“dear billy joel”

I have been in love with this whole Pop Music Correspondence series for a long time now. The latest, to Billy Joel.

I think you should sing songs. Actual songs. Because you don’t sing any at all right now. You’ve been playing at my club for three months, and though you’re a fine musician and an acceptable vocalist, these things you perform are just not songs in the traditional sense. They’re streams of observations about what the people in the club are doing, punctuated by the occasional “la la la, de de da da” when it’s clear you’ve run out of things to say. It’s just a continuous stream of musical small talk lasting up to five hours.

Also ….

I guess I do owe you some thanks, however, for singing about the drink called Loneliness. That’s a terrible name for a drink. I’m renaming it Banana Mambo. More festive.

Hahahahaha. Read the whole thing.