Because here’s where, first off, I ramble, and then, where I actually just throw out an excerpt from an email to a friend. This is not “O” for “Effort” material, just so’s you know.
(BTW, did you have O’s for Effort when you were in school? O meant Outstanding; S meant Satisfactory; and U meant U R Grounded.)
What am I talking about?? Oh, yeah ……
A friend of mine and I were emailing back and forth about a spiritual conference that she’d recently attended. I kinda tried to talk her out of it because I know the speaker personally, have been to her conferences, have seen audience members bark and roar and snort and, just generally, be jungle animals for Jesus. It’s insane. And useless. This woman — (let’s just call her Jane) — has a charismatic personality, a bigger-than-life type. She considers herself a modern-day prophet. She get “words from God” for people in the audience and then calls them up to what she calls “the mush pot” and gives them their word. You know, basically, a kind of Psychic Friends for Jesus. Minus Jesus, I think. Oh, and Dionne Warwick. I’m pretty sure I never saw her there. (Someday, I’ll tell the story of how I came to know Jane and share some of the words from God she gave me. They were just neato.)
Anyway …. who knows if this will make any sense at all, but here’s part of an email I dashed off to my friend yesterday, as part of our discussion of her night at the conference. I was a little, er, worked up.
(Anybody else feel this way?):
…… I have to confess that I so do not understand this whole “intercede for the nations” dealio she’s got going on. So we’re to pray for nations to come to God? Is that it? Do nations come to God or do individuals? I mean, Jesus comes into the heart of an individual, not the soul of a nation. At least I don’t believe that. I don’t see that borne out anywhere in scripture.
How can entire nations change until individual people do?
Jane’s been on this whole “governmental gathering of the troops” thing for years now. It creeps me out. I question it, but then, I question everything. (Not that this is news.) She’s big on things like “God is releasing a mighty sword; this is holy war; he’s releasing open heavens and visitations” — (Did she say that? I’ll bet she said that. Okay. You have to BUY ME LUNCH if she said that! Haha!) — and, seriously, WHAT does that even mean? The Sword of the Spirit is the Word of God. Does anyone anywhere talk about that anymore — about putting that in your heart and that being your sword? Or is it just passe now? I’m just sayin’ is all. Seems like more and more people want some supernatural ability that makes them feel important, sets them apart, gives them influence.
And what’s an open heaven? Are we seriously stupid enough to even WANT it opened? “Heeey, God! Open up your bling-y glory, babEEE, I want more! I CAN TAKE IT!!”
I’m sorry, but anyone who tells you they’ve had an “open heaven” experience and leaves out the part where they crapped their pants is not engaging in full disclosure.
I mean, if someone told me, “I had this open heaven experience and then …. I totally crapped my pants,” I just might believe them.
Just how tripped out do we want to be as Christians? Is faith so boring that we need to remake it as some kind of holy acid trip?
I dunno. Seems to me that God is close to the brokenhearted, the broken in spirit. That’s God’s measure, His economy. Not flash, but true substance; not show, but true depth. Those things cost, though.
I’m just sayin’ is all.
(Lemme know when you want to buy me that lunch — because I KNOW she said those things! Hahahaha!!)
*******
See? Lazy ….
Hey, this is not lazy! I mean, they’re your thoughts, your words. You’re invested in them.
I really like this: “Seems to me that God is close to the brokenhearted, the broken in spirit. That’s God’s measure, His economy. Not flash, but true substance; not show, but true depth.”
Thanks for sharing.
I’m sorry, but anyone who tells you they’ve had an “open heaven†experience and leaves out the part where they crapped their pants is not engaging in full disclosure.
Amen, girl.
I’m with Word Girl – that made me LOL!
This just totally makes me enraged. The very fact that God made you and loves you makes you special, but is that enough for some people?
Nooooooooo.
And the poor little ones who fall under their influence and get all worried b/c they don’t have all these experiences in their lives – you just want to slap the perpetrators. Not very Christian, but so what?
Pride truly is the biggest sin. And comes with the biggest fall, so they better watch themselves.
FWIW, Christian spiritual masters down through the centuries have been unanimous in smacking anyone who’s actively looking for ‘signs and wonders’ in their lives upside the head with a big ol’ cluebat.
Usually b/c they know from personal experience that that is NOT something you mess around with lightly.
Can we have the backstory on your dealings with this gal, please? Sometime when you get a chance.
//“I had this open heaven experience and then …. I totally crapped my pants,â€//
Tracey. I can’t stop laughing.
Missy — Thanks. I still feel like I was cheating, somehow. 😉
WG — I’m just sayin’ is all.
Sal — Uh, yeah, backstory with her. That goes on the list, too. Bleh.
red — See? I’d believe that. That has the ring of truth. hahahaha!
Think of your own drama experiences, Tracey: is there any experience better than holding an audience enraptured? (Well, yeah, there are a few, but yours is a “family blog.”) Christian people can also get detoured into that “will to power,” if they are given the gift of being able to do so and choose to misuse it under the guise of serving the Master, when they are really trying to make THEMSELVES the objects of veneration.
I love it when you get on your charismatic soapbox. I can see the bubbles from here.
I’m with ya, BELIEVE me.
I dunno about lazy, this is right on the cutting edge. “Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” Note it’s not “Warm Fuzzies are the beginning of wisdom.”
I don’t think it was lazy either. I couldn’t agree more with your point of view, the pants crappin’ included.
If that’s “lazy,” it puts my “industrious” all to shame.
that was a beautiful piece (well, except for the crapping-the-pants part, but yeah, that’s true too – I daresay that if any of the “holiness salespeople” had a true God experience, they’d wind up doing even more than crapping their pants).
In that piece you voiced a lot of the concerns I have with what I call “Christian motivational speakers.” It’s good to know that I’m not the only one who feels the way I do.