Good thing he’s sexy because Bruno, The Voice in My Head, is sometimes a straight-up dummypants, yo.
Alas, it’s true.
Look, Bruno. I speak very clearly. I do. I have been told so. As a compliment AND an insult. When you’re an actress, you learn quickly that mush mouth ain’t gonna get you anywhere. Ditto with singing. Or …. yeah, good Lord, being a hostess on a shopping channel – (Hahahahaha. I can’t even write that without starting to laugh. I promise to tell the story(ies) some day.) Or, you know, role-playing courtroom transcripts for court reporting students at 225+ wpm.
You cannot have a mush mouth in any of these scenarios. And I don’t.
But today, when I read, “Now is the best time to launch some dreams,” Bruno, you heard, “Now is the best time to launch some tureens.”
Later, when I read, “Everyone who creates does so from the sacramental center” — and even though I gagged and thought it was New Age twaddle, I read it clearly — still, Bruno, you heard, “Everyone who creates does so from the Sacramento Center.”
Wow. Good thoughts, you know? Deep, deep stuff. Think about it, pippa. Breathe deep and ponder the wisdom of Bruno.
Then get out your butts out there, catch a flight to Sacramento, and LAUNCH SOME TUREENS!
Btw, I now declare Tureen Launching an official game of The Sudden Yurt Commune.
Oh, thank you for this. Between this and Twiright, I’m almost 100% better.
BTW, shopping channel! !!! This gives me great joy.
sarahk — Shopping channel.
Oh, you have NO idea.
Twiright ….
Hey, one of my favorite people, Mike Rowe, started on a shopping channel. I wonder if Tureen Launching could be one of his Dirty Jobs – sounds like one.
I’m kinda shocked Bruno knows “Sacramento.” Tureen-launching would be a great attraction at an estate sale or something, don’t you think?
Brian — Yeah, um, I kind of ended on a shopping channel.
Kate P — Bruno knows a lot, really. It’s the little words that mess him up. “The,” “a” — if you don’t say those differently, etc. I mean, “eschatological” gives him no problem, but the difference between “on” and “and” is sometimes too much for him to bear.
Don’t the Sacramento Tureens play in the NBA?
It occurred to me that you probably also have really good inflection in your speaking, and I’m guessing that Bruno does better with monotone speech. He can’t hear the “little words” if they’re deemphasized, maybe?