What do you think of this idea? Could you do it? Will you do it? Or even a part of it?
She’s taking some flak for it, you know, a bit of “so what’s the point?” but I really like her heart about it, her desire to be changed herself. Which is nothing, if not a point.
If I’m honest, I know I could not do it; not 30 days. I wonder if I could do any part of it, though.
So is there something noble about suffering for the sake of suffering? I don’t think so. If it would change the world, or even oneself, for the better, fine, but that won’t happen in this case even if she and her family can hold out for the entire 30 days. The opposite absurdity was when my generation, as children, were told to clean our dinner plates because “there are children starving in China”–as if our getting fuller would somehow make their hunger less acute. I feel very fortunate, but refuse to feel guilty, about having been born into a society of prosperity and opportunity.
/If it would change the world, or even oneself, for the better, fine, but that won’t happen in this case even if she and her family can hold out for the entire 30 days./
Dave — How can you state with such certainty that there will be no change from this exercise? That’s stunning to me. Did you read her responses to some of the critiques she’s receiving, such as yours? She cares a great deal about being changed herself, as I’ve already said. The money they’re saving this month as a family is going to World Vision. I think these things have value; one has spiritual value, the other has actual monetary value to someone other than herself and her family. Why should we scoff at someone willing to give where perhaps others are not?
It seems to me that your analogy here is not apt. I agree that the old cliche we’ve all heard — “eat, because there are starving kids in China” — never made any sense. Basically, “Consume because other people have nothing to comsume” IS a nonsensical, pointless notion. But that’s not what she’s doing. It’s the opposite, actually. She’s NOT consuming for the partial purpose of entering another’s suffering. And no, it’s not the same. She’s choosing where others don’t get to choose, but she doesn’t sound like a martyr to me in the least.
And I don’t hear her trying to make anyone feel guilty. It’s something she’s attempting and she’s inviting others to join in …. or not.
I applaud her, actually. Who knows what she may learn this month by being willing to consider, to enter into, the needs and the hardships of others, even in some small, imperfect way?
And I think Tonia (the poster) said it best herself in the comments section to a dissenting commenter:
Each of us must start somewhere. May I humbly ask for your patience and grace as I learn about my addictions to materialism – as I seek to understand my brothers and sisters around the world, and the great needs they have? And may I please ask your patience for those who choose to join me?
Perhaps this is NOT the best way to learn these lessons, I don’t know. But I know that this is not about alleviating guilt. This is about making an attempt to shut out the clutter and really hear God’s voice on these issues. Please remember that none of us knows the real lives of the people we meet online. You can’t possibly know what anyone here has or hasn’t done to give and serve the needy and I would ask you to please refrain from accusing others of imagined offenses.
I agree with you that we must do more than just create sentimental feelings toward the poor. Many of the people here have indicated that they would like to give the money they save to a charity. I think that’s a marvelous idea – but I don’t think the fast is invalid without it. Some exercises are good for the spirit. Walking six miles in the shoes of my African sister gives me a heart of compassion for her and reminds me the next time I complain of the work to be done that I should not be complaining at all. During my walk I will pray for those women and all those in similar needs – and THAT is perhaps the most important contribution of all.
I don’t know if I could do it for a whole 30 days. But it would be good to challenge myself to go without certain things that seem so important in the daily routine. God has been working on my heart to just simply let go of all the things that I have held onto so tightly in the past. It started with my crafty/sewing stuff and coffee. To not need these things is good. And it surprised me how freeing it felt to not need them.
I think it’s truly insprired.
What a wonderful gift she’s giving to her children…
But there are poor in this counry too. Perhaps she should add a day of waiting in line, like the poor in this country do for services, assistance, day labor…
I know 98% of the families that visit our local emergency fund/food pantry have two working adults. They work and still can’t get by. How hard is that?
I applaud her and what she’s doing. If she can get more people to follow her and participate, then more power to her. It’s what they used to call consciousness raising. And it’s good.
I think it’s great. Why not? I also think that becoming aware of your own wasteful-ness – be it with food, or with TIME – is awesome. I’m no fan of TV Turnoff week because I think you should ALWAYS have a consciousness of how much time you should be spending with that dern machine. I love TV – but I limit how much I watch it on purpose. But I think the impulse behind TV Turnoff week is good – let’s look at how we live our lives. Let’s not just go along with the flow, let’s really examine what we do, and what we don’t need to do. All of that stuff – to just help kickstart you into awareness I think is great.
I also think knee-jerk “what good will that do” criticism of stuff like this is part of what’s wrong with the world today. Apathy runs rampant. Also – there’s a kind of scorn of earnest-ness. Or – trying to make a difference in your own life. Seriously. If every single person on the earth said, ‘What good will that do?” then we’d have no progress.
I’ll be interested to hear her journey.
Missy-
That’s my volunteer job, too!
We should talk, share experiences.
I’m with red – “It matters to this one” is not a bad motto. Who knows what action will be the tipping point into a better world? Sure would hate to be the one that missed being that.
I don’t see why anyone should CARE if someone is choosing to do this. Good on the people who do. And as she pointed out – the money they save IS being put to good use.
I’ve tried similar things – I have not lasted 30 days, or I’ve limited spending in a very limited part of my life. After the tsunami and again after Hurricane Katrina I did it, partly as a way of putting aside extra money to send to Mercy Corps or the Salvation Army.
(Honestly, with the exception of a few “blind spots” like books, I really dont’ consume all that much. I’m not a latte-buyer or a big eater-outer.)
I think the reason for the negative response though is that everyone’s had the experience of someone who does this kind of thing not as a “I’m doing this to learn a spiritual lesson” but as a “this is something I can lord over you to prove my moral superiority.” (Or rather: it doesn’t start OUT that way but some people give into the temptation to set themselves apart as paragons). I dislike that and I cringe when people do it. (There is someone I know, whom I care about very much otherwise, who does the whole “look how morally superior I am because of x y and z” when x y and z are not always things practical or even doable for others.)
I do take issue with the people who say “don’t shop at Wal-Mart” (usually for political reasons). My other choice then, really, would be to drive an hour’s roundtrip to the next nearest city where there’s a Krogers. Or buy milk at $5 a gallon at a gas station. Sometimes the kind of “everyday activism” that people in the big cities promote would mean those of us in “flyover country” would have to do a BIGGER harm (and I consider wasting an hour of my time, burning all that extra gas, and creating whatever pollution it creates) is a bigger harm than having part of my paycheck go to the Wal-Mart.
Good, genuine, sincere, thoughtful responses. (Tracey’s is the very, very rare blog in which the host, and her readers, can disagree without being disagreeable, and without name-calling. Thank you all.) I’m not quite ready to “eat crow” on this one yet, but I’m thinking about it.
“Who knows what action will be the tipping point into a better world? Sure would hate to be the one that missed being that.”
Wow. Well said.
ricki – yeah, good points!
But I also think, too (and this is just an observation – from other areas in life) – that sometimes when people say they’re going to do projects like this, or whatever – some people interpret it as “I will lord over you with my superiority” – when it actually is not! They’re just making their OWN choice – and for whatever reason, people have this defensive response to it.
This is not a perfect analogy but I have also noticed it on parenting blogs (I refuse to say “mommy blogs”). One woman will say, “I’m not breastfeeding my baby, because of such and such a reason – so I’m doing formula” – and everyone in the comments who maybe DO breastfeed interprets her flat statement from her own life as: “I am right. You are all wrong. You sholud all act like I do or you are terrible parents.”
This happens All. the freakin’ TIME on those blogs.
“I force my kids to take a nap.” “WELL, I DON’T AND I REALLY RESENT YOU TELLING ME THAT I SHOULD! I WAS FORCED TO TAKE NAPS AS A KID AND IT SCARRED ME FOR LIFE.” “Uhm … I’m just telling you what I am doing. I didn’t say that you should or that you are a bad parent …”
Etc. It goes on and on.
So I think a lot of people respond to personal lifestyle statements like that with interpretations and projections of their own. I mean, we all do that. If someone says to me, “Only when you are married do you REALLY understand the joy of life” (and people say crap like that all the time) – I’m gonna have a kneejerk bad response to that, because I take it as the insult that it actually is. I do try to hold myself back, though – because a lot of times people say thoughtless things like that and don’t mean any harm by it.
But we all have prejudices, biases, etc – based on our own opinions and life experiences. It’s when it gets too knee-jerk that alarm bells go off for me. (That’s not directed at you at all, Dave 🙂 – more at some of the comments over on her site.)
I think the reason for the negative response though is that everyone’s had the experience of someone who does this kind of thing not as a “I’m doing this to learn a spiritual lesson†but as a “this is something I can lord over you to prove my moral superiority.â€
I’m sure there are people who think that way, but I think the far more accurate reason for the negative response is that the critic knows that he/she is too materialistic, and that the poster is correct. But instead of making the effort, it’s much easier to criticize. I know that’s my first (sinful) instinct.
I wish her well, but I doubt an entire family can hold out. I know they can’t relying on their own strength.
Testing…
My first response to these things is usually somewhat negative. Partially because I do interpret their motives as being self-serving rather than self-awakening, but mainly because I’ve been on the receiving end of my wife “having a reveltaion” and suddenly the entire family has to go along with some wacky idea.
I’ve lived a lot longer than 30 days on very little in some of the worst places on Earth. I know very well how good I have it. But I do have a strong sense of charity beginning at home and I have a long way to go to fulfill those needs.
Tracey,
thanks for the link and the kind comments.
I do understand that by making my personal fast public I have opened myself up to scrutiny and criticism. I admit some things have surprised me, but overall, it has been very helpful to learn other people’s perspectives. There is often at least a grain of truth in criticism.
I can assure you, though, I have no intention of “lording” anything over anyone! I can’t keep track of my own sins…let alone anyone else’s. *grin* Besides, what other people do with their money is between them and God. I won’t stop sharing my passion and my journey, but I hold nothing against others who don’t share my convictions.
I do have to thank rev-ed for the challenge:
“I wish her well, but I doubt an entire family can hold out.”
~warm smile~
You may be right – but I am very stubborn! We are giving it our best shot (and relying on God’s help.)
Making it the whole 30 days isn’t really the point though…for me it’s about changing something inside me: this false need for material comfort.
Thank you all for your thoughtful comments.
May God bless,
Tonia
Wow, y’all! I go away for a few (well, several) hours and LOOK! I love these comments, really.
And Dave, I didn’t mean to sound so hard on you. I went back and read it and it’s a bit … harsh, which can tend to be the unfiltered “me.” So I do apologize for my tone.
I guess I was just so struck by Tonia’s tone, the *way* with which she expressed herself, the way she answered her critics. I could sense her heart in all this and to me, it never once sounded self-serving. Of course, there are people who do these things for “lookamee!” reasons, but I really do not get that sense from her at all.
It would have been very easy for her to say nothing until *after* the fact when she could whip out some real “lookamee!” language. You know, focusing on the thing after the fact, maybe embellishing it or calling attention to some newly acquired super-spirituality. All after the fact. But she’s not doing that. She’s putting it out there, risking all this criticism before Day One even arrives. She’s willing to share the journey, the ups and downs that will likely occur, be open with her defenders anc critics alike.
I admire it. I admire you, Tonia, for this, for challenging us out of our complacency. Because whether we attempt it or part of it or NOT, we are thinking and considering your choice. We are measuring ourselves. We are shaking our own souls. And that is never bad.
Tonia, you go, girl. I’ll be keeping an eye out on you and yours.
tracey, I started to comment here, and ended up writing a post about it instead.
http://rootheday.typepad.com/my_weblog/2006/09/when_i_was_in_m.html
Thanks for the thought food.
We did this last year for Lent, actually. Miserable, but only for the first week or so. It’s actually not as hard as you might think.