I have this fun little book called “Uppity Women of the Renaissance.” I bought it on an utter whim a few years ago because I liked that title. I still do. Anyway, the book offers very brief, amusing histories of, well, uppity women of the Renaissance, well-known and not.
So I thought I’d start a regular series of these, putting these entries up intermittently. I have my favorites that I’ve read several times and it’s tempting to start with those, but instead, I think I’ll just close my eyes, open the book, and see who comes up. Ready? Here I go. Just wait a sec. I have no muzak, so hum “Muskrat Love” to yourselves or something.
Okay. Today’s Uppity Woman is …….
Anna of Austria!
Here’s the entry:
“The Better to Eat Chocolate With”
Every great family worth tabloid-bashing has had a curse and the Hapsburg girls and boys were no exception. The only dynasty to rule for twenty generations without ever having had an actual country, the Hapsburgs’ power began with a small dukedom in Austria and spread like crabgrass across Europe via marriage.
The original curse was pretty meager — something about a pregnant peasant girl and a randy Hapsburg teen. But the true family curse was The Lip (in point of fact, the entire jaw). Populations of good-sized cities could have taken shelter under a Hapsburg chin. Wobbly and red as cherry Jell-o, The Lip made many males of the family look positively moronic. So you can just imagine how Princess Anna of Austria and all the other Hapsburgs Annas, Marys, Elizabeths, and Christines felt when they looked in a mirror.
Among other thankless tasks, Anna married King Louis XIII, produced a Louie heir, and ran France as queen regent from 1643 to 1661. Spanish-born Anna brought new ideas to the French court. Naturally, they all tittered when she first lifted a cup of some dirty brown substance to those Austria-sized lips. But Anna persisted, jutting out a chin that would stun Jay Leno into silence. The drink she introduced — hot chocolate — eventually became the only beverage fit for the Beautiful People to quaff, once she got the hang of adding sugar to it. For ages, the drink was deemed to be an aphrodisiac in the bargain. Ole! for Queen of Chocolate Anna, who gave women of the world the serotonin-loaded solace they so desperately needed.
So here she is, Princess Anna, as painted by the great Peter Paul Rubens, whose portrait of his beautiful daughter graces this site. (Oh, I love Rubens!)
Hmmm … I don’t see a Jay Leno chin. It’s not a great chin sure; I mean, it has a twin, but Lenoesque? Well, maybe Rubens was being kind.
I also notice the distinct lack of a hot chocolate mustache.
Still, thank you, Anna of Austria, for the wondrous, warming goodness that is hot chocolate. How could you know that generations of faces after yours would light up at the sight and smell and taste of your delicious “dirty brown substance.” You really ought to try it with marshmallows or …. ahhhhhh …. a dollop of whipped creme! Er, uhm, if you can.
So, Princess Anna, I will drink some of this happy, creamy nectar THIS VERY EVENING and think of you!
Love this concept. Bravo.