the negotiator

bansheeb3mossm.jpg

BANSHEE BOY: So. Tee Tee. Ve meet agin.
ME: It seems we do.
BB: Vhat is dees offer you heef for me?
ME: Well, it’s like this, booboo. Your butt smells and you need a diaper change.
BB: Dis, I do not beleef.
ME: You’re 3 months old. Your sense of smell is underdeveloped.
BB: Vhat is counteroffer?
ME: What?? I don’t have one. You’re supposed to have one. That’s the offer: diaper change or rash.
BB: Is rash like cruddle kep on my head?
ME: Kind of, except it’s on your butt.
BB: Vell, den. We heef a deal.
ME: The elastic pants are coming off, bub.
BB: What feex you have for Polish sausage arms?
ME: That’s God’s job, kid.
BB: Mebbe I can negotiate with heem?
ME: Yeah. Good luck with that.
BB: You geef me much to tink about, Tee Tee.
ME: Great. I’m covering up your woowoo so you don’t pee on me.
BB: Vedy gud. Hokay. Dis is part vhere I scream and cry.
ME: Yeah, me too. (pause with screaming) Okay. All done.
BB: Gud. Until next time, Tee Tee.
ME: Yes, until next time, booboo.

15 Replies to “the negotiator”

  1. Your are funny. Thanks for the chuckles.

    I do hope that when he and Buttercup are hitched that you and Sarah get to do the toasts. I’d pay admission for that.

  2. Ha! He even looks as if he’s conducting a deal in the photo! I’d probably be hypnotized by the cute face and give him anything he wanted. (Before the diaper smell snapped me out of it, anyway.)

    If he figures out the sausage arms thing, ask him to pass along the info to me.

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