Two weekends ago ……..
ME: (on waking up, first words of the day) It’s my birthday! Your day is gonna suuuuuuuuck!!
HE: Oh, brother.
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Later …..
ME: Okay. It’s my birthday. No documentaries about weirdos.
HE: All right.
ME: That’s your birthday.
HE: Yes, haha.
ME: I want something funny where people die hideous deaths. I need it to feed my inner rage.
HE: Oh, okay.
**********
ME: I’m gonna spank you like a somma bits!
HE: What? That’s not how you say it!
ME: Sure, it is. I just said it.
HE: You’re hopeless.
**********
ME: What’s the name of that movie again? Sweet Fatty Sauceback?
HE: No! That’s not it! It’s Sweet Sweetback’s Badass Song.
ME: I like mine better.
HE: It’s not better.
ME: They should change it.
HE: No, they shouldn’t.
ME: Come on! Sweet Fatty Sauceback? I wanna see a movie about him!
Happy past birthday! And welcome back! All us imaginary people in your picture-box really missed you!
I want something funny where people die hideous deaths.
Are we talking “Kill Bill” funny, or “Monty Python and the Meaning of Life” funny? ‘Cause there is a difference, you know.
BTW, belated happy birthday to you!
Sweet Fatty Sauceback – hahahahahahaahaha
Okay. How many s’s do you guys see on Badass — because it looks weird to me like that thing with the vase, no, the two faces, no, the vase. It keeps looking like Badas to me. What is my problem?
Badass, Badas, Badass … maybe I need to fill my eyeglass prescription ….