snint #1

“SNINT” is a brief in machine steno for the word “incident.” Somehow, I’ve always had a soft spot for that brief and still sometimes use it as if it’s English. Maybe it’s because it’s close to snit or something. Maybe it’s because I’m a loon. But …. nah. It’s empirically good. I think that’s what it is. Really. Give it a try. Say it: Snint. Snint. Snnnint.

S’nice, isn’t it?

Anyhoo.

This last week or so at Boheme positively bubbled over with unpleasant snints. And I need to purge the memory of these wretched snints by dumping them on you, thereby lessening my burden. Okay? Great.

SNINT #1:

A busy morning. I’m by myself. All my ceramic plates are being used — and I don’t really have that many. Man comes in, orders a coffee and a danish on a plate. I tell him, “I’m sorry. All my plates are being used. Can I put it in a bag for you? He scowls while I go get his coffee. When I turn back to him, he’s holding a dirty plate, sticky and lumpy from a previous danish, obviously. “Well, uhm, I found this in that bus tub. Couldn’t you just wash it for me?”

Washing plates involves leaving the area and going to the back, so I usually don’t do it when I’m alone. Plus, uh, DUDE, you’re sticking a dirty plate in my face! Are you so offended at the prospect of a paper bag that you’d rather fondle someone else’s dirty plate and wait while I wash it off for you? And, also …. well, what is your problem???

I just stare at him.

“Couldn’t you just wash it?” he repeats.

I look down at the gooey mess and I literally don’t know what to say. Some days, I have no fight in me; other days, watch out. This day I just sigh and mutter, “Just a minute.” I disappear around the corner and wash his pissy plate — taking my time, in a nice, passive-aggressive way. I resist the urge to wipe a little spit on there while I dry it.

4 Replies to “snint #1”

  1. I like the word, too.

    I probably would have told the dude, “Sorry, but health regulations prevent me from washing a dirty dish and then handling food afterwards. You may have your danish OR your clean dish but not both.”

    Honestly, I don’t GET the entitled mentality that some of your customers have.

  2. The entitled mentality is everywhere. I work in a different industry – but it’s still a “service” industry, which basically seems to mean that people feel they can be completely hideous to those who are performing some sort of “service” for them. Whether it’s providing coffee and a danish, or whatever – too many people out there treat other people horribly. It’s exhausting to deal with. I really sympathize. Too many snit-sninters out there.

  3. I love that word! SNINT. Dr. Seuss would weep for joy at that word. It can be a noun, a verb, an adjective (how sninty!)… The person causing the snint can also be a snint, or maybe a sninter.

    I heart “SNINT.”

    I don’t heart your particular snint, however. What’s wrong with using the flattened bag as a plate? What a snint.

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