Well, it was a long and winding road for Simon Cowell at Wimbledon today as bang bang Roddick’s silver hammer came down upon his head.
(Uhm … I hate myself right now.)
Still, though:
THE BEATLES (Andy Roddick, USA)
after much delay, FINALLY HELTERED-SKELTERED OVER
SIMON COWELL (Paul-Henri Mathieu, FRA)
Meanwhile, back in the locker room with a different chick reporter from the one scared off by The Sex Pistols yesterday, Cowell struggled out of his tennis whites and into the kind of tight black T-shirt generally frowned upon by The All-England Tennis Club and robust heterosexuals everywhere, all whilst declaring, “Well, I don’t know why they keep getting put through to the next round; I mean, they’re really not very good, but it seems they’re POPular with the public, people keep voting for them, but, really, the whole thing is comPLETELY beyond me. I simply don’t get it.”
When the intrepid chick reporter asked, “Uhm, Mr. Cowell, what are you talking about?” Mr. Cowell smoothed down his chest hair and replied tersely, “Well, The Beatles, of COURSE.”
“The Beatles?”
“Yes.”
“Uhm, Mr. Cowell, sir. Do you even know where you are? This is Wimbledon. I asked you about Andy Roddick.”
“Who??”
“Andy Roddick.”
“What?? What are you talking about?? This is TOtally biZARRE. Look, you have very nice legs, but I don’t think you have the SLIGHTest idea how to conduct an interview. Now run along and find Poorla. I need more of those little pills she has. And if you can’t find her, get Churchill. Off you go.”
BOOO-BYE, SIMON!
OHHHH, TRACEY, THIS IS TOO MUCH! YOU’RE TOO FUNNY! And while I’m incredibly sad to see Simon go, I’m also happy for the Beatles, because they would have been my 2nd choice after Harry Potter if I’d thought about it for any lengthy period of time. Oh, and Simon will be hanging around taunting players. Just so you know.
Yes, sarah! I’m AM kinda hoping that Simon will show up on mountaineer musings — Wimbledon guest appearance or something. 😉