thumbs

My right thumb was the beautiful pale bride in a lacy white wedding dress. My left thumb, well, my left thumb was stark naked so I just had to imagine him as the dapper groom in a sleek black tux. The ceremony was brief but touching. The little thumb bride wept during her vows. The little thumb groom spoke in a gruff voice, choking back his emotions. When the moment came, the two kissed with abandon, channeling all those emotions into a slow lingering moment.

“STOP, Tee Tee!”

The Banshee wasn’t buying it.

“What? They’re married!”

“They’re THUMBS, Tee Tee!!”

“I know. Isn’t it cool? They’re married now.”

“They CAN’T be married!”

“And why not?”

“They’re THUMMMBS!”

She tugged at the tiny doll wedding dress covering my thumb. I gasped.

“Banshee! Are you taking her wedding dress off?!”

Shaking a naked doll in her hands, she declared, “It’s supposed to go on HER!!”

“Oh? Hm. I think it looks nice on me, don’t you? And look how the veil wraps around my little thumb. So pretty.”

I lovingly stroked the tiny tulle veil on my thumb. The Banshee started to laugh.

“Tee TEEEE! This doll is naked!!”

“She has underwear.”

“JUST underwear.”

“Yeah, I see that. Sheesh. Put some clothes on her.”

“Your thumb is WEARING the clothes!”

“Does that doll want to marry my thumb?”

“Noooo!”

I sighed. A big drama sigh.

“Okaaay. Well, I guess she can borrow my wedding dress.”

“Good. Your thumbs are now UNmarried.”

“Oh, no. They’re still married. They’re not unmarried just because this thumb changes clothes.”

“But they’re THUMMMMMMBS, Tee Tee!!!!”

“Happily married thumbs. See? They’re always together.”

I looped my thumbs together.

“Do you want your thumbs to get married now?” I asked. “I’ll be the preacher.”

She hesitated for the tiniest second. She was considering it. She was.

“NO, Tee Tee!!”

But she smiled, she giggled, she almost let her thumbs get married.

Almost.

Maybe next time.