beyond the pale

I love it when I write something, read it again much later, and still agree with myself. On the other hand — not to be too one-sided — it could very well mean that I haven’t grown one iota on a personal level since writing that particular something, which would then be kind of no bueno.

But for the purposes of this post, let’s assume that continuing to agree with oneself is muy bueno, otherwise this all falls apart, ‘kay?

I found a post from our FOC blog that I never posted here. It’s actually a comment I posted on one of the big FOC blogs during the FOC implosion last summer in response to all the pro-FOC people who liked to come on these blogs and denounce the wounded as bitter people who just needed to “get over it already.” (I reposted it on our FOC blog because, well, I liked it.) It’s gotten to the point where you can always spot a FOCker by the regular recitation of the “you’re all bitter and need to get over it” mantra. It’s a dead give-away. A dead dismissive giveaway. So one day, my slow burn on this topic finally erupted and I responded to these chronic invalidators.

Here’s the comment and, yes, I still agree with myself:

Can I say something in a general way to the steady stream of people who traipse onto the blog suggesting we’re all on a slow train to Bitter Town or already living there in our giant scowling mansions, building more rooms every day?

It’s always fascinating to me how these people presume to know the invisible condition of strangers’ hearts. Since one assumes, based on how massively irritating it all is, that these people aren’t Jesus, they can’t possibly know if we’re “bitter” or “unable to let it go” or whatever dismissive lingo they choose to use. Still, they presume to know what they cannot know, all the while dismissing what’s empirically in front of them, especially now: years and years of the FOC’s abuse and dysfunction and unrepentance.

Here’s the thing, though: We “bitter” souls wounded by the FOC are closer to finding freedom and healing than the unrepentant souls who wounded us. We can – and do – find those things in Christ even if/when our wounders never say “boo” to us. We can work through forgiveness apart from any healing actions or redemptive words from them. That’s just how good God is.

We don’t necessarily need them in order to be free. We ultimately need only him.

But ….. and here’s the problem for them …….. they need us in order to be free. They can go to God all they want saying, “Uh, sorry, God, sorry. Sorry about that thing with that person,” but that doesn’t truly free them because they haven’t sought forgiveness from the person they’ve wronged. I mean, I can extend forgiveness in my heart all the livelong day – and I do, I swear I do – but forgiveness isn’t received unless it’s sought. A gift that sits unwrapped isn’t a gift received. And that’s the job of the unrepentant where forgiveness is concerned: to seek it and receive it. Until they do, there’s no true freedom for them. We can find freedom without them. They can’t find freedom without us. They need us for their own healing.

I’d worry less about the people presumably living in bitterness and more about the people imprisoned by their own stubbornness. One group is much closer to true freedom than the other.

The final comment left on our FOC blog last summer by dear “Brother Raymond.”

There is really nothing to say except that he missed the point of the story — entirely — because he didn’t even finish it.

I read most of your journey through (FOC) and frankly I could not finish it. (And yet I still have tons of loving opinions about the kind of people you and your husband are.) Truly I think the dangerous people in that situation were you and your husband (Whoops — guess I shouldn’t have gone up and prayed for those two people. They may have caught my “dangerous” cooties.) and you both obviously have a lot of bitterness and need some healing. I find it incredible you both went through this big, demanding drama because you were writing mean things about people and God exposed you. (“God exposed us”? No, Joe did. He misses the whole “anonymous” angle of the thing entirely. I am literally hopeless about people with this rigid unthinking mindset.) What is spoken in darkness will be declared from the rooftops, have you read that saying from Jesus. (I wasn’t speaking in “darkness,” precious, but I was speaking, again, anonymously.) I was a little more sympathetic at firs (I myself don’t waste much sympathy on firs, but to each his own) because I have heard other..really horrible stories about (FOC) but yours was not one of them. (We never claimed it was a “horrible story.”) Actually you made me feel sorry for them having to endure your selfish, sneaky, backbiting behavior that eventually got them all demonized publicly by you. (NOT publicly! AHHHHHHH! It’s the willful ignorance I find so intolerable.) I can tell you this much…I don’t think its Christians that have the problem. I think you need to really…really..truly meet Jesus and get healed so you can love people and not be so mean and petty. I feel sorry for you. Mainly because by your writings you are apparently so blind to your own behaviors, and that you were mad at people who weren’t any worse than you two drama king and queen. I’m sorry people didn’t play patty cake with your fragile ego..but you gotta die to yourself so you can live for Christ. I really am sad for you. I am almost crying because your slander and selfishness is doing harm to others that may seek Jesus, but desire to stay away because of all your raging and bitterness. (Oh, for God’s sake. I hate this argument. So if I write about my own personal experience with Christians at a certain church and it’s not the best experience I’ve ever had, I’ve somehow ruined Jesus?? Churches are flawed. Christians are flawed. If we do nothing but hide the flaws to “protect Jesus” — who doesn’t actually need our protection — we just breed even more flaws, even deeper issues. If a husband and wife, for instance, never speak of any issues between them, the issues compound over time and become much worse. If people want to seek Jesus, they will find Jesus. And the church isn’t Jesus, actually.) I pray you repent and become a servant instead of a sulking, sneaky passive aggressive. (Yeah, it would be nice if that happened.) I am sorry if this is to harsh (Harsh? No! It’s lovely! I’m gonna have “Here lies Tracey, a sulking sneaky passive aggressive” put on my tombstone.) but your I am sorry if this is to harsh but your blog…its shameful. May the Lord forgive you and may you repent to these people.

Matter of fact I wonder if you went public with this stuff just to get attention for yourselves. I saw you created this a month ago..right in the middle of a public FOC meltdown. (Nope. The “FOC meltdown” last summer happened, oh, about 6-7 weeks AFTER our little story went online. But thanks for that unfounded accusation.) I hope that s not why you have done this and I pray it backfires in your face if that’s what you are doing. Crawling on the backs of others to get recognition for yourself is not an attribute of Jesus. (This sentence just strikes me as so funny. Like you’d put that on your dating profile: “I crawl on the backs of others to get recognition, much like Jesus Christ himself.”) If you have issues with what I have said you can freely print them and I will explain to anyone who disagrees with me why your blog is so infuriating and wrong, from a biblical perspective. I know many will accuse me of being a secret (FOC) agent but that’s why I gave you my website. I live in Colorado..married with six kids…and going to Seminary in Denver. (Oh, I have more to tell you about our Brother Raymond, pippa.) I go to a stranger church than (FOC) and work with addicts. I am saying these things not because I have any sympathy for (FOC) but because you call yourself Christians while you try to drag people who attempted to love you through the mud. (Again, it would be super duper helpful to your basic comprehension of events if you’d actually finished reading about said events.) I even have pictures on my website because I have no issues with walking in the light. (Yes, I did get a gander at those.) I do not fear men and I do not take potshots at Then right after, a post later, I saw you got busted and I literally laughed out loud. (This is what’s so interesting to me. I got “busted.” That’s how he sees it. I wrote anonymously about my own experience at a (still) unnamed church, someone outed that, and I deserved to be “busted.” I just can’t understand this mindset. I hope I never do, to be honest.) Yet still you made an insight about people whispering, and you marching over to confront them with their eyes bulging out, and how someone looks when they have been caught. Somehow you made no connection to yourself. You were mad because you got caught and were running around church with your own paranoid eyes bugging out thinking everyone was focused on you. (Hm. I didn’t think “everyone was focused on me” but clearly a few people were for a certain amount of time, based on the empirical evidence.) How arrogant is that, as if you are the center of everyone’s universe. (What? I’m NOT???) It never occurred to you that maybe they didn’t even care and felt sorry for you. You projected all these evil intentions from yourself dear woman. The wicked flee when no one pursues them. (I get it already. You think I’m wicked.) I knew you would deal with it in a petty and mean way by your previous postings. Its sad you cannot see that. (MB and I tried over and over and over to get Joe to talk to us — you know, like it says to do in the Bible. Again, reading the entire story before passing judgment might be a good idea.) I hope you at least have the courage and integrity to post my comments so we can dialog in the light. (Nope. We didn’t post his comments since MB and I decided our Brother Raymond was a tad …… unstable. Someone can disagree with me or take me to task, but if they can’t do it rationally or even coherently, well, I don’t want to engage that. It’s a waste of valuable mental resources.) So far, I feel you are a glory seeker and will not because you are afraid of confrontation (Hahahaha, you clearly do NOT know me) and like to bash people in private. But we’ll see. If you say you know God and hate your brother…your a liar. That’s what John said. (Yes, I know. Thank you. Perhaps you could think on that verse a bit? Just a thought. Not once did I say I hated anyone in this scenario. Not once did I bash anyone’s character in this scenario. I don’t hate anyone in this scenario. I had a huge problem with people’s actions/behaviors/institutional mindsets. I have a huge problem, too, with minds who can’t/won’t make those kinds of distinctions.) I pray you examine your own treatment of believers before you continue to bash them publicly. (Uh, ditto?) I actually thought it was awesome when God outed you. (So you’ve said.) I was so upset with your arrogance and belittling behavior I sent you a comment.

And Brother Raymond exits, pursued by a bear.

Here’s the thing about Ray:

Brother Raymond is, essentially, a street preacher. A few years ago, he believed he’d heard the call of God to walk across the country all the way to New York City, preaching the word of God along the way, standing on street corners, lovingly yelling at people to repent, come to Jesus, etc., because 911 was just God’s warning to us, a harbinger of worse to come. All of this is very effective stuff, modeled on how most churches and pastors share the gospel, of course, which is why the streets in New York City are always so crowded. Just too many street preachers reaching the lost.

His wife and 6 children did not accompany him on this task. No. He left them at home while he trudged across America, straightening out his priorities with every step. I mean, one assumes.

Brother Raymond and his friend Brother Elliott even made a series of fascinating videos about their quest and how 911 inspired all their work for the Lord.

You can start the viewing here.

Break out the popcorn, pippa.