pet peevish

I’ve decided that if I get one more political email from certain relatives who live in this country — legally — but who are NOT citizens and DON’T vote, I am definitely going on a statewide killing spree.

You know ….. this is just a huge HUGE pet peeve of mine.

So to all legal non-citizen residents of this country, especially if you’re related to me, which means you don’t even know about this blog and won’t ever read this, unless you run into one of those lurkers from my churchoh, hello! — I’m gonna say this: Please, please make haste to shut the hell UP about US politics. You’ve lived here forever and you’ve never taken the step to become citizens or exercised your right to vote? Then there is nothing else you should even be allowed to do but shut the hell up. That is the only thing I can abide from you on any topic of this nature at any time. I love you and all, but you have absolutely no right to complaaaaain or mmmmoan or really even SPEAK of a process you wilfully choose not to participate in.

I think, too, that whenever I see you from now on and you start raging about politics in your current non-citizen, non-voting state, getting all red-faced and breathless, you must deposit one dollar for every minute you speak into my huge hungry “Citizen or SHUT UP” Jar. Every unwanted political email that provokes a sigh and the enervating finger movement of deletion will cost you five dollars into the jar.

OR you could save up the money yourselves and finally become citizens, uhm, 35 YEARS LATER.

Bleah.

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