Sunday night. Be prepared for TMI. I would blame myself, but I blame sarahk instead. Before this part of the discussion, we were discussing whether it was “terd” or turd.”
“Deep” and “hard-hitting” is how I would describe our chats. Yup. Also: I punctuate badly or not at all during our chats because sarahk is always all, “HURRY UP! TYPE FASTER! I’M A DESPOT!” and I get performance anxiety and my fingers shrivel. It’s bad.
And where’s Bob Dole for THAT problem, I would like to know??
me: what are you doing now?
pretend this is twitter
sarahk: hahaha.
we’re watching dollhouse.
and i’m researching refrigerators so i can go ahead and order one already
but i wouldn’t tweet that!
me: is that not tweetable?
sarahk: but BSU’s football team is now #5 in all the polls, and I did tweet that.
me: i don’t understand anything anymore
sarahk: Nah, it’s too much like, “I got up this morning, ate eggs, took a nap, put on my shoes.”
people will unfollow you for turds like that.
me: oh, so there’s a standard for twitter information? it needs to be pithy?
hahahahaha, no turds.
this is why i couldn’t twitter. it’s all turds
sarahk: yes, pithy or informational.
me: but that IS informational — you’re getting a fridge
sarahk: because, i mean, Andy Levy follows me. And I don’t want him to go, “She’s so boring. I’ll unfollow her and get back thirty seconds every day.”
me: like if i were to twitter right now, i’d say my coccyx hurts.
okay — who is andy levy?? I am amish
sarahk: once the fridge is ordered and/or delivered, I will tweet that. but the research, no.
But see, a hurting coccyx is funny just because hello, random. and also, funny word.
me: well i could just say ass.
but it’s my ass crack. i’m having an ass crack problem and i’m concerned.
sarahk: Andy Levy is on Fox News on the show that comes on at 2 a.m. (midnight here, so you probably get it at 11). he does the halftime report and makes fun of the other guys on the show and corrects their mistakes. he’s funny.
ow, what is wrong with your crack?
me: oh, okay. i don’t have cable. hello. amish.
i don’t know. i hurt my ass crack. working out or something. i don’t know — it feels bruised.
sarahk: I would just like to repaste our last 2 lines:
“ow, what is wrong with your crack?
tracey: oh, okay. i don’t have cable. hello. amish.”
me: not that i’m sitting around rubbing my ass crack.
hahahahahaha, we’re still doing it. we don’t wait for the other person to finish. it’s funnier that way.
sarahk: Ow, I hate when that happens. I get that from working out sometimes too. What a pain in the… well, ass.
me: how do i fix my asscrack, sarahk??
sarahk: It IS funnier. I just love the juxtaposition. “What’s wrong with your crack?” “I don’t have cable. Amish.”
Basically, you have to rest it for a while.
don’t put pressure on it.
me: i can’t — i have to work out. i’m now obsessed. i’m down a whole size at least
and that’s really hard for me because my basal body temp is like 96. I don’t burn anything.
i was happy a couple of years ago when i almost died from a 104 fever and pneumonia because I lost ten pounds. hahahaha
sarahk: oh, good job!
Hahahahaha.
me: another juxtaposition — hahahaha
sarahk: hahaha
me: wer’e lame — i love us
sarahk: i love us too.
These conversations are hilarious. Thanks for sharing. Oh, and take care of your cracks, Ladies.
MM — I need to change my sidebar link for you. I will. But, you see, my crack HURTS.
The word “coccyx” is much funnier than “tail bone”. Though not much funnier than the one who’s experiencing the pain…
I tried praying for your healing, but not sure if the power of prayer works when I giggled after using the phrase “Tracey’s coccyx” (and God knows, quite literally, I wasn’t going to ask for “the healing of Tracey’s ass crack”).
Coccyx pain is always bad. I’ve yet to find an OTC painkiller that adequately deals with pain of the crack.
Oh, um, sorry about cussing.
MM, you have a new blog! Are you done over at the other blog?
Ok, I can’t get over my namedropping! Like, “Oh, lah-ti-dah, Andy Levy follows me, you know who that is, right, THE Andy Levy. It’s because I’m awesome. Lah-ti-dah.” What a LOSER NAMEDROPPER. I’m pretty sure he only follows me because I sometimes tweet my burns on Frank. But listen to me. I’m pretty sure the girl in that chat believes it’s impossible for her to be unfollowed by Levy.
Literally and figuratively, I can’t approach this topic in any way without getting into huge trouble. Move along, nothin’ ta see here…
JFH — Hahahahahahaha! I am howling just imagining you praying for the healing of my ass crack. I’m sorry. Hahahahahaha.
sarahk — You’re a drunken sailor. A potty-mouthed slattern. I mean, is this news???
NF — I understand but, well, darn.
Hahaha, JFH!
trace–no, EVERYBODY knows this about me. No surprises there.
I hear you Fly. There were so many paths to follow. I decided to focus on the area in which I had some practical experience. And then I decided to drop the whole refrigerator research bit and talk about the coccyx.
Cullen — The coccyx IS very important. It needs to be discussed more often in polite society. Dinner parties and such. Family reunions. Maybe talk about one’s coccyx size with gammie. Stuff like that.
I mean, why do people NOT talk about the coccyx?? Is there some taboo I am unaware of??
I think it’s important to note that coccyx means “cuckoo.”
Carry on.
So, you’re saying that the coccyx needs to be embraced and supported by a larger audience?
Hm. “Your Coccyx and You!” Dunno…. We have to overcome the high school health class connotation before the coccyx can move out of the shadows and into general usage.
You will all observe that I’m completely reneging on my “move along” stance.
NF — Hahahahahaha! My plan worked!!
Cullen — Yes. The coccyx must be embraced. It should not be neglected.
Theres that line in What’s Up Doc when Ryan O’Neal falls on his behind, screams in pain, and Barbra Streisand rushes to his aid.
“What is it?? Your coccyx? I hope it’s not your coccyx.”
sheila — Hahahahaha. I need to see that movie again. I mean, since it takes the coccyx so seriously.