waaaaah!

Well.

I have managed to lock my own self out of my own Gmail account. Now I cannot access it for 5 damn days — all because — well, something happened. I mean, I did something. I know not what. But those nice Gmail people, after I had typed about 743 various username/password combinations — trying to remember every obscure, stupid thing that I might have used to protect myself and my account — finally said, “Okay, loser. You are obviously some pathetic ex-girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse of the real owner of this account who’s trying to hack into it to read the aforementioned REAL owner’s email. Therefore, you are now locked out of this account for 5 whole days. At the end of the 5 days, you can try to answer your security question (good luck, Slappy, ’cause it’s obviously not the real YOU), and if you answer correctly (which again, you won’t) you will be given the chance to change the password that you don’t currently remember. Sure, we could ask you the security question NOW and give you the chance to prove who you are — again, right now, for instance — but we prefer to punish your stupidity or early onset senility with a 5-day lockout. We will be happy to help you in any way possible …. after 5 days …. if you even remember you have a Gmail account by then …. which, uhm, you won’t …. probably. But that’s just the sense we’re getting from you. But it’s not personal or anything.”