The Chargers beat the New York Giants yesterday, 21-20, in an absolute nailbiter. San Diego QB Philip Rivers marched the Chargers 80 yards downfield in less than 2 minutes to score the game-winning touchdown with 20 seconds left in the game. New York got the ball back, yes, but in the final play of the game, SD linebacker Shawn Merriman sacked Eli Manning.
Pretty awesome, but only if you’re a Chargers’ fan, which I am, in fair weather, ahem.
But this isn’t the sports column.
This is about me and MB and how he was stuck at the office yesterday and how I provided color commentary for him on the last three minutes of the game. I’m pretty sure that falls under the heading of “wifely duties.” Or it’s in the Constitution or the Bible or something.
So I’m at home, alone, watching the game. I’m freaking out. Screaming to the walls by myself. We’re gonna lose. I hate you, Chargers. You suck. I’m rooting for New York now. Oh, nice. Incomplete pass. We suck. I really hate you, Chargers.
My cell phone rings. It’s MB. “What’s happening in the game?”
“We’re behind by 6. We’re gonna lose. It’s over.”
I’m very positive in my negativity.
“Oh, that sucks.”
“Yep. So, want me to describe the game to you?”
“Sure.”
“Okay. Uh ….. here we go …. Rivers is back, he’s back, he throws, and ……… AHHHHHHHHH!!!! …… I can’t believe it ………. AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!”
“What? WHAT??”
“AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!”
“WHAT???”
“Huge HUGE pass completion. We’re on, like, the 20 or something, AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!”
“Wow!!”
“I know!! Okay. Wait. Here we go again. The clock is ticking, so it’s all hurry up. Rivers is back, he throws … AHHHHHHHHHHH!!”
“What? What? WHAT???? I don’t know what’s happening!! You’re just screaming!!”
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! We SCORED!!! We SCORED!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! We’re gonna win!!!”
“WOW!!”
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!”
Yes. This was my play by play. Screeching in MB’s ear.
Uhm, I guess I can cross NFL commentator off my list of “Jobs I Think I’d Be Good At.”
Uh, yeah.
Still, I gotta say …… AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
I hear you, sister…I felt the very same way about the Cowboys game!
If Gus Johnson was doing the play by play, you’d fit right in with the AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH and such. The guy probably gets excited watching people in the drive-through.
“It’s a completed order, a #3 big-sized! TREMENDOUS play under pressure, with the line bunching up behind him! And… CAN IT BE??? YES! EXACT CHANGE! A HUGE PLAY! Lunch hour is winding down! He’s at the second window –
He’s got it! He’s out of the lot – he BEATS THE LIGHT! HE BEATS THE LIGHT!”
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
Great commentary. I hate games like that. More, please.
Oh, and thank your team for Drew Brees for me. 🙂
I think if you get a “Wow” out of him, your job is done!
Don’t know why I didn’t trust my gut on that game. Darnit.
You are WAAAAAYAYYYYYYYY better than Dan “Captian Obvious” Dierdorf at color commentary. And a good wife for doing that.