help me!

Peeps …. I need names, names, give me names!! Give me your ideas for the name of the new coffeehouse. MB and I have gotten positively punchy about the whole thing. Our ideas just get dumber and dumber. At least I think. I literally can’t tell anymore. The following is what happened over margaritas the other night when multiple fleeting obsessions came crashing together. First, we were completely undone by the word “bean.” It became the best word ever, the only word that mattered in the whole wide history of words. Other words existed only to enhance the word “bean”; they had no other purpose. Have I mentioned the margaritas?

Okay, see what I mean here?

beany goodman

I dream of beannie

beany hill — okay, I’m sorry. I actually like this one. See? I need HELP!!!

bean franklin

(Then you can plainly see that we had a whole famous “Ben” and “Jean” thing going, too. We became hysterical over our own stupidity. Did I mention margaritas were involved? Finally, once we’d become nothing more than monkeys, it simply became the word “bean” inserted in the place of any noun in any movie, EVER. Back and forth, back and forth we went, like this:)

gunga bean

the silence of the beans

the elephant bean

the beans of navarone

bean hur — with the tag line, “Truly, this bean was the Son of God.” We were in screaming hysterics over this one. It was “The One.” We were going to die right then with our last gasping words to each other being: “Truly, this bean was the Son of God!” And right then, we were okay with that.

Clearly, we cannot be trusted here. Oh, did I forget to mention about the margaritas?

Save us. Right NOW.

If you give us a name that we end up using, I will send you …. beans! Hahahahaha!

Seriously, I will. I’m not kidding. I have to decide probably by Thursday.

I breathlessly await your clear-eyed brilliance.

36 Replies to “help me!”

  1. I am not nearly as clever as the rest of your readers, so…

    all I can think of is The Bean Counter (but then of course it would have to HAVE a counter or it would just be stupid).

    Forgive me…I am an accountant, and the whole Bean Counter thing…well, I just couldn’t HELP myself.

    Seriously…naming something like that is HARD. I wish you luck!

  2. The first thing I thought of, between your “Beany Hill” and “Casablanca,” is “Hill of Beans.”

    I like Shannon’s. Where are the computer people making “java programming” jokes?

    Where I live the coffeehouse name I liked was “Brew Ha Ha” but it became something dumb like “Cream and Sugar” (eh).

    I’m just going to put some more crazy ones out and hopefully that will inspire someone to do better.
    “The Mean Bean”
    “Let It Bean”
    “Caffeine Nation”
    “The Kona Cove”
    (Heh, if you had a coffee drink you could call it “The Fatted Caf”!)

    “Bean Me Up, Scotty!” 🙂

  3. See, I wasn’t warmed up yet–I meant, “If you had a coffee drink WITH CREAM IN IT you could call it ‘The Fatted Caf’!”

  4. Oh, way cool, Tracey! Does it have to have “bean” in it?

    How about “the buzz”?

    I saw a Christian coffee house called “Holy Grounds”, I love that!

    Best wishes on your new venture, Tracey! You’ll do awesome!

  5. Here’s a few non coffee related names:

    Shindig
    Hullabaloo’s
    Banshee’s Dream House – or anything using the name Banshee ’cause I love that word, its got zest.

  6. Personally, I like I Dream of Beannie.

    And Beany Hill.

    (and I laughed at the Bean Hur bit. And no, no margaritas were involved).

    I dunno. Maybe I’m just weird but I like dumb puns.

    I’d suggest “Full of Beans” but it’s probably been done.

  7. Sue Bob — Well, that explanation is coming soon. 😉

    You guys, I swear, if one more gay guy asks me what the name will be, I think I’m gonna look him straight in the eye and say, dead serious, “Hm. How ’bout Beanis Envy?”

  8. Lyn — I’m so sorry. My blog always puts your comments on the potential spam page. I don’t know why and I don’t know how to fix it!

    And, no, it doesn’t have to have the word “bean.” We were just a little out of our minds.

  9. This one’s hard because I think the name of a local place should have a local connection. Not knowing where you are and what the specific neighborhood is like makes it seem too generic, “this could be anywhere” name. the best coffee house name I know in our area is a place called Common Grounds. I don’t actually like the shop but the name is cool. I worked for a brief time (as a barista) at a place called Aroma’s Market. Aroma is a good word. Lastly, I think something with your name in it is always good. Tracey’s Room? Tracy’s Nook?

  10. “Cool Beans”? (sorry couldn’t help it)
    How ’bout… “The Bean Pale”? Nah… That’s lame too.

    I’d steer away from anything too overtly Christian like “Holy Grounds” (although I do love that). It’s just that I’ve seen so many people do the whole in-your-face-Christian-business thing. It always blows up in their face. Nice name for a coffeehouse in a worship building, though.

    How about “IV Drip”? Or just “The Drip”?

  11. Oh – that’s right, you also want suggestions!

    “The Bada-Bean”
    “Espresso Love” (see how many Dire Straits fans there are in your town!)
    “The Ground and the Brew’ry”
    “NOT Run By Insane People”
    “Caffeine, the Impossible Bean” (or, “Man of La Mocha”)
    “Au Lait, No Wait”
    “Two Live Brew”
    “Die Kaffehaus”

    Man, this is tough – so many people have good ones!

  12. Common Grounds is excellent. Uncommon Grounds is a good rip off name.

    Howsabout:
    A Cup Above
    Automatic Drip For the People (OK, that’s a joke)
    Quite a Grind

    I can’t think today.

  13. Bump ‘n’ Grind–nah, that’s just wrong.
    What about “Spoons & Straws”?

    If a person’s name is good to have in it, call it something like “Esther Mae’s Corner Cafe”; you could enjoy all the people coming in to ask who “Esther Mae” is. Find a weird portrait of a female at one of those convention-center “starving artist” art sales (do they have those on the West Coast?) and hang it on the wall with an “Esther Mae” plaque. That’s it: The Legend of Esther Mae. I must be sleep deprived.

  14. First, Kate: /convention-center “starving artist” art sales (do they have those on the West Coast)/

    I cannot even explain why this is making me howl. I see those convention center paintings in my head and I cannot stop laughing. “Any painting, 79 dollars!!”

    You guys are all killing me here, frankly. It’s like I can literally FEEL your faraway minds spinning with activity. Such good sports you all are!

    MB and I still lose it over “Truly, this bean was the Son of God.” Didn’t John Wayne actually say that line in the movie?? So I hear John Wayne’s voice when I say that.

    We have both become one with stupidity.

    “NOT Run by Insane People” has a nice ring to it. 😉

    We also came up with “Surly’s,” with the tag line of:

    Whatchoo lookin’ at??

    If this helps, remember, everyone, I live in the gay neighborhood of town. I’m already getting R-rated suggestions for the name. Oh, wait! Lemme look and see if I can find the list that one of the gay guys gave me the other day. If I find it, I’ll scan it and post.

  15. Hm. Wait. That sounds wrong. The list isn’t THAT bad.
    I didn’t mean to make it sound like, “Hey, lemme go get that p-o-r-n-ographic list that guy gave me, woo hoo!”

    That word only gets spelled out on this blog, ya spammers.

  16. …tracey…that is so weird about my name going to the spam list.

    I have my wp set so that new posters go to moderation, but once they have been approved, they show up automatically. I don’t know/remember how I did it, but it keeps all the spam from showing up, and I just go to moderating panel and mark all as spam except for the legit posts.

  17. if you were doing a combo coffee/poetry house, you could do “Bean There, Donne That”. hahahahahahaha. sorry. sorry. ok. i have to think on this. it might be all i can think on as i drift off to sleep tonight. please promise me that whatever you do, you’ll name it punny. PLEASE, NAME IT PUNNY!

  18. sarah, I don’t know if I can promise that! 😉

    I’m really trying to consider the neighborhood, too, the kinds of customers I’m likely to have, what they’re like, what they might respond to, you know? There aren’t too many punny-named businesses in the area.

    But it’s fun to consider — I mean, I’m still hung up on beany hill and bean hur, for God’s sake. Uhm, margaritas?

    Don’t lose sleep over it; you need your rest!

  19. An off-subject story I heard regarding John Wayne’s role in that movie. I’d like to think the story is true but it probably isn’t since it deviates from the standard Gospel line which Tracey correctly cited.

    Wayne delivers the line, “We’ve killed the son of God” too flatly, the director yells “Cut!” and tells him to put more awe in his voice when he says it, so on the next take Big Duke says “Aw, we’ve killed the son of God.”

  20. The Human Bean
    McBean’s (are you in an Irish type city?)
    Are you in Africa or near the UN? Coffee Anan’s
    Pale Has Beans
    or just Has Beans
    Perk’n’Beans

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