feel like …

I feel like someone who invited a homeless man into her home for a sandwich and he complains because I’m out of pickles.

Or like I invited him in from the cold and he whines because the temperature’s still not right for him.

I feel like I just gave a kid a Christmas present and she pouts because it’s not the right color.

I feel like even trying to do the right thing simply isn’t worth it anymore. It’s just too discouraging.

“No good deed goes unpunished,” as the saying goes. Why does that always have to be true, I wonder? Why bother? It just rips you up. Lays you flat.

Can I please sleep for a hundred years now?

oh, help me rhonda

Who knew this brief little quote from “The Simpsons” would bring out the angry drive-by commenters? By the way, any new reader’s first comment goes into moderation. Gives me a chance to sorta see what I’m dealing with, you know? And I’m not approving your comments, because, well, I don’t have to! BWAHAHAHA! — I AM MAD WITH POWER!!

MADDDD!!!!

WITH POWWWERRRRR!!!

All righty. But I will address your witty comments as a whole, ‘kay?

First of all, strangerinos, the comment, in context, was actually funny.

(Are there people still unfamiliar after almost 20 years with what “The Simpsons” is?)

Second of all, I’m not saying I relate to it because I find it so easy to forgive myself, because I don’t, so enough already with the hostility about “Oh, how nice for you that you can always forgive yourself no problem.”

Clearly, a short quote from a cartoon show has given you a window into my soul.

Perhaps my comment about the quote was unclear, but what’s with the rush to judgment?

Thirdly — and let me completely strip the quote of its humor because I’m alls about stripping things of their humor around here; I mean, I would curl up and die if I couldn’t strip things of their humor — the quote is about how some people find it easy to forgive themselves in the face of really huge wrongs or hurts they done and then offer flippant apologies to a still-hurting person. And I know what that feels like.

But thanks for your now-deleted comments. They made my day!

Signed, your blog monstress,

Dr. Tracenstein

a bit more on “how weird”

I can’t quite shake being bugged by the American Idol thing from the other night. The “Shout to the Lord” episode.

I guess I have a tendency to think of things from a performer’s perspective. I put myself in their shoes. I relate. And while I personally wouldn’t have had a problem singing that song — well, the vague cheesiness of the song would make me drag my heels a bit — I find myself wondering if any of the AI finalists DID have objections to singing that song. I have my theories about that. I mean, all it took was the camera panning down across their faces to plainly see — at least to me — that a few of the singers were just not into it. What if one of the finalists was a Buddhist? A Hindu? Jewish? Is it fair to expect him to sing a blatantly evangelical song about “my Jesus, my Savior”? If I were on AI and they wanted to end the show with a rousing rendition of “Shout to the Vishnu,” I think I’d have a bit of a problem. I don’t view it any differently if there was someone the other night feeling forced to sing a Christian song.

Of course, I’m sure they’ve all signed contracts and I have no idea, really, what those contracts stipulate, but was this fair? Do the contracts mean the finalists MUST do whatever is put before them? Can they ever say no? Probably not, but I really don’t know. Is there a possibility that one of the finalists could have felt harassed by having to sing that song? And what would that person’s options be — if given options? “Sing the song or have people notice you’re not there”? “Sing the song or you’re out”?

I mean, what would it have been like for any finalist who, deep down, was really opposed to that song?

I know it might be easy to think, “Oh, I like it because I’m a Christian and I agree with the sentiment of the song,” but I try hard to look at things from other sides, different angles.

Let’s say that God “uses that song.” Maybe it touches someone who heard it. Okay. Fine. So a little “+” for the cause of Christ, I suppose.

(I still think the motivation was pandering.)

But what if one or more of the people who had to sing it became embittered from having to sing something that they didn’t personally believe in? Embittered toward the producers, embittered about the entire incident, and maybe even the message of the song? A bit of a “-” for the cause of Christ, I think.

Now basic math — which is all I’m capable of — would tell us that there were more people watching the performance than participating in the performance, so there were likely to be more pluses than minuses. Anyone watching who didn’t like what they were hearing could simply click away. Singers couldn’t, of course. Oh, well. Too bad for you, singers. Your teeny minuses are nothing compared to all the huge pluses.

Perhaps the pandering behind it all was used as a way to placate the singers: “We know that some of you may not agree with this song, but when you sing it, more people will give more money. Think of the bigger picture. Your personal beliefs don’t matter here.”

Ends justify the means. Always. Of course.

Maybe I’m making a big deal of nothing. Whatevs. It’s what I do. Maybe none of the finalists was really bothered, but the facial expressions were telling. To me, it was obvious. The whole thing was so out of left field to me that I watched everyone very closely. Body language, facial expressions. There were singers who were squirming inside.

But they raised a lot of money, I guess, so who am I to cry any foul at all?

this film is so beautiful

This is from a company called Paper Tape Films based in LA. They specialize in extremely high-end wedding films. Yes, not your basic video. They’re wedding cinematographers. They film in 8 or 16mm and it is just so gorgeous and timeless. Film elevates everything it captures. It just does. This film is an encapsulation of the day, not a moment by moment, but I would trade a moment-by-moment video in a heartbeat to have something that looks like this instead. For a mere $3- to 8,000. 😉

Oh, but it’s beautiful! Check out the dog. Check out the moment when the groom goes through the white door. You’ll know what I mean. Lump in throat, and I don’t even know these people. So it starts off in New York City …..

Just watch.

(Okay. This is their main page. Look for the list of cities on the lower left. Click on the prompt next to “Denver/Aspen” and you’ll see a continuing list. Click on “New York” to see the one I’m talking about. Click on whichever ones you want, obviously, but I thought I was putting up a link to that particular one. It doesn’t seem to work that way. Believe me, I’ll be watching all of them!)

Beautiful, no?