Okay. Since I basically know every Bee Gees’ song ever, I’m going to actually do a breakdown of tonight’s performances.
Melinda — We love her. Singing “Love You Inside and Out.” Uhm, dear heart? Not great. Some of these Bee Gee songs are just meant to be sung falsetto. That’s all there is to it. I don’t know how else to explain it. You need to tread lightly with certian Bee Gees’ songs. Literally. They had this lush lightness from their combined falsettoes that just isn’t easily shaken or forgotten. So — full voice here, just …. didn’a work.
Blake — Singing “You Should Be Dancing.” Okay. Well, I do like your hair darker. So keep that. The beatboxing? Thought it was too much Mork from Ork. But that’s me. Na-a-A-a-A-nu-u-U-u-U Na-a-a-a-nuuu-U-u-U-u-U-u-UUU.
La Kisha — Singing “Stayin’ Alive.” Okay. Look. All you guys — you final four — should be picking other Bee Gees’ songs. Not such megahits. Barry Gibb — the dude can write a song, so there’s a lot to choose from. How ’bout “Words” or “Fanny” or “How Can you Mend a Broken Heart” or “Love Me, Please” or something else? Not these. Not these iconically FALSETTO songs sung full-throttle gospel choir voice. No. Nope. Sorry, babe.
Jordin — Singing “To Love Somebody.” Okay. This one has a chance. I’m so rooting for her in this. Waaaait for it. Ooooh. She mixed it up, riffed it a bit. It was good. Really good. That one worked. They give her the love, all three of ’em.
Just an aside here. A helpful list of songs not to pick, kiddos, because I think I can turn back time and make you change your minds:
Night Fever
Jive Talkin’
Tragedy
Nights on Broadway
Round 2
Melinda again — “How Can You Mend …” Okay. Now watch. She’ll nail it. This song will work. Betcha. And see? Great. Told ya. They love her on this one.
(Wow. You know, this is really a stellar review. I am on FIRE! Things like “Nope” and “Betcha” and “Told ya.” Don’t be stealing my quotes!)
Blake — Singing “This is Where I Came In.” Oh, Barry. I love you. Just sit there in those white pants forever, please, but I do not like this song. Maybe they’ll like his modern take. And his argyle sweater. And the omnipresent beatboxing. The whole thing was truly deeply weird-O. But I still like his hair.
Commercial break where I predict what La Kisha will sing: Ummm, she’ll do “Words.” Let’s see if I’m right.
I’m not. Drat.
La Kisha — Singing “Run to Me.” But she can do this one. I think. Okay. Uh. Seemed all right to me. Again, a heavier voice just doesn’t work on some of these. Mostly my problem with her is, well, I am always aware of her totally extreme boobins. The way they track the camera. Like the way The Mona Lisa tracks people who stand in front of her and it’s all eerie. And I say this as a woman with large boobins myself. However, there are boobins and then, there are BOOOOBins. You know? I know you know.
Hm. I sense yet another post getting slightly away from me.
Okay. So.
Jordin — Singing “A Woman in Love.” She’s gonna be amazing, I think. Let’s see. Listen, shall we? She’s had some crackles here and there and I’m not sure — uhm, is she pitchy? Still, it’s dramatic in a sort of “Oh, Lord, what’s gonna happen?” sort of way. A little out of her range, I think. Beautiful dress. She so purty. Randy said, “Pitchy.” Told ya. Poorla said, “You’re beautiful.” Told ya. She’s had the best night, definitely.
Okay, well, I’m done here, thankfully, and really …. “it’s only words and words are all I have … to fill a blank blog paaaage!”
