and in between there was

Oh, and in between all our busy raging, how did we even find time for:

Boheme and its water heater leak and espresso machine leak and water line leak and screwed-up coffee delivery and “oh, we brought you the wrong brewer, sorry” episode and opening day which was supposed to be the 1st and then today, but certainly won’t be now and, of course, all the people coming by in the midst of the horror, saying, “When? When? When? When? When???”

LOOK.

I am a little behind schedule. Days, really — not weeks, not months, just DAYS — behind schedule, Demandos.

PLEASE CALM DOWN.

we were very busy this weekend!

I mean, look:

I raged about ‘Nilla Wafers:

“I hate how they really really need you to know they’re ‘Nilla.”

He raged about, uhm, the homeless:

“I won’t have any smelly ass bums on my patio screaming at the wind!”

We raged against Cameron Diaz:

“I really do NOT like her. I don’t know why.”

“It’s because she just seems kinda diseased.”

I raged against myself:

“I’m like the Canadian coin of people — totally completely useless!”

whatcha’ doin’?

Me? I’m just sittin’ around, a sleep-deprived nutter, creating an elaborate pantomine to “Rocky Mountain High” and acting it out for MB.

The best part, really, if I do say so myself, is when I sing

Rocky Mountain High, Colorad-ohhh

and I make a “C” with my hand and then an “O” on ohhhh.

C-O, Colorado. Sheer genius. Don’t be jealous, now. It’s a gift.

But all did not go swimmingly. If I’m being honest, I did hurt myself when I went all crazy and tried to touch the sun.

Although my hobo joe character on the “I know he’d be a poorer man if he never saw an eagle fly” lyric was truly poignant and the disfiguring burns were quickly forgotten in the sheer swelling joy of that seeing that damn eagle fly.

I wonder: Am I asleep now? Maybe I’m stressed?

I mean, I sent an email out yesterday that was more about persimmons than anything else.

so, I’m probably going to jail

Okay, peeps. And especially Lisa.

So I got this jury summons about a month or so ago and promptly forgot about it. Everything is just so insane right now, it completely slipped my mind. Actually, it didn’t even register with me. It wasn’t even in my mind long enough to slip out of it.

So … I ran across it yesterday and went ACK! There was a form I was supposed to send back within 5 days of receiving the summons. So clearly, I didn’t. Because of the non-registration in my brain, you see. This is for federal court. Grand Jury or somesuch. Turns out, my jury service is supposed to last for a WHOLE MONTH! You call in every day for a damn month and have to go down and sit in the courthouse for 5 whole days out of that time to see if you’re picked. And if you’re picked for a jury near the end of your service — guess what? — your service is extended!

Oh, and by the way, my jury service starts NEXT WEEK.

Boheme — my new business that I need to be present at, every day — opens NEXT WEEK.

Oh, and the topper: Job-related issues are no excuse. They will not accept them.

Totally different from Superior Court where you’re at least allowed some excuses.

Now, I have not responded, as I said. And the summons, with its 6-page instructions, clearly states that failure to appear will result in:

— A fine of $100 or

— Imprisonment for not more than 3 days (oh, that’s comforting — long enough to become someone’s bee-yotch, I’m sure!!) OR

BOTH!

So …..

In addition to my overall anxious sleeplessness about Boheme, I’m now totally freaked out about this. I can call, I suppose, and ask for a postponement, but I actually already did that in when I was summoned for this very same jury duty for the entire month of December and was going to be out of town for the holidays. I had no idea back then where my life would be just 2 1/2 months later.

What do I DO? Do I just ignore it and take my chances? I’ve done jury duty before, so I’m not a shirker, but I literally cannot do it now or any time soon. A postponement for a few months down the line won’t do me any good. Doing it now or doing it then would be bad for business, bad for my family, bad for our finances that are still in fragile recovery.

Ack. ACK!!

Advice, please. NOW!

Thank you.

Your potential jailbird friend,

Me

autumn

An article by Nick Tosches at Vanity Fair online details his obsession with discovering the exact location where this beautiful, popular desktop wallpaper, known as Autumn, was taken.

autumn.jpg

Breathtaking. I love that. And that he took all that time to hunt it down, too.

I have a queue, too!

Sheila inspired me to join the 21st century and sign up for Netflix, too! Got me a free two-week trial and got started on my queue. All this and a cellphone, too?! Thoroughly Modern Millie, I am, I am.

So this is it, so far — the queue — The Q!

(Sheila was kind and put imdb links on all of her queue movies. I have not. Draw your own conclusions.)

My first 30. Why only 30? Because, well, if you must know, I felt a massive movie gorge coming on where I would neverever leave that site and I had to stop. I’m supposed to be, oh, getting ready to open my damn coffeehouse. I am now some kind of Coffee Messiah in the neighborhood. Random people — strangers, even — who desperately miss their Beanhouse coffee and peeps have literally accosted me on the sidewalk or in the grocery store, pleading, “When? When?! When will you be open??” I ran into another one today. She asked and I told her next week and she started to CRY. Which is nice, but I probably coulda barfed all over her from the pressure of it all. It’s really okay to say, “Oh, great. I’m excited.” Please don’t cry about it. Please. Because then I’ll start crying — or barfing — and you’ll totally misunderstand, oh, believe me, WHY I’m standing there crying and barfing.

Which is just a little off point from what this is all about.

All righty.

Asterisk by films I’ve seen before but must see again:

* Das Boot — Yes, I moved Das Boot to the top spot, because I’m just in a Das Booty kind of place. Which really doesn’t look right typed out. Whatevs. It’s my Das Booty call. Deal with it.

Babel

For Your Consideration

Syriana

* Double Indemnity

The Searchers

The Grapes of Wrath — I can’t believe I’ve never seen this.

* Bringing Up Baby

* His Girl Friday

Only Angels Have Wings

Goodbye, Mr. Chips

* Jezebel

* Sunset Boulevard

Brief Encounter

Brokeback Mountain — I have a sneaking suspicion I’ll be watching this one alone.

Devil’s Playground

The Eyes of Tammy Faye

Mad Hot Ballroom

Tsotsi

The Bicycle Thief

Merry Christmas (Joyeux Noel)

* Diva

Amelie

* My Brilliant Career

* Heavenly Creatures

Vincent: Life and Death of Van Gogh

Norman Rockwell: An American Portrait

feelin’ bohemish

I feel guilty about my posting frequency these days and for the overall craptacular content I’ve been serving up here; however, I’m approaching the opening of Boheme next week. (Lord.) Plus, seems I’ve managed to tweak my back as well. So, what I am saying here? Probably: Feel very sorry for me in my invalid state but also — Stay tuned for spotty blogging and increased craptacularity!

(Which sounds like a medical issue, frankly …)

“loss of aroma”

(You know …. I really feel I could have told Mr. Schultz all of this a long time ago. However — and, believe me, I’m as baffled as you are here — I don’t seem to be in his confidence.)

By JANET ADAMY, The Wall Street Journal

In a blunt memo to executives, Starbucks Corp. Chairman Howard Schultz warned that the fast-growing chain may be commoditizing its brand and becoming more vulnerable to competition from other coffee shops and fast-food chains.

Mr. Schultz sent the memo to top Starbucks executives on Feb. 14. in an email with the subject line “The Commoditization of the Starbucks Experience.” It first appeared on the Web site starbucksgossip.com. A Starbucks spokeswoman confirmed the memo’s authenticity.

“Over the past ten years, in order to achieve the growth, development, and scale necessary to go from less than 1,000 stores to 13,000 stores and beyond, we have had to make a series of decisions that, in retrospect, have lead to the watering down of the Starbucks experience, and, what some might call the commoditization of our brand,” Mr. Schultz wrote in the memo.

“Many of these decisions were probably right at the time, and on their own merit would not have created the dilution of the experience; but in this case, the sum is much greater and, unfortunately, much more damaging than the individual pieces,” he wrote.

Mr. Schultz went on to write that when the company switched to automatic espresso machines – which are now in thousands of its stores – “we solved a major problem in terms of speed of service and efficiency,” he wrote. “At the same time, we overlooked the fact that we would remove much of the romance and theatre.” Starbucks used to have all its baristas pull espresso shots by hand.

That move “became even more damaging” because the new automatic machines “blocked the visual sight line the customer previously had to watch the drink being made, and for the intimate experience with the barista,” he wrote.

Mr. Schultz wrote that Starbucks switched to a “flavor locked packaging” for its coffees that eliminated the task of scooping fresh coffee from bins in stores and grinding it in front of customers. “We achieved fresh roasted bagged coffee, but at what cost?” Mr. Schultz wrote. “The loss of aroma — perhaps the most powerful non-verbal signal we had in our stores.”

Mr. Schultz also wrote that changes in the store design process had created “stores that no longer have the soul of the past … Some people even call our stores sterile, cookie cutter,” he wrote.

“While the current state of affairs for the most part is self induced, that has lead to competitors of all kinds, small and large coffee companies, fast food operators, and mom and pops, to position themselves in a way that creates awareness, trial and loyalty of people who previously have been Starbucks customers. This must be eradicated,” he wrote.”

“Let’s be smarter about how we are spending our time, money and resources,” Mr. Schultz wrote toward the end of the memo. “Let’s get back to the core.”

Starbucks spokeswoman Valerie O’Neil said the memo is “a reminder of how success is not an entitlement. It has to be earned every day,” she said. “We can’t embrace the status quo.”

oscars

So far …. almost one hour in …. a bit of a snoozer. Not one major award. Oh, wait. Okay. Here we go. Something. Alan Arkin just won for “Little Miss Sunshine.” Good. (As I wanted, thank you!) But why the lengthy close-up of his Oscar — which he put on the floor? Weird.

Ellen talking to the stars in the audience … painful.

Lots of dancing and choral groups and interpretive movement. Is this Cirque du Soleil?

************

1 hr. 5 minutes in.

LOWEST MOMENT so far: The PSA behind Melissa Etheridge while she sings her — really bad, actually — Oscar-nominated song about waking up or somesuch. The screen behind her was filled with helpful tips about how to stave off our looming global warming crisis. You know, things like “Stop farting,” and other inspirational ideas. My favorite: Pray that everyone has the strength to change. Oh, yes. Do. Let’s.

You knnnow, I was gonna blog the entire Oscars, but I have lost my will to go on. This is boring because I’M BORED because the Oscars are boring. That’s the circle of life right there, see? Or maybe more like the vicious circle. Or — I know! — maybe that there is Pan’s Labyrinth.

(Which I actually thought was Pam’s Labyrinth, you know, the story of a lost, bored, confused housewife or something. And then I started laughing about Pam’s Labyrinth and all the possibilities of Pam’s Labyrinth and then I couldn’t get past just the sound of it: Pam’s Labyrinth. Paaaaam’s Laaabyrinth. And then I just kept writing about it on my blog because I’m horribly sleep-deprived with the anxiety of a stupid-crazy business venture. All righty.)

This is now just stream-of-consciousness blogging, so may I please say that Helen Mirren looks gorgeous? Yes. I think I may.