AI-yi-yi

AI does Queen. I’m very, very ….. concerned. Yes, concerned.

Well, nothin’ I can do about it. Here we go.

Hm…. Bucky is not really feelin’ the Fat-Bottomed Girls. He looks vaguely embarrassed to me, as if he’s thinking Hee hee …. I just said fat bottom. He doesn’t seem a real FAN of the Fat-Bottomed Girls, which I believe one truly needs to be to sing “Fat-Bottomed Girls, you make the rockin’ world go ’round.” I mean, just a thought.

Oh. You know which Fat-Bottomed Girl DID make the rockin’ world go ’round? MANDISA.

Ace (*KA-POWW*!): “We Will Rock You.” Sighhhh. You know that permanent scar baby-face Ace has? I’m pretty sure I now have one, too. On my eardrums. And …. um …. what was that let-me-walk-my-voice-down-the-stairs moment?? The bottom just fell out right there. Guess it was NOT a fat bottom — which is something he coulda used to cushion that spanking he got from the judges. (Simon: It was We Will Rock You Gently. Hahaha.)

Kellie: “Bohemian Rhapsody.” Aggghhh! The lighting on her!!! Sweet Moses!! You know, I once worked in a funeral home and, lemme tell ya, I’ve seen that face before. Blimey. All I can say is “Nothing really matters to meeeeee ……” And Simon’s comment is quite beyond her understanding so he has to simplify: “Okay, it worked.”

Chris: “Innuendo.” I didn’t like the song, but he sounded great. ‘Nuf said. Oh, wait. Not ‘nuf. May I say this? His voice could possibly get a bit wearing after a while. His vibrato-o-o-o-o-o is very wi-i-i-i-i-i-de. NOW ‘s ‘nuf.

Katherine: She loves herself, you know. “Who Wants to Live Forever.” Oh, my. She’s having a Celine Dion moment. And I. don’t. like. Celine Dion. I’m sorry. There’s just something about her. You know how we all have foods that we think we’re supposed to like, but we don’t, we JUST DON’T? No matter how hard you TRY to like that food, you just can’t? She’s that. And for me, it’s cheesecake. She’s my personal cheesecake. I feel I’m supposed to like it, people are surprised when I say I don’t like it because they LOOOVE it, but, well, too bad. More cheesecake for them, I guess.

Elliott: “Somebody to Love.” I love this song. And I like Elliott. Bring it, baby!! Oh, dear. I like his voice, but he just doesn’t have it for this song. Again, with the non-connection. But it sorta works, I guess.

Taylor: “Crazy Little Thing Called Love.” What’s happening?? He missed the mic kick-down. WHAT are you DOING, Salt’n’Peppa Elvis?? WHAT’S with the tippy toe on the stairs?? You know, lately, he’s begun to make me verrry uncomfortable. I’m constantly worrying that he’ll throw out his back with his cra-a-a-a-zy, hunchy monkeyshines. Or worse, that he’ll split his pants, revealing smiley face boxers. Stuff like that makes me wanna cry. Randy and Paula like it, but, thank God, Simon says, “Taylor, ARE YOU DRUNK??”

Which gives me an idea: Next week, maybe I’ll watch and blog while drunk. And I don’t really drink, so that’d be somepin’, I’m tellin’ ya. One glass of wine, basically, and I’d be “hee hee ….. he just said fat bottom ….. hee hee …..”

You know, I may be onto something here. What if we all blogged AI drunk? Just a thought, really. (No, don’t start drinking NOW.)

And last …. Li’l Hattie McDaniel: “The Show Must Go On.” (Okay. I gotta admit, this is the least Hattie McDanielly she’s looked.) I don’t like this song. Or her outfit. And I could swear those are her old-timey stable wench boots from last week. Oh, bleah. Let’s just go with Simon’s comment: “I found it all a little weeahhd.”

Oh, I don’t know. I’m tired and cranky. So, yeah. It was all a little weeahhd.

Update: Cullen give his thoughts.