complete the thought

Um, a meme I found somewhere.

Complete the Thought:

Never again in my life: will I chase after a mama moose and her baby like I did one time in Montana. I am NOT Timothy Treadwell! I swear ….

When I was five: Hedy Hanson was my very best friend.

High School was: very icky.

I will never forget: when my dad said this to me.

I once met: Mark Morris, darling of the modern dance world. He choreographed a show I did in Seattle. He drank beer while working, had a pudgy belly and frequent tantrums and called me “baby.” I kinda thought he was insufferable, frankly. Sorry, modern dance world.

There’s this girl I know who: won’t eat ANY food that is white and creamy. She freaked out when she started breastfeeding.

By noon I’m usually: hungry.

Last night I: made Parmesan cheese biscuits. I thought they turned out “eh.”

Next time I go to church: it won’t be at the church of the worst person I’ve
ever known.

What worries me most: too many things right now.

When I turn my head right, I see: my teeny-weeny patio.

When I turn my head left, I see: my fireplace. See it??

You know I’m lying when: lie? Why, I never lie.

If I was a character written by Shakespeare, I’d be: Hmm … maybe Beatrice. Should I be Rosalind? Oh, I don’t know!

By this time, next year: I’ll be a year older.

A better name for me would be: Whitey McPaleface.

I have a hard time understanding: anything with numbers, God, the interminable career of Pat Sajak.

If I ever go back to school I’ll: be elected Homecoming Queen in a landslide, I’m sure.

You know I like you if: I tease you. Or do the Stingo voice. Lord.

Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferarro are: dead, dead, dead, alive. Um, right?

Take my advice, NEVER: do the Stingo voice.

My ideal breakfast is: crunchy bacon and scrambled eggs with cheese, pancakes, fruit. My usual breakfast is “nothing.”

A song I love, but do not have is: “Let’s Stay Together” by Al Green.

If you visit my hometown, I suggest: breakfast at Brockton Villa, overlooking La Jolla Cove. Scrumptious food, scrumptious view.

Why won’t anyone: buy me this???

If you spend the night at my house, DO: be prepared to sleep on the “balloon bed.” If it’s good enough for Piper, it’s good enough for you, Crackie.

I’d stop my wedding for: a cash refund to run off and elope instead.

The world could do without: Rosie O’Donnell and overrated Krispy Kreme donuts. She IS an overrated Krispy Kreme donut.

I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: nothing! I cannot embrace this notion under any circumstances. Horror.

My favorite blonde is: that little niece of mine.

Paperclips are more useful than: that liquid paper stuff that works ONCE — and then the applicator gets all dried up and stuck inside.

San Diego means: Saint James. Also, “We are a corrupt Spanish-speaking city with no money and no cops and no border enforcement. Bienvenido a las terroristas! (Welcome, terrorists!)”

And by the way: you can embrace laziness and complete the thought on your own blog or in the comments, if you like.