There was a day called yesterday when I didn’t know what this was. (NSFW.)
I want to know just who poses for these photos on Wikipedia? First, the fellow apparently has a problem. He volunteers, one assumes, to share this problem with the world, but then he has to ….. uh, be proactive with himself…. in order to show the problem in its …. best light??
I’m sorry. It came up in something I’m editing and I didn’t know what it was and now I do and I’m ever so sorry to know, but not sorry enough not to share it with you.
I need my wubbie.
I think I know that guy.
Hahahahahaaaaaa!
(I’m laughing at Sheila, btw. Not at poor deformed weiner dude.)
(Um, why did it have to be, um, standing at attention? You can see hypospadias in the, um, flaccid state, too, you know.)
I haven’t scrolled through Wikipedia looking for genitalia photos – are there pictures of labias and anuses there as well? Can’t we have a diagram?
Okay, I took one for the team, and looked up “clitoris” on Wikipedia and yes, there is a photo. I am probably the last to know such things, but figured I would pass it on.
Aaaand that reminds me of a story.
I had a friend who used to work for an OB/GYN who did some “pro bono” gyno work at the health clinic of our local university. Apparently, there was a huge outbreak of gen1tal warts at the time and girls kept coming in to have them burnt off. The SAME girls. (Apparently, this dude had a harem. AND warts, but that goes without saying.)
The doctor was having a difficult time keeping track of who had had burnt what off where, so he had my friend call the local stamp-making place to have them make a STAMP of the exterior female, um, AREA so that he could keep track of which warts he’d burnt off and which ones were new ones. (SO. GROSS. Sorry.)
Anyhoo, she found a picture in a medical book, copied it, and FAXED it to the poor people at the stamp place. (Can you imagine? I cannot.) They did whatever it was they did and sent it back to her. She showed it to the doctor and he made her send it back. The reason?
It didn’t have enough pub1c hair.
Lisa – !!!!!!
That is insane!!! And really gross. How ’bout the stamp place people? “Hang on … Got another vagina coming in over the wire …”
The lack of pubic hair in that image on Wikipedia is annoying to me, although not surprising.
What makes it even more hilarious — or sad — HILARIOUSLY SAD is that this stamp company was (they’re out of business now) one of Little Rock’s oldest and most respected printing firms. They’d been open, like, 90-something years making stationery and notary stamps and business cards and stuff. In my mind, it was populated by white-haired men with ink-stained fingers, wearing visors and sleeve garters.
The THOUGHT of some little old man, sitting at his tilted table, with his magnifying glasses, carving a cooter from a piece of rubber, thinking “What in the hell has my life become?” Well, that’s just too much to bear.
// carving a cooter from a piece of rubber //
seriously, either it was hilarious or it was existentially awful. Maybe both.
I …. don’t even know what to say. I’m too busy crying with laughter.
But, seriously, Lisa makes a valid point. You can see the problem WITHOUT it being all worked up, you know? WHY???
Did the guy volunteer to fluff himself? So it would look better somehow? WHHHHYYEEEEE???
Also /I think I know that guy/.
Hahahahahahahahahaha.
And now the “carving cooter” image is seared on my brain.
That image of the clitoris looks like a plucked chicken.
Re: pub1c hair or the lack thereof:
In the words of my imaginary best friend, Tina Poehler: “What’s up with all the deforestation going on down there? YOU HAVE TO HAVE HAIR THERE! It’s a back-up system for underwear!”
AMY Poehler. Gaaaah. Sorry.
http://www.buzznet.com/www/search/videos/rant/4044089/amy-poehlers-britney-spears-rant/
They really sometimes have a mind-meld into the same being, Tina and Amy.
I love how people are now going to check out “clitoris” on Wikipedia. My work here is done.
“Seth, you had something to add?”
hahahaha
“There was a time when a lady’s garden was a big as a slice of New York pizza.”
Hahahahahahaha. I love her.
Can I tell you, ladies, that I really don’t want to hear any more about this dude’s deformed weiner correction surgery? It’s freaking me out. TMITMITMITMITMIIIIIIIII!!
Maybe that stamp place in Arkansas could take an imprint of it.
I just threw up a little in my mouth.
sheila — I think the little old stamper man could have a whole new business.
Brian — I was waiting for a guy to weigh in on this. Sorry to make you barf. IMAGINE MY PAAAAAINNN!! Dude has to get his whole area rearranged! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
I clicked on the link right as my son was walking up to me. I had to quickly find the red X!!! I was NOT expecting that! But now I’m curious.
That poor guy. It looks like somebody took a hatchet to his business. Sad. And I notice he has very little pubic hair. And it’s kind of wispy and altogether unattractive.
I know, I know. It isn’t nice to criticize people’s business. But those people shouldn’t put it on the internet!
I just checked out the clitoris picture. Um. I don’t like that. It makes me feel icky.
Cara — plucked chicken plucked chicken
Kathi — Oh, no! I’m sorry! “Uhm, mommy, what are you looking at?”
I’m a horrible blog friend.
I’m sorry, pippa, I have to yell because this whole thing has RUINED my day:
WHO VOLUNTEERS TO SHOW HIS BACKWARDS WEE HOLE ON THE INTERNET????
We’re sorry, but nightfly is unavailable at the moment. Please leave a message for his brain when it checks back into the office. Thank you.
*beep*
NF — Hahahahahahaha.
I know I shouldn’t be surprised at the stuff found on the internet, (and, I guess, in some ways it’s very good to have this stuff out there), but there are some things you just don’t want to see.
Rule 34, I guess.
Oh, and by way of reference, the BEST result one can hope for when Googling Rule 34 = http://xkcd.com/305/.
Cara — I wonder if the doctor said, “Dude, if you let me take a picture of your business, I’ll do the surgery for free.”
I don’t know. It’s the whole genesis of that photo that torments me.
Also, the Wikipedia entry for “penis” is truly frightening.
On the other hand, I suppose these vivid pictures serve a purpose. I mean, just in case someone is confused about their business or doesn’t know what all the accessories are, here are some photos for clarification. Wikipedia to the rescue.
Don’t know why we need photos of a stallion’s penis on the “penis” page, but at least it’s there for all those confused Web-surfing stallions:
“OHH! That’s what that is! It’s this thing called a penis!”
“I thought it was a trumpet!”
“I thought I was an aardvark!”
And, you know, how many stallions can actually SEE their business? Without the Internet, they might not even know what it looks like.
Thank God for Wikipedia.
I remember when you had to sneak and look up “penis” in the big table-top dictionary in the library at school. You had to fake-look-up “pensive.”
Maybe that’s why, in the 6th grade, I still thought babies came out of your belly-button.
Lisa — True story: My sister is a shrink. Years ago she had this young newlywed couple come to her for counseling about their sex life because it was …. unsatisfactory. In the course of the session, sister finds out — I kid you not — the husband was having sex with his wife’s bellybutton. My sister said, “I did not think I could continue to keep a straight face.”
She said they were SO earnest, SO concerned, SO disappointed. Like, THIS is what everyone is talking about? Who cares????
/You had to fake-look-up “pensive.†/ Hahahahahaha. Naughty Lisa.
This thread is killing me! Also killing me now? My eyes! Why why WHY did i look up the plucked chicken?! For me that was a worse experience than the cockeyed wang.
sarahk — I know. The threads around here have been off the rails lately. I love it.
The plucked chicken is so so disturbing. It’s the most depressed fancy place I’ve ever seen. I mean, it literally looks deflated to me. Can a fancy place be dehydrated?
I have concern for the plucked chicken’s overall health, is what’s going on here for me.
O.K., I have to know–because I’m too fraidy to try it myself–it’s a Wikipedia entry, right? Does everybody know about “Five Clicks to Jesus”? A couple of my 12th graders were playing it a few months ago and challenging me to find Wikipedia entries that they couldn’t click through to the Jesus entry.
Can you get from this page to the Jesus page with four or fewer click-throughs? I have to know!!!
My eyes! My EYES! Must wash them!
This should be a lesson learned about searching Wikipedia for medical information!
Yes, I definitely share your concern for the poor dehydrated plucked chicken.
I’m sleepy. Sitting at my desk. Taking a brief break from an actually-very-productive day to check in on Tracey. And if you could hear my brain it would go something like:
“Oh, gee, I’ve missed a few posts. I need to catch up.
Huh, what did Tracey not know…
::click::
wait, doesn’t NSFW mean…
AAAAAAAAAAHHH! PENIS!!!!! AHHHH!
closeitcloseitcloseit crapcrapcrap!”
You totally tried to warm me. 🙂
When I get home later this evening I will join in on the discussion. Until then, I think that the hyperventilating involved counts as my cardio for the day.
Also – Google image is insane! Yes, Sheila! You can find pics of most anything. I was trying to find a nice, tame, TOTALLY NORMAL photo of a cow for work a few years ago and found horribly bizarre images that I cannot describe on account of EW. Google Image freaks me out (or, rather, people freak me out and Google Image can tell you why).
Also, from now on I’m going to say “fancy place” – hahahahahahaha!
My favorite slang is “bits.”
What I cannot help but wonder (as someone who deals with photo licensing and such with some frequency) is do all of these people KNOW their photos are being used in this fashion? I mean I can’t help but picture this: A doctor gets a photo prior to a surgery for their records and then, 10 years later when the Wiki is invented, helpful Mister doctor decides to upload images of various conditions that he keeps on file… do we KNOW that some poor guy isn’t on teh interweb thinking, “That’s ME! I mean… MINE. I mean… how do i get that taken off teh interwebs? Would anyone believe me? Wait… do i want to tell anyone this? ummm….”
Maybe there’s this totally rational and normal way that photos of medical conditions are acquired and managed. But I’m guessing there’s a lot of room for oopsies.
Freud could have used that photo to cure penis envy in his patients.
I love “fancy place” as well. It is quite fancy! A boyfriend of mine referred to my “fancy place” as my “Si senor”, (with the little squiggly over the “n”, of course) which I thought was hilarious. I was wearing a mini skirt, sitting on the bus with him, and he grumbled grumpily, “That skirt is so short I can practically see your Si senor.”
Marisa — I had to doublecheck that NSFW was what I really wanted to say. I wasn’t sure because I’m completely out of touch on everything.
Yeah, I think I coined “fancy place” during a particularly interesting thread at Cara’s blog, as I recall.
Brian — Hahahahahahaha.
sheila — “That skirt is so short I can practically see your Si senor.â€
Hahahahaha. MB is now saying he wants to steal that one.
Feel free. It really was so good and so funny.
Ah, man…I admit it. I was curious. Why, oh why, did I click on that???? I will NOT look up those other words…I won’t, I just won’t…back in a minute…