I will be posting the Maybe Church posts soon. I’m just trying to figure out the best way to present it. So much has happened, so much I haven’t shared with anyone.
But I wonder, too, if the whole sordid stupid tale is a little “inside baseball.†Not that you all wouldn’t understand it. There’s no problem on that front, I’m sure. The posts I’ve written — long ago now — were written to try to explain this place to the best of my ability, but it’s just byzantine. It’s so bizarre. You can grasp a point of information, but once you turn it all over in your mind, it only raises yet another question. Basically, the FOC is a huge retarded rabbit hole that seems to have no bottom. I’m giving fair warning that you’re going down that hole with me.
Here are two things you need to know before reading the rest of the story:
~ The definition of gossip/slander in the FOC is not the standard, universally understood definition. Now, they don’t have a hard and fast definition that they publish in a handbook or a membership agreement or anything like that. Oh no. It’s much more slippery and insidious than that. A person has to figure these things out for himself — or not. I figured it out when it bashed me upside the head, which I’m not sure actually fits the definition of “figuring it out for myself†but there it is.
My streamline of their unspoken definition of gossip/slander is this: Gossip is anything we (the FOC) disagree with, don’t like, or anything that doesn’t show our organization in the best possible light. Gossip can be anonymous with no names named. However, if we name names, it is not gossip.
So, pippa. Cement that definition in your brain. It’s accurate. It will help you as you read along and discover what a horrible gossip I was/am.
~ Second thing about the FOC that I figured out when it bashed me upside the head: Women are second-class citizens. Married women and married men are not to speak to each other unless they’re married to each other. You’re basically having sex with that person if you do so. Do not interact with anyone of the opposite sex not your spouse.
This will also be helpful for you to remember as my extreme whoredom will soon come to light.
Okay. So. Fun stuff.
The onslaught starts soon, Crackie!
Dang it, I’m a slutty whore man, guilty as charged. According to their rules I’ve probably had sex with more women than Wilt Chamberlain. I talk to married women who are not my wife countless times a day. I feel dirty now – leaving to shower with a Brillo Pad.
Brian — You disgust me. Slutty whore man. I would say you’re defiling my blog but I’ve already done that.
I still need to try to infiltrate. I’m too busy now obsessing on Elvis, but I haven’t forgotten. I still have the church schedule bookmarked in my area. Why do I keep having the need to infiltrate closed organizations?
I, for one, can’t wait to read your take on the whole thing. I mean, I know some of your take, but I am eager to hear what you have to say, all laid out. The entire thing is fascinating (and upsetting).
sheila — I would love love LOVE for you to infiltrate. Better yet, I would love to infiltrate WITH you some day. We’d have a blast! Maybe next time you’re in LA, we need to check out the OC location …….
Yes!! I just HAVE to check out the vibe.
I think, re- whether some of the intricacies of the situation are too convoluted for an outsider to follow, that just putting it out there in all its convoluted glory might be the way to go. Sometimes just trying to follow those layers within layers makes for compelling reading in its own right.
Just putting that out there. If that’s not a useful idea, forget it.
I’ve been afraid lately of having my blog become known within my real-life community in various disastrous-to-my-inner-peace ways. It’s given me new appreciation for what you’ve been dealing with.
I think, in my case, I might be making something out of nothing. But whatever. I’m still angry on your behalf.
Take care…
Married women and married men are not to speak to each other unless they’re married to each other. You’re basically having sex with that person if you do so. Do not interact with anyone of the opposite sex not your spouse.
Day-um, by those lights I have sexual orgies on a daily basis at work. Don’t tell my husband, okay?
I think I’d last about 30 seconds at Maybe Church.
Wow. So me taking 2 classes over at the Catholic seminary in town, where I thrice-weekly interact with dozens of men who are basically married to Jesus, is ultra-bad, then, right?
Maybe all my slutty interactions are interfering with my ability to understand those weird definitions of “gossip.” Gee whiz.
RT, Katie, Kate P — Hooooooooors!!! Everyone on my blog is a hooooooooooooooor!
I’d reply, but that would be adultery.