“The rectum was negotiated without problem.”
DOCTOR: Rectum, we need to talk.
RECTUM: Oh, okay.
DOCTOR: Well, I think I need more money, you know, for what I have to do here.
RECTUM: Yeah, okay. I see your point. Well, whatever you want.
DOCTOR: Wow. That was easier than I thought it would be. Well, so …. great!
RECTUM: Look, I know how it is. I know I can be difficult sometimes.
DOCTOR: I gotta say, I never knew rectums were so self aware. Really. I’m impressed.
RECTUM: Well, thanks. I try. I have lots of down time to think, you know?
DOCTOR: Guess I never thought of that.
RECTUM: That’s all right. Just send a memo to my assistant with what you need and we’ll get it done, okay?
DOCTOR: Wow, Rectum. Thanks again.
RECTUM: You’re welcome. See you soon.
(And the hits I get from “rectum” will blow away the two dozen hits from Doc’s ringing endorsement of me. Woo hoo, rectums!)
The first image that popped into my head was rowing a boat across it or something. Yours is way more biz-savvy. Trump would like that.
RECTUM: You know, Doc, opinions are like me, everybody’s got one.
Kate P — Hahahahaha. I like yours better. It’s very Thar She Blows, Avast Ye Mateys and such. It’s almost epic, like Ahab and the whale.
And Trump would fire the rectum for caving too easily.
Cullen — Now, that’s a GRUMPY rectum. He would not be easily negotiated.
Tracey, I’m flattered to be confused with Nightfly! Now, if only I could come up with something as witty and brilliant as he would say … oh, poop! Can’t think of anything.
So… all your problems with online misunderstandings have been rectified? Congrats to you!! (I guess.)
I get a lot of hits for “used underwear” at my blog myself, but I was a bit disturbed by the “young schoolgirl undressing” one I got not too long ago.
Well, look at this! You are number two on google blog searches for “rectum.” You even beat out a post about a man trying to commit suicide with a zuchhini!! (And yes, it was a rectum-related post.)
Mrs C – apparently that guy isn’t well-versed with zucchini. All he had to do was try to eat it. 😛
Tracey – Thar She Blows is NOT what I want to think about regarding the rectum! Augh!
This thread is proving waaaaaay harder to negotiate.
Cullen/Nightfly — Sorry for the identity mixup. It’s the alcohol.
Mrs. C — “Used underwear”? Uhm, I have no words for that. Just ….. ew.
#2 on Google blog searches for “rectums”?? Other blogs are NOT talking about rectums? I mean, what’s wrong with everybody??
Well, my work here is done.
And suicide with a zucchini??? Not that I’m endorsing suicide, but dude’s not doing it right. I realize I say this from my limited understanding of the process as a still-living human being, but nonetheless. The only thing killed in that process will be the innocent zucchini. Can’t use it in a nice loaf bread after THAT.
It sounds like a memo from a police department, describing a strange hostage situation. “Call in the rectum negotiator.” “He knows how to negotiate a rectum.”
Those pesky rectums. Always misbehaving.
Mrs. C, I’m traumatized by your comment!
sheila — Hahahahahaha. I’m picutring Samuel L. Jackson as the rectum negotiator.
Snakes on a Plane? So what???
We’ve got pesky rectums!!
You know what the closest bone to the rectum is??…
That’s right, the coccyx! and so we’ve come full circle around the rectum…
Strangely enough, tracey isn’t even in the top 100 for Goggle blog seach for “coccyx”… stupid Google
DOCTOR: I have had it with these m’f’n negotiations of this m’f’n rectum!
***
DOCTOR: What’s my name? WHAT’S MY NAME!
RECTUM: Dr. John Shaft!!!
***
DOCTOR: Where is my super suit?
RECTUM: Why do you need it?
DOCTOR: Just tell me!
RECTUM: Oh, no…. you ain’t doing this!
DOCTOR: The public is in danger!
RECTUM: My negotiation is in danger!
DOCTOR: We are talking about the greater good!
RECTUM: I am the greatest good you ever gonna see!
***
DOCTOR: You may feel a slight sting. That’s pride messing with you. #$%! pride. Pride only hurts, it never helps. In the fifth, your ass goes down.
RECTUM: Seems appropriate.
Too funny, nf… you bastard. I tried to add on to the thread and like Cullen, I got nothin’.
I WILL note that you kinda cheated on the last quote, but it was too funny not to include.
Did anybody have the slightest idea where these comments would end up? Hahahahaha! Ohmygosh, I said “end up”! Hahahahaha!!!
Kate P — Oh, I did. I knew FULL well.
And I just sit back and let it happen.
It’s performance art and I can’t stop laughing.