For your email! Subject: optimism wetsuit
I was dismayed, however, that your missive contained absolutely NO information on how someone like me, a woman trapped in a ropeless well of non-optimism, might procure this useful-sounding garment. Someone like me, a woman bushwacking her way through a dense jungle of non-optimism, could truly use this article that you chose merely to hint at. For someone advertising an item as happy and hopeful as an “optimism wetsuit,” this seems needlessly cruel.
Ethan, you disappoint me. I don’t think you know what optimism is.
And be careful. Those optimism wetsuits can cause some nasty chafing.