Oh, Lord.
Someone sent this image to me in an email, talking about how GREAT and BEAUTIFUL and MEANINGFUL it is and how I needed to send it along to non-Christians I know.
Why? What for? To say, “Hi! Not only am I a Christian, which probably annoys you, but I have really bad taste, which is inexcusable. Wanna hang out?”
You know, I can’t explain it, but this painting actually enrages me. Mainly because it sucks and I’m a crankypants. But also because this is what Christians consider “great art.” Throwing anything and everything “symbolic” at a canvas and causing sensory overload to the point of seizure and meaninglessness. The effect on me is the precise opposite of its intended effect, I’m sure. This painting actually means NOTHING to me because it’s trying so hard to mean EVERYTHING. Ugh.
(The culprit/”artist” is John McNaughton.)
Oh, his website — which made me a little dyspeptic — showed this piece in cloying closeup and that document Jesus is holding? It’s the Declaration of Independence.
Let me bullet point my issues here:
~ Again, it’s just bad. It is. Anyone with a modicum of taste will agree. I’m sorry.
~ I’m not saying the dude doesn’t know how to paint. I’m saying the dude doesn’t know how to think or edit himself, which is much worse.
~ You know, it’s basically Thomas Kincaide meets patriotism and I cannot stand Thomas Kincaide although I have no issue with patriotism.
~ But it does meld Jesus with patriotism, which I DO have an issue with.
~ Jewish Jesus is pretty and white.
~ He’s holding The Declaration of Independence, which he wrote as we all know.
~ Lincoln has his arms outstretched worshiping Jesus and/or The Declaration. Although, Abe? You’re turned the wrong way, aren’t you?
~ The dude next to Lincoln — Adams? — appears to be worshiping Lincoln or gesturing to Lincoln. “HE farted. I didn’t do it.”
~ I do enjoy the fellow on the far right next to — Adams? — who seems about to bolt from the canvas. Hahahaha.
~ The little kid gets to touch The Declaration, but not Jesus. “Don’t touch the robe, kid.”
~ I also enjoy that Ben Franklin looks slightly pissy and pouty. “You know, I invented electricity, Jesus, so big whoop on the halo thing around your head.”
~ The weeping justice makes me vomit.
~ Is that Thomas Jefferson or John Hancock to the left of Pretty Jesus there? Is that a rolled-up copy of The Declaration or a baseball bat? Is he about to open a can of whup ass??
~ Is the dude in the lower right-hand corner texting?? Hahahaha.
~ Who’s that woman between Franklin and Jefferson/Hancock? Is she wearing a breastplate? It looks like …. Joan of Arc??? I’m so confused.
~ Is that Reagan next to the Betsy Ross chick? What up, Reagan? He seems a blank to me. Is this Alzheimer’s Reagan then?
~ Why is the blonde reporter in the lower right interviewing the pregnant lady’s hair?
~ Who’s the sobby janitor on the far left?
~ O how I hate this.
~ Although I would totally change my opinion if Waldo were hiding somewhere in there.
Please take a moment this weekend, pippa, to ponder this painting and the rich confusing history it represents.
HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!
(UPDATE: Commenter Brenda put a great link in the comments to the artist’s site. Click on this link and you’ll be able to scroll over all the faces and learn what ALL THE SYMBOLISM is. You must check it out. Lordy.)
Oh, oops. My bad on something. Jesus hold the Constitution. Jefferson, to the left there, holds the Declaration. And here I was hoping it was a baseball bat and someone was about to open a can of whup ass.
Oh gag a maggot. That is just vile… on an artistic level, definitely… but more importantly, on a Christianity level. This guy’s got some serious stuff to answer for, for perpetrating this crap. Sorry, strong opinion, but it’s what I believe. Why do people have to commingle Christianity and patriotism? I fight it all the time in my own church, where I’m worship leader, and it’s very frustrating to try to explain to people the difference between America-worship and Jesus-worship. Hello?!?
Jesus appears to be accompanied by a cloud of low lying brown mist.
GraD — You GO, girl!! I love it when you get all fired up! And I so agree with you! This is why I’m currently in the parental doghouse — the distinction I make between America-worship and Jesus-worship. I’m a naughty girl.
Brian — Yes. What’s up with that? Jesus as Pig-Pen??
Also: Just how tall IS Jesus? I mean, GW was tall. Like 6-3 or something. Jesus is towering over him.
Jesus! Drop the Declaration. The NBA is calling.
Christian art isn’t truly Christian unless there’s a “sobby janitor” included.
Also that crowd looks pretty damn white.
I believe Lincoln is doing his Al Jolson impression. (But it’s all for the best, because if he were to stand up, he’d be bigger than Jesus!)
The older businessman to the left of the reporter appears to be talking on his cellphone, oblivious to the whole second coming thing. Sheesh. Some people.
This guy must be working from an art student textbook called “101 Emotional Gestures” or some such. But I like how Reagan (is that Reagan, between Betsy Ross and the black soldier?) just stands there like a waxwork dummy.
Um, my comment disappeared and was replaced by “OK.” OK, well, what I said was, the artist claims that Satan is in this picture, somewhere. Can you find him?
Brenda — I deleted your OK. That’s okay, right? I must not have looked closely enough at his website. Gave me the heebies. Did he really say “Satan” is in the photo??
I’d be curious how he paints Satan, since he clearly has Jesus down pat.
sheila — I count 2 black guys and no other ethnicities.
There IS some shadowy decaying figure midway on the right-hand side.
It’s either Satan or a Jawa.
This is possibly the creepiest thing I have ever seen…
I love how the little kid is like, “Hey, Jesus! I found the letter H! And-and a R, and a M! Now you find some!”
And obviously Satan is the dude jabbering away on his cell phone. He’s probably talking loudly about his last doctor’s visit. I hope Jesus smites him good.
Maybe Satan is understood to be inside the Congressional building.
This painting is stupid.
There’s a place on his website where you can put your mouse over each character and a little explanation of who they are and what they symbolize comes up. It turns out Satan is the grey hooded figure next to “Mr. Hollywood” (the smug guy in the red shirt), the “Liberal Reporter,” and the “Professor,” who apparently is holding a copy of Darwin’s Origin of Species. My, this is subtle, ain’t it?
Kate P — I’m howling at the little kid thing!!
And Jesus is all, “Look, kid. I’m Jewish. I read from right to left, okay?”
sarahk — /This painting is stupid./
Hahahahahahaha. That about sums it up.
Brenda — I’m sorry. You went into moderation because of the link. Thanks for that info, though. So, wait. “Satan” IS the shadowy Jawa figure on the right-side middle? Beneath the colonial guy who looks like he’s about to bolt?
Actually, Brenda, I’ve spent more time on that link you put up. Good LORD. It’s even worse than I thought. You guys HAVE to read his explanations about all the “symbolism.” It’s nauseating. I’m a Christian and I think it’s nauseating. Most of the people who comment here are Christians who think it’s nauseating. So …. where are the people who enjoy this? (Okay. Well, aside from the person who sent it to me.) I’m just hoping there are more Christians out there who see this as kind of insulting and hamfisted. This is the kind of “art” perpetuated by Christians that gets us reputations as being stupid, intolerant, narrow, smug, blah blah, you name it. But YEAH. If this is the kind of stuff people have to go on, of COURSE, we seem like that. Damn. I like symbolism in art. I don’t need a piece of art to symbolize EVERYTHING. I mean, if I’m cooking some gumbo, I don’t put anything and everything in it that I can touch or see or think of. No. There’s a way you make it so it tastes good, so that it’s edible. There’s what goes into it and what doesn’t or shouldn’t.
Basically, this painting tastes like ass.
As MB always say, “Just because you CAN doesn’t mean you SHOULD.”
Put the paintbrush down, sir.
Oh, no. I can’t stop reading the explanations. Someone stop me, pippa!! It’s a goldmine of horror!!
Okay. See the dude above the blonde on the right-hand side? That’s “Mr. Hollywood.”
Here’s his story:
“He represents your entertainment business in America. It is very apparent that there is a liberal slant with Hollywood. He looks down at the judge and pregnant woman with ridicule and amusement.”
I just ….. I … really, I don’t have words.
The dude I thought was texting is a lawyer.
“He is lovingly counting his hundred dollar bills.” (His words, not mine.)
He’s a lawyer, so naturally he’s corrupt, GET IT? And he shows that by having him count money, which is evil as we all know if we misquote the Bible.
I oppose burning books or destroying art, but I would burn this painting if I could. One, because it isn’t art, and two, because it’s stupid, as sarahk so succinctly said.
OMG is all I have to say about this atrocity!
If you have to have a website where you scroll over the painting to see what it all means then you didn’t do a very good job of painting it in the first place is all I’m sayin!
Andrea — Exactly! Amen.
The man next to John Adams, looking about to bolt the canvas, is Sheila’s dead boyfriend, Alexander Hamilton.
“AHH! What am I doing HERE?? I’m late for my date with Sheila!!”
I seriously can’t stop reading his explanations. What is wrong with me??
The “sobby janitor” is a Civil War soldier. He’s sobby because brother fought against brother, you see.
So…at first I was confused by the posturing of the people in the picture. Have you noticed that no one on the left side is looking at Jesus, while everyone on the right side is. It’s like the parable of the sheep and the goats – only reversed. It also means that some of the founding fathers are looking at Jesus. That might throw some Christian historians for a loop.
And, why is the judge sobbing? Did he approve of Roe v. Wade? Which might explain why the pregnant woman is pointing her finger at him. But, she’s on the wrong side!
And, who is is the duffus on the right in the red shirt and leather jacket? He’s not doing so well because he’s got a Dementor behind him! Look out dude!
OK, I meant right side (no one is looking)…Jesus’ left. Left side (everyone is looking at Jesus)…Jesus’ right.
And, all I could think about today is wondering what churches across the U.S. will be like tomorrow.
Every time I look at this painting I’m frustrated by the light and shadow contradictions. Jesus’ clothes has shadows yet he seems to be the source of light that casts all other shadows like on the steps and papers. How can he have shadows on him if he is casting the light? His head casts a shadow upon his shoulders yet his body doesn’t cast a shadow on the ground. I’m bugged by this. I couldn’t even participate in the search for the devil after Brenda’s post because the light/shadow issue distracted me. Is the sun setting exactly behind his head or is the back of his head glowing? If it’s the back of his head glowing it is bright enough that the painter should have put sunglasses on all the people behind Jesus’ massive glowing cranium.
Kathi — Click on that link that Brenda left in comment 14. You’re not far off on your left/right, sheep/goats thing. Don’t forget: EVERYTHING in this painting means SOMETHING. The artist himself even says so.
You can click on that link and move your mouse around the painting to see what he has to say about everyone and everything. You can even click on the pieces of paper strewn around the sobby justice. Those are Supreme Court decisions, pippa! Oh. The artist says that the sobby justice’s watch is set to 11:59 to show THERE’S NOT MUCH TIMMMMME!!!
Ugh. The man is so rigidly positional, it’s actually hilarious to me. He’s like a cartoon of a Christian. I’m sorry.
Brian — You must Photoshop away the shadows. Or give everyone sunglasses. There is endless fun to be had here. Good thing we have eternity!!
It’s cracking me up that you’re analyzing the lighting. Hahahahaha. But you make some valid points.
Why is it so ominously overcast? Is a twister comin’? With Miss Gulch on her bike? Hold me, Auntie Em.
Tracey – re: the janitor/Civil War soldier – I wonder what this artist does with:
Matthew 10
21″Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death.
35 For I have come to turn
” ‘a man against his father,
a daughter against her mother,
a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law –
36a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’
or Luke 14
25Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: 26″If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. 27And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.
Note: this is not my finest piece of Biblical interpretation, in fact, it’s not really interpretation at all, so don’t read any of my own interpretation of these verses into this comment. I’m just saying, that for a guy who “reads the Bible” as he um, appears to, he might want to contemplate the above…
Happy 4th nonetheless!
Katie
This is a special subgenre I call “Mormon art.” THere is a whole bevy of Mormon artists, mostly in Utah and Idaho, who churn out this sentimental stuff. You can tell it from its own special “look.” Sorry I am not an artist, so I can’t tell you the technical terms, but if you look at ldsartshop.com and ldsart.com you will see the range of Mormon art out there and its distinctive “look” and subject matter. Melding Christian themes with American history is a Mormon specialty. I am a Catholic living in Utah; it is hard.