si se puede

A while back, a friend who’s on Facebook (uhm, all my friends are on Facebook, apparently) emailed me about some “Christian” page on Facebook that I should join — you know, when I join Facebook. (Hahaha and all that.)

But I was SO annoyed with her description of this page, I created a FAKE Facebook identity just so I could get a gander at the stupid thing. Yup. (And, no, I will not be starting a page. I created a name and that was it.)

So this “Christian” page: It’s called “We CAN find 10,000,000 Christians on Facebook.” Here’s its stated purpose:

The purpose of this group is for Christians to take a stand in their beliefs and be counted. our goal is 10 million. It is a big goal, but I believe it can be done! Thank you for joining and please invite your friends!

Okay. So you go there. You join. And somehow you’re standing up for Jesus? Being counted? (Well, I believe you’re being counted, but maybe not in the way you’re hoping, silly Christians.)

Give me a break. The whole thing strikes me as totally ridiculous. So you find 10,000,000 Christians on Facebook. So what? Who cares? To what end or purpose?? So Christians can stand around and go “YAY! There are 10,000,000 Christians on Facebook!!”?? That’s just retarded. What do the people who’ve joined this page think will happen if they reach that 10M goal? The rapture? The second coming? People around the world saying, “AHHHHH!! There are 10M Christians on Facebook, I am now convinced me that I’d better accept Jesus as my savior immediately!”?? And what will the people who’ve joined this page DO when and if they hit that mark? Send “Christian hearts” to one another’s Facebook page? Have a cyber party with cyber cake in “Cafe World”? (Yes, I do know some things about Facebook.) Seems to me like the moment the page clicks over to 10M will be more anticlimactic than a New Year’s countdown. I mean, at least that involves the entire world. And at least people get kissed.

Come ON. It’s a pointless endeavor. Sorry, Christians, but it bugs me. You’re making me and any other basically sane and intelligent Christians look bad. Please stop. This is what’s becoming so irritating to me. Either the collective Christian IQ is plummeting precipitously or else I’ve just been exposed to a spate of real dummypants lately.

Look. I’m sure there are more than 10,000,000 Christians on Facebook worldwide, so why is this important? Why is this something worth doing? Just listing yourself as a Christian on Facebook makes Jesus all proud and tingly? No. He’s going, “Quit wasting your time with that crap. And leave me out of it, kthx.” IF you asked each Christian who came onto your page to give a dollar to World Vision or Feed the Children or something, THEN you might be doing something worth doing. But you’re basically saying , “Hey, Christians. Come over here and sign Jesus’ yearbook.”

Well, he doesn’t need me to.

So I don’t wanna.

And you can’t make me.

Nyaah.

24 Replies to “si se puede”

  1. I can say ditto to the reason I am not part of the whatever number of christians on facebook. I am a FB user for many reasons that aren’t relevant here but I am also a FB skeptic who makes fun of FB users who participate in groups that mean nothing. Nothing!

  2. Brian — Honestly, it makes me cringe. If that makes me terrible, so be it, but WHAT’S the point?? I want someone to join one of these groups just to ask WHY?? So if I say on some Facebook page that I’m a Christian then it rillyrillyrilly counts or something?

    Well, Brian, you and Kathi and MB and I can hide out in our little subversive corner of heaven, okay?

  3. Ugh. Those FB group things are bad enough in FB. I hate it when they find their way into e-mail. My mom is horrible about it, too. It’s like the old days when I first got her an e-mail account and she forwarded every FW:! she received. That’s exactly what these group requests are.

  4. Exactly, Cullen. I can always tell when someone is new to Facebook, because I am inundated with all those stupid requests. Join this group. Be my Farmtown/ville Friend. Here’s some Blueberry Cheesecake from Cafe World. I’ve blocked more applications than I can count.

    Oh, and if there is a grammatical error in your group or on your fan page title? I wouldn’t join it even if meant some puppy died of a** cancer every second.

  5. Tracey, the title to me looks like this:

    1 O millior

    hahaha It’s like you’re speaking in some ancient Druidic language.

    Bet we can find 10 million Druids on Facebook!!

  6. Those things bother me – when started by ANY religious, political or in some way very opinion-related group. Because it essentially comes across to me as, “There are so many of us that the rest of you will eventually have to agree that we are RIGHT and/or BETTER THAN YOU.”

    It’s even worse when it’s a large group whose belief system is well-known and accepted amongst a large cross-section of the population. I mean, I KNOW there are a lot of Christians. I know a lot of people voted for Obama. I know a lot of people live in Minnesota. I don’t need these things proven to me by way of a Facebook group. I may see group titles that apply to me – but I don’t feel like it serves a purpose to join and try to make the biggest group possible because, to my mind, it’s just a bizarre need to be reassured of being RIGHT – by virtue of sheer numbers. And I have always seen that need as a little sick and disturbing, no matter how inherently human it is.

    I am, however, for the record – an avid and regular Facebook user. It’s great for networking when planning events and communicating with other people working on theater projects.

  7. We can hang out Tracey, as long as we have good food to eat. And for that, I think we need Jane along too!

    God convicted me a while back about my cynicism. It was getting to be a bit much. So I stopped be cynical for a while. That didn’t last very long. I’ve had the exact same thoughts.

  8. Disclaimer: I found your blog through Luke @ Sonlight. But I’m not here about that. I just wanted to tell you why some random person was commenting on your blog, and introduce myself. 😉

    Hi, I’m Sarah. And I really agree with this post! I have ignored the invite to that group repeatedly.

  9. I think your subversive corner of heaven might need to be large – because if all of you and Jayne are going to be there, then count me in too!

  10. Sheila — I SWEAR I typed an “N.” What’s the deal with that??

    Marisa — Exactly. Sheer numbers don’t make something right. It’s too needy for me. I find it embarrassing.

    Kathi — You know, I don’t know if it’s cynicism, per se — although it’s entirely possible — as much as it is critical thinking skills. Perhaps? I mean, looking at that FB page, as a Christian, and crying “Foul!” or “Lame!” I think is more a function of being able to analyze and not JUST emote about something.

    Although maybe I’m trying to rationalize my cynicism here. Let’s start an FB group:

    “We CAN find 10 MILLIOR cynical Druids on Facebook!”

  11. Okay. It’s totally bugging me — the “n” as “r” thing. I swear when I click to edit the post, it’s an “N.” WHY is it an R? I have to rename this post.

  12. I can find 10 millior Christiars on Faceboor!

    FWIW this bugs me too, so we may need a bigger corner. It’s a Friends of Glurge gathering. No doubt innocently meant, but I innocently mean to avoid at all costs. This tallying up of raw numbers says almost nothing useful about the health of the souls involved.

    Subversive Corner – like Pooh Corner, but with cookies.

  13. NF — Faceboor! Hahahahahahahaha.

    There is some demoric possessior goirg or with this blog today. Clearly, I am being purished for my dislike of this Faceboor page. Bad raughty Christiar.

    CV — Orly if Pooh brings honey. Or horey.

    Cullen — Exactly! A yurt!

  14. Did you get the dopey “Sad-day, Tears-day” post about “what if the seven days of the week didn’t have God” yet? I had to comment on at least two of them that helloooo, the names of the days of the week are already kinda Pagan, mmmkay?

    Oh, and “keep the Christ in Christmas?” Is so totally a contradiction in terms. Drives me nuts. Or the campaign to force cashiers to “Say Merry Christmas.” Maybe I should form a facebook group that insists on cashiers singing the Doxology after each transaction instead. Take a STAND for God. 🙂

  15. Mrs C – OK, now I’m cracking up.

    CASHIER – “Amen, amen, I say unto thee – your total is $12.87. Render unto WalMart what is WalMart’s.”
    GUEST – “Acceptest thou this personal check?”
    CASHIER – “Yea, verily, with two forms of ID.”
    GUEST – “Be it done unto me according to thy store policies.”
    BACK IN LINE – “What the ^%**!$ is taking so long up there?”
    CASHIER – “We’re sorry. Our left hand does not know what our right is doing.”
    GUEST – “AMEN!”
    BACK IN LINE – “Bag this noise, I’m going to Target.”

    Before the lightning bolt arrives, I want you all to know how much I love you.

  16. Mrs. C and NF — Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!

    I TOTALLY want you to start that FB page, Mrs. C! I would even join it with my fake FB identity, if I even remembered what my fake FB identity WAS.

    And I’m dying to hear what this Sad-day, Tears-day thing was about. I haven’t seen it.

    NF — “We’re sorry. Our left hand does not know what our right is doing.”

    Hahahahahahahahaha.

    I love you too, NF. I’m crying with laughter over here.

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