN …… THERE WERE TWO!

(Sorry about the lateness! I had computer issues!)

Okay.

In Semifinal action today …..

PostSecret (Svetlana Kuznetsova RUS)

SIGNED, SEALED, AND DELIVERED CRUSHING DEFEAT TO

Google (Anna Chakvetadze RUS)

And on the birthdate of Google, no less!

Later in the locker room, Google, racked with cyber sobs, scribbled this card to her opponent:

ANNNND IN OTHER SEMIFINAL ACTION ….

*NSYNC (Justine Henin BEL)

NA-NA-NA-NA-NAAAAED OVER A BELEAGUERED

Gene Wilder (Venus Williams USA)

Later in the locker room, a still-sobbing Google found Gene Wilder crumpled in a corner, pale, wild-eyed, wild-haired, and listened in horror as he admitted to a long ago deed, dark and detestable: He himself had created the instrument of his defeat — The Monster *NSYNC. At this shocking confession, Google redoubled her blubs, threw in some shrieks, and became generally unstable, upsetting the balance of cyberspace. In the midst of all this emotional untidiness, The Monster *NSYNC barreled, roaring, into the locker room and Wilder yowled:

But it gets worse, MUCH worse! HE’S GOT A ROTTEN BRAIN! IT’S ROTTEN, I TELL YA! ROTTEN!

To which The Monster *NSYNC roared back: RAAAAAAAAAAAA!

And Google wisely interjected: Ixnay on the ottenray.

Silence. Then bedlam. Cameras and notepads clattered to the floor as reporters shrank from the soul-shrivelling “RAAAAAAAAAAS” of The Monster *NSYNC. Later one intrepid chick reporter dared to return for her notes. As she tiptoed toward the locker room, she heard it — the soft strains of a violin and Gene Wilder, Google, and The Monster *NSYNC crooning ………

If you’re blue and you
Don’t know where to
Go to, why don’t you
Go where fashion sits

Uuuttin’ on da Iiiiitz!

Diff’rent types
Who wear a day coat
Pants with stripes
And cutaway coat
Perfect fits

Uuuttin’ on da Iiiiitz ………….

See you on the court for the Final, peeps.