Me:(anxious) What should we do? About lunch? What should we do??
He: I think we should go. You know, scare ’em straight.
Me: Oh.
**********
Sometimes the person you live with is naked.
He: Oh! I wasn’t expecting you there.
Me:(looking him up and down drily) I live here.
**********
And sometimes my sense of humor is truly sick.
At a stoplight, the car in front of us has a smiley face bumper sticker that says “Smile! God Loves You!” The trunk is popped open completely just above this smiley bumper sticker — the kind of bumper sticker we both can’t stand. Because there’s Christian culture and Christian products and they have virtually nothing to do with Jesus.
Me: Hey, wouldn’t it be funny if there was a dead body in there? Right above that bumper sticker?
He:(incredulous pause before he explodes) Hahahahahahahahaha.
Me: “But I read him the Four Spiritual Laws before I clubbed him with the bat.”
He: “That’s right. He accepted Jesus. Didn’t even have to twist his arm.”
Me: “And, you know, he’s with Jesus now. So murder was the right thing in this situation.”
He: Yes. Murder as an evangelistic tool.
Me: Hahahahaha.
He: Hahahahaha.
Me: I fear for us.
LOL, Y’all could have written Caddyshack:
Judge Smails: “I’ve sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn’t want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.”
I don’t fear for y’all. I fear for others.
sarahk — Yes, that’s probably more appropriate, given what we were talking about.
Looked him up AND down, did you? 🙂
Thanks for the laugh. I think you are hilarious. It is so sad that you have to explain this to those would be drive by e-mailers who take things (and themselves) far too seriously. Some folks just have no flair for frivolity.
Rob — Oh, yes. Up AND down, of course.
MM — Thank you. I just had this weird feeling that someone might get offended … just never know.