Oh, I do love him so much, I can’t tell you, but …. Johnny Depp as Sweeney Todd?
The musical Sweeney Todd? I could see him, actually, as the character; he’s got the brooding and the pathos and the sardonic air, but can he sing?? Sweeney’s gotta be able to SAHHNG, man. Rabid fans of the musical, like me, won’t accept anything less. I really like the idea of him as Sweeney — if it weren’t for the singing. Maybe he’ll blow me away, though. I hope so.
Also in the cast:
Mrs. Lovett: Helena Bonham Carter
Sigh. This one actually bothers me more than Depp, mainly because, well, I flat-out don’t like her. Her powdery boneface. Her spade-like chin. Her eerie, bottomless eyes. Oh, and also the wee fact of her stealing Kenneth Brannagh from my beloved Emma Thompson. Do not hurt Emma, chippy, and expect me to still like you. And can your husband — (er, boyfriend??) — Tim Burton do a freakin’ movie without you, please? I know this Sweeney is still “in development” — I mean, last I heard Russell Crowe was going to play Sweeney — but if you really do play Mrs. Lovett, I will relish what happens to you in the end.
Signor Pirelli: Sacha Baron Cohen
Don’t know anything about his singing ability, but just on pure physicality, I think he’s great for it.
Judge Turpin: Alan Rickman
Ooooh! I love him; he’s one of my all-time favorites. Love this casting. Don’t care if he can’t sing. LOVE it. I will even sit through “Johanna (Mea Culpa)” — a song that literally makes me squirm, what with the self-flagellation and all — if he’s the one doing it. I don’t care if he just speaks it. That face. That voice. He’s perfect.
So, come ON, Tim Burton! Hurry up and make the movie already so that I can be the only person in America who goes to see it.
(By the way, Tim Burton, I think Emma Thompson would make a fabulous Mrs. Lovett. Don’t know if she can sing, either, but I just prefer a Mrs. Lovett who seems more substantial, more full, more of a woman; not some spindly-sharp little boy. You’re clearly being hypnotized by the biggest things on that Bonham Carter chippy — those bottomless bog black eyes.)
