and who doesn’t like pie?

Welcome to Word*Pie!

Some silly thing I made up while “taking my brain away” at The Beanhouse.

(Remember in the book The Princess Bride, by my crush man William Goldman, how Farm Boy Westley was being tortured on The Machine by the evil, six-fingered Count Rugen? And how he would try to take his brain away from the all the torture by thinking of that stupid bee-otch Buttercup? Because he loved her and he was trying not to die and all? Well, you know what? Cry me a river, Westley. You may have had sucky little pain cups all over your body draining your life away, but you never, ever spent one moment’s sucky toil at The Beanhouse. And, hey, don’t sit there saying, “Jeez, Trace, that’s harsh. What has Westley — um, a fictional character — ever done to you?” BECAUSE, chippies, if you’ve ever read that book then you surely KNOW that Westley did a lot, a LOT, to me and to you, too, by his dogged insistence that that flighty, shallow, queen of putrescence Buttercup was actually worth his undying troo luv. Annnyway ……. uhmm, I’ve been having problems focusing lately. But I’m pretty sure you can’t tell.)

So the silly thing I made up whilst taking my brain away at The Beanhouse is ….. Word*Pie. It has an asterisk. Because I say so.

And it goes like this:

First, a Word*Pie is simply a real sentence taken from a real book and scrambled, all cra-a-azy and willy-nilly like!

And, YOU, dear, clever reader, must arrange the words in their proper order to match the original sentence as found in the original book.

So, below, please find the lists of ingredients necessary to create some lucious and yummy Word*Pies.

See what delicious dainties you can whip up in the verbal kitchen, then unveil your literary confection in the comments for judging by moi, of course.

Let’s see whose creation matches the original. Match must be exact. Because I say so. And, well, because the author wrote it one way and not any other.

(Also, I’ll take guesses as to the title of the book, if anyone wants to take a shot at that. Uh, no, it’s not The Princess Bride.)

Ready?

********

Word*Pie #1: (1 comma) ** SOLVED BY SAL!

my
mockery
delicious
damned
looked
be
urine

Word*Pie #2: (3 commas)

eaten
pieces
will
disembowelled
torn
likely
flat
very
be
you
to
trampled

Word*Pie #3: (1 comma) ALSO SOLVED BY SAL!

mammals
of
heaped
parts
grotesque
a
animal
together
dead
were
pile
the
decayed

Wow. Strike that whole “yummy/delicious” vibe from above. The theme here is rather …. macabre, to say the least.

Okaay! Slight change of mood here!

Who can make the Most Foul Pie!? The Most Beastly, Bloody Pie!??

Seriously. Was I listening to “Sweeney Todd” while I put this post together?? Sheesh.

41 Replies to “and who doesn’t like pie?”

  1. Mockery be damned, my urine looked delicious.

    Very likely, you will be trampled flat, disembowled, the torn pieces eaten.

    Parts of the dead animal were heaped together, a grotesque pile of decayed mammals.

    Is it Hemingway? Does it have something to do with Slappy?

    You are one sick barista… More, please.

  2. All right, Sal. The first one is right! Hooray! The other two aren’t.

    Now … play nice and let someone else try ’em. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    And, no. Not Hemingway. Or Slappy.

    And yes.

    I am sick.

  3. What book is that from? I’m afraid I haven’t read it… Guess I’m not so well read. But Sal’s got it going on.
    Hahahaha! Word*Pie! Serve up more, any time.
    You are brilliant, dear.

  4. I have the correct #3, but I’m being good.

    C’mon, you’re all talented writers! You can do this.

    Is it Ruark? Wilbur Smith? Novel or non-fiction?

  5. I’ll tell the book once they’re all guessed.

    And Missy, there’s NO way anyone could guess this book just from these three sentences. At least, I don’t think so. So don’t feel bad.

    C’mon, people!! You can do it!!

    Is Sal gonna guess them ALL??

    Cullen? WordGirl? red? Missy, take a guess! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  6. All right, peeps. I’ll be back here ’round 4 pm PST.

    Lemme see some guesses!

    You don’t want me to start talking about machine stenography again, do you?

  7. #2: Will you be disemboweled, torn to pieces, trampled flat, very likely eaten?

    #3: The dead animal parts were heaped together, a pile of decayed grotesque mammals … ?

    I mean, that doesn’t look right, but it’s all I got.

  8. #2: To you will very likely be torn, trampled, disembowled, eaten pieces.

    #3: Mammals were of a grotesque animal together, piled dead the heaped grotesque parts decayed. (Ok, I know this could use more commas!)

    Can’t say I know where they come from – perhaps a fortune cookie?

  9. Cullen —

    On #2, your last 3 words are correct.

    On #3, well, it needs reworking. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Kathi — YES! A fortune cookie! How did you know? You know I’m kidding, right?

    Okay, Sal …. let’s hear it.

  10. You will be trampled flat, torn to pieces, disemboweled, very likely eaten.

    ???

    I’m a little worried at how much fun this game is…in it’s own sick way.

    Am I close?

  11. Sal — Dingdingdingdingding!! You got #3!!

    Not Lovecraft. Hahahaha! It’s cracking me up, because it’s so not what you think!

    Lyn — It’s just getting the order right on that sentence. Almost have it.

  12. How about: “You will be torn to pieces, disemboweled, trampled flat, very likely eaten.”

    You know it’s killing me…
    What is this from? Something 19th century…

  13. Steve –
    ain’t Google wonderful?

    I found a book related to Red’s “Casey at the Bat” post in about 5 mins., a process that in the old days would have meant interminable discussions with the library spouse, and no conclusion, until one of us bolted awake in the middle of the night and blurted, “The Lunatic Fringe! that was it! The author won a couple of Edgars.”

    Will we be slapping our heads?

  14. No! #2 has STILL not been guessed!! CLOSE, though!

    I do not think you guys know what the book is. Really. Email me with it, if you’re convinced you know.

  15. Remember I said “very likely eaten” were the last three words?

    Uh, they still are ….

    Hint, to keep you from losing your will to live:

    FIRST three words:

    “You will be.”

    Missy was very close with her first guess — #22. It’s just getting the correct order of the horrors, you see. Change the order. I’ll check back around 8:30 am PST. If no one’s gotten it then, I’ll give the answer AND, AND!! — the name of the book. Sorry, you guys!

    Um, I suck.

  16. MISSY — YAY!!! THAT’S IT! WHEWWW!!

    รขโ‚ฌล“You will be torn to pieces, trampled flat, disemboweled, very likely eaten.รขโ‚ฌย

    Sounds kinda like this game ….

    Anyway, the book (that now you will probably NEVER read, but SHOULD) IS:

    LIFE OF PI, by Yann Martel

    TA DAAA! THAT’S ALL FOLKS! THANKS FOR PLAYING!

  17. You know, I’ve never read that book but I’ve thought about reading it–I’ve read good reviews. (Pi, Pie, hmmmm)

    BTW I linked to this. It’s too funny.

    (Hope life lightens up…)

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