I live in my own little world

There are things I see ’round here on these Innernets — things I just don’t understand. I lack basic awareness, you see, of the world around me. I’m not cool. I’m not modern. Or in touch. Unless touchy counts. Not touchy-feely, because that’s icky. Just touchy. Also, I’m not hip. “Hip”? Do people say hip? No, Tracey, no, they do not, you sad little cow.

So, that being said or whined or whatever, will someone please tell me:

What is “teh”?

Why, just today, I saw ricki comment that something was “teh awesome!”

And, well, let me be honest. When I first saw “teh” many months ago, I thought it was maybe a typo for “the.” But I don’t know anymore. And it really doesn’t seem to fit here, does it? Do you say something is “the awesome”? Well, maybe you do. Which means I’m desperately behind the times. Not surprising, since I don’t even have basic cable. But then I thought, “Hm … maybe it’s a letter in the Hebrew alphabet,” You know, the letter teh. Not to offend my Jewish friends with my ignorance here. Sorry, Jesus and all. Plus, a swift, furtive Googling on the Hebrew alphabet proves one wrong on that score. Still, I don’t know. I really don’t know. As I said, I’m really not cool or modern or in touch or hip.

So what teh heck is teh?

And what did I just say??

Also, someone please enlighten me on:

“Clutch” — what is “clutch”? Because that same thing that ricki described as “teh awesome,” was later proclaimed to be “so clutch!” by one Sheila O’Malley

And these are my references for clutch:

a car thingy

“A clutch play”

“Evil clutches”

(Although, the phrase wasn’t “That is so clutches!” which almost sounds like it’s someone’s name and you’re saying something like “That is so Paris” or “That is so Britney.” You know: “That is so Clutches!” Which isn’t what it was at all and I digress, but maybe that’s what it should be, if you think about it, which I need to stop doing.)

Oh, and I also have this last reference for “clutch”:

“a brood of chickens”

But, then, I doubt if one would exclaim: “That is SO a brood of chickens!”

Although, I don’t know. I really do not.

So please help. Someone.

I would really like to be cool.

And modern.

“In touch.”

Even hip.

Mostly, I would really like to be “teh awesome” and “clutch.”

18 Replies to “I live in my own little world”

  1. “teh” is, best I can explain, making fun of people who can’t spell on the internets. “Teh” is the most common typo seen, I guess.

    “Clutch” must be some freakish Rhode Island lingo, I don’t know. East Coast people are weird.

  2. Is it too late for me to be clutch, then, sheila?

    Lisa — Okay. That sounds good.

    One of my friends tried several years ago to get “Puupuunuuuu!” going because there was a San Diego Charger named Something Pupunu and she thought it was cool to go “Puupuunuuuu!” When we would ask her what it meant, she’d say, “I don’t know. It doesn’t mean anything.” So it completely lacked any meaning or context. Which isn’t to say it wasn’t funny to hear her do it. The rest of us wanted no part of it, though, which made it even funnier.

  3. hahahahaha Yeah, kinda like Pantalone. LIke: you can count me out of that one, mkay?

    Oh, and tracey – you were BORN clutch!!

    I have no idea of the derivation of “clutch” – I always figured it had something to do with baseball – you know, being good under pressure – but i could be totally wrong about that.

  4. I use “teh” basically how Lisa said it, but with the overlayment of “this is how a really really enthusiastic 14 year old who is typing fast might mess up”

    basically a marker of youthful, “newbie” enthusiasm.

    Clutch – I kind of guessed it from context. I figured it was either East Coast slang or something all the cool kids said, and since I am neither cool nor a kid, I wouldn’t know it.

  5. ricki — yeah, I figured it meant “cool” or something, but I HAD to know exactly. Thank you, Sheila, for straightening it all out!

    Lisa — I loved her on that show! “Bitchcakes” is pretty darn awesome. Hmmmm ….

  6. I thought that “bitchcakes” is teh awesome.

    Truthfully, stuff like “teh” goes through a three-step process, best described in Futurama:

    Fry: what’s with the rings? Are they cool?
    Amy: NO! Rings are stupid. That’s why everyone wears them!
    Fry: Oh. I thought they looked cool.
    Man (overhearing): Eh – did that bloke say rings were cool?
    Amy: No… he said they were stupid.
    Man (grinning): COOL!

    In other words, it’s hip, then it’s not, then it’s ironically hip. And all of that is teh confusion as far as I’m concerned.

    Word.

  7. Thanks so much for asking this question! I have been wondering this myself, but I was not brave enough to ask. I thought I was the ONLY person on the internet who did not know what “teh” meant. I first thought it was a typo, but when I saw it repeatedly used, I knew I was just in the dark.

    I feel so much better knowing I wasn’t the only one, and finally knowing what it means!

    Oh, and I have to add “bitchcakes” to my daily vocabulary! Great word!

  8. sheila — Bitchcakes IS clutch!! But because of my love for cake — that must be it — I keep thinking about it in my head as if “bitchcakes” means something good, not that something/someone is nutso.

    “Bitchcakes” seems like “clutch” to me: As in “Jeff Bridges is so bitchcakes!”

    LISA! HELP! I’m messing it up already!!

    MM — HAhahahaha! You and me both. We are not cool. We are beyond cool which makes us cool-ER. Doesn’t it?

    NF (and ricki, too) — Okay, you guys. But why do you say “teh awesome”? Are you saying “THE awesome”? And if so, why? Clearly, I’m not smart enough for “teh”. And how do you pronounce it? Is it “tay” or “teh” like “eh” with a “t”? I mean, I may as well take off all the clothes here and be nakedly ignerrnt.

    Splain, please.

  9. I think “teh” is kind of like “pwned” (which is gamer-speak for “owned,” as in “I own you” meaning “I have beaten you.”) I don’t think there IS a correct pronunciation, though I hear it in my head as “teh”, short e, the h is aspirated.

    I don’t know about “teh awesome” – I figure saying something is “the” awesome means it’s even awesomer. More awesome, whatever. (Firefox is telling me “awesomer” isn’t a word).

    Most of this stuff I’m really not too bright about, I’m going merely on the context I’ve gotten from places I’ve seen it. Yes, I’m a poser – a hopelessly uncool superannuated girl who’s trying to sound hip and ironic.

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