To all Beanhouse kooks and beyond …..
— First, on word usage: The word is “evidently” not “evitably.”
— It’s really not necessary to compliment your Certified Barista on using a “25-cent” word like “empirically.” She actually appraises it at much less. Frankly, she appraises you at much less, too, Captain Condescendo.
— It’s also not necessary to compliment your Certified Barista by telling her that she looks like Paul McCartney or Bonnie Raitt or tired. Really.
— For the love of GOD, do NOT get all snippy with her after she’s refilled your two iced coffees — touched your precious plastic cups — by saying, “Well, which cup is WHICH? My friend out there has a herpes sore on his lip and I need to know which is WHICH!!” Do not expect an answer in the face of such unspeakable horror. Do not even bring your horrible little Herpes Cup anywhere near her. She will sob and have night terrors. Your herpes is your problem. You are god-awful gross and horrid.
— Giant red rouge circles? If you’re a clown, yes. If you’re a human, no. Please do not stand anywhere near your Certified Barista sporting this look. She will sob and have night terrors.
— Also, don’t flounce up to your Certified Barista after she’s made you the perfect cappuccino with the most gorgeous foam rolling your eyes and demanding, “Uhm, so do I get a LID??” when they are FIVE feet behind you on the condiment stand if you’d bother to look around. Please go to hell — no, better yet, Starbucks. That’s worse.
— Additionally, please don’t purchase your $1.50 cup of coffee with a $100 bill and then insist you’ve been short-changed and then insist it be counted — three times — until you finally see that, yes, that’s 98.50 in your crisp little pile. And by all means, please DON’T leave any teensy bit of that wad of cash as a tip for anyone. I mean, don’t put yourself out or anything. Evitably, you have more important things to do.
— And to Cross-Dressing Christine: Hon, you have some serious cankles. Those dresses just aren’t working for you. How ’bout some nice long slacks and a pretty pair of pumps?
— And just generally, world, the phrase is “thank you,” not “unhhuhnnnh.”
Unhhhuhhhnnhh for listening.
ha!
evitably, you encounter some characters at that there job of yours.
one of my co-workers says “accrost” (i don’t even know how to spell that) as in “If you say that one more time, I think I will slap you accrost your face.”
And that’s why I work at SBs. For the most part, I just have to deal with the medical freaks from the hospital across the street.
Kooks, indeed.
Add “supposebly” to the mix and I’d need a double shot, stat!
Amanda Sue – my yoga instructor always said “acrost” too. “take your right arm acrost your body, wind it around your waist three times and then grab your pinky toe”. Or something like that.