attention, spam losers:

Thank you SO much for the lovely, informative links regarding “big t*ts, round a**es.”

But, hey — you know what? All I need to know and/or enjoy about the aforementioned “big t*ts, round a**es,” I can learn and/or enjoy just by looking in me mirror.

And, really, no, I do not want to be “feiends” with you. I am deeply, deeply prejudiced against careless misspellers, raging idiots, and people who flatly demand I look at their “big t*ts, round a**es.”

Sorry.

Also, know what else? When my best friend Hedy Hanson showed me her butt when we were 6, SHE let me play with her brand new Barbie.

See that, feiends? You’re selfish and you suck.

People don’t like that.

11 Replies to “attention, spam losers:”

  1. Yeah? Well, I used to have to EAT spam. That’s right! Several times a week for lunch. I am convinced the experience was the progenetor of nearly all adult dysfunction.

    But then, this has absolutely nothing to do with your post, does it?

    Right then.

  2. I hear you! I have recently starting getting ones advertising for Pee Pee Growth. I already have to go pee in the middle of the night, I don’t need to go more often! Oh…it’s not that kind of pee pee.

  3. I’ve been getting spam telling me I just need to eat a candy and then be ready for “36 hours of love.”

    I’m guessing the candy is maybe green m&ms?

    I’ve not looked into it because I don’t currently have anyone in my life that I could share “36 hours of love” with.

    I also get lots of spam offering me “life experience” degrees. Or I got one offering me a degree from a “prestigious nonaccredited university.”

    maybe that’s only funny to me because I’m a college prof and I know what “nonaccredited” really means.

    I also got offered a “dimploma” once.

  4. Watch out, ricki!

    Soon, they will go beyond wanting to improve your life and mind.

    Soon, they will want to be feiends with
    you …

  5. Well, I’ve got e-mails offering me God’s blessings courtesy of the widow of a Nigerian general, if I just send her my bank account number so as to help her get her late husband’s assets out of the country…I think that counts.

    The most evil spam I ever received? It had a name attached to it not unlike the name of someone I knew, and the subject line was “Urgent Prayer Request!” (and this friend was someone who might do that, if she had an emergency in her life.)

    inside, was an ad for the “get-em-up” pills that seem to make up 80% of all spam.

    I really really wish the Almighty was still in the business of smiting people; I’d suggest that the person who sent that spam be on His to-smite list for the day….

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