I write about Piper a lot, I know. Mostly, I write these down so I will remember, but also because I want to be able to give them to Piper one day so she will remember. So indulge me. Here’s another one.
My phone conversation with her the Monday after Easter:
Piper: Tee Tee! I got money in my Easter eggs and I want to buy a toy katar from Toys R Us but I used up my Toys R Us card! I can’t use it anymore!
Me: Well, you said you got some money in your Easter eggs?
Piper: Ye-ah.
(She really says yee-ah. You try it. Just say it fast: yeeah. Well, okay. It’s true. She sounds a bit like some ol’ hickory-smoked farmer surveying the lower 40.)
Me: And you want to buy a toy katar?
Piper: Ye-ah.
Me: Do you know you can use your money at Toys R Us? If you have enough money, you can give it to them for the toy katar. They take money there.
Piper: Reawwy??
Me: Ye-ah.
Piper: Tee Tee, that is the gweatest news!
Phone conversation with Piper today:
Piper: I hab more great news, Tee Tee! I’m so escited!!
(May I just say that saying you’re so escited sounds so much more exciting than saying you’re “so excited”? Try that one, too. So escited. Nice, isn’t it? So from now on, let’s all just agree to be so escited whenever we’re the least bit tempted merely to be “so excited,” ‘kay? And don’t pretend you didn’t understand me. It made perfect sense. It did.)
Me: What is it??
Piper: I lost another toof.
Me: Wow!!
Piper: I KNOW! AND THE TOOF FAIRY BROUGHT ME MONEY! WANNA HEAR IT?
Me: Of course.
Faint rattling of coins.
Piper: Hear dat?
Me: Yeah, that’s great!
Piper: I know! And know what ewse?
Me: What?
Piper: I got my toy katar!!
Me: You DID?? Wow, Peeps!!
Piper: Ye-ah. And know what ewse?? GEOFFREY THE GIWAFFE IS GONNA CALL ME ON MY BIRFDAY!!!
Me: Really?! That’s AMAZING!!
This, people, is the only thing worth knowing or caring about when you’re 5. Her birthday is 6 months away, but nevertheless, GEOFFREY THE FREAKIN’ GIWAFFE IS GONNA CALL HER ON HER BIRFDAY!!!!
So your birthday’s coming up, is it? Maybe you’ll have some chocolate cake with Betty Crocker frosting in a tub, maybe some low-carb ice cream so you don’t feel like such a fat loaf, maybe you’ll get an Isaac Mizrahi sweater from Target or a baked salmon dinner at Applebee’s.
But is GEOFFREY THE FREAKIN’ GIRAFFE GONNA CALL YOU??
Huh. You wish.
Around my house, if you could get Chuck E. Cheese on the phone you’d be a god.
Geoffrey called here the other week and I accidentally hung up on him. No, I just lied. Not acciddentally. I meant to hang up I just did not realize it was Geoffrey at the moment. I don’t like to talk to telephone soliciators or survey people or whatever they are, so if my phone has the funny little ring or if the caller I.D. says “unknown caller” I either don’t answer or just answer and hang up. Soooo, I hung up right as I heard his goofy voice, and yes it was one of my son’s birthday that day. I guess I should have been anticipating his special call. Oh well. I did not mention this to my Woo. I don’t think he would have cared though. He’s 6 now and so over Geoffrey.
O.K I’m done. That was a long comment. Sorry.
Sorry, have to.
OK, Rachel, first off: too funny that you hung up on the Giwaffe. Only slightly less funny than the fact that your son seems to be just as much a curmudgeon as you. He’s 6 now and so over Geoffrey HAAAAAAH! That just kills me.
But yes, if Dora the Explorer called my niece… Holy… Pandemoneum (sp? I’m still tired) only second to the Divine Appearance would ensue. Well, the Divine Appearance of Elmo, but hey, she’s 2 & 1/2.
WG — Yes, Piper is WAY into Dora, too! She’d be WAY into anyone calling her on her birthday. Heck, she was WAY into her crazy aunt calling her as Santa two Christmases ago!!
Rachel — I’m with WG. “He’s 6 now and so over Geoffrey” — hahahaha!
Cullen — Chuck E. Cheese. Oh, shivers!!
Remember when my g-daughter announced that her REAL parents, Spiderman and M.J., would be arriving soon to get her?
Phhhhtttttt!
It’s all about Shark Boy and Lava Girl now. Fickle Finger of Fate and all that…
Rachel- that is the funniest ever! “I don’t wanna grow up, I’m a Toys-R-” CLICK!
How Piper will treasure all these in about 25 years.
Tracey,
Please tell Piper that Her cyber-auntie sherril, was very very escited to learn that Geoffrey will be calling her and how lucky she is cause our Toys R’ Us just closed and I have no idea where that Geoffrey Giraffe will live now. Oh, and one more thing. Tell her that I saw Geoffrey at the Toys R’ Us in Omer, Israel, a suburb of Beersheva, when I was there a few weeks ag.
Sherril