It’s been 2 weeks at Joe’s now. It is, truly, a parade of kooks and malcontents. Allow me to present some random scenes.
SCENE 1:
Um …. I hate to say this, but in order to get the right tone of the man’s voice here, you must imagine a — God forgive me — uhh — okay. He sounds like Jack from “Will and Grace.”
Man (demanding): Are you new here?
Me: Yes, I am.
Man (sniffily): Oh. I just HATE new people.
Me (looking at him, he’s “new” to me): Me, too!
Man: NO. I mean, they seriously FREAK ME OUT!
Me (he’s so bizarre, I just play with him): I’M FREAKING MYSELF OUT!
There is …….. a pause.
Man: I don’t …. know what to say.
Me: I know what. If it makes you feel less freaked out, I won’t talk to you when you come into the store. How about that?
Man (horrified) : NO! Don’t do that! That will FREAK ME OUT EVEN MORE!
Me: Okay. Well, how about the opposite? (extending my hand to him)
Hi. I’m Tracey.
(And I’m going to hell.)
Man (extending his hand – in slow motion, unsure): I’m ….. Tom.
Me (smiling): Nice to meet you, Tom! Now we’re not so new to each other anymore.
His mouth takes several seconds to spread into something like a smile. We are shaking hands. He doesn’t look at me directly. I just keep smiling.
He shuffles off.
Me: See you next time, Tom!
I’ve had enough, I want to know the address to your coffee HOUSE so I can enjoy you in person. (and then later, read how weird you think I am)
You just rock. Sounds like something I’ve *almost* done. I’ve come to the brink before, but not… quite… I do enjoy messing with people who say thoughtless things like that, though.
*Look at the ‘nads on T!*
how funny!
lauren has given me an idea – wouldn’t it be fun to “appear” in each other’s real lives without telling the person! to purposely provide hilarious bloggable encounters would be such a cool way to meet. watch out tracey! i might be coming your way!