I’m working on a very angst-ridden post about my waning days in Seattle and a certain fellow I dated who helped spur my fateful decision to move away.
It’s all very serious and heartbreaking and not silly at all.
Also, I’m working on a post about the falling-in-love moment. The moment when you KNOW: it’s happened. It’s done. Something my sister and I were talking about a while ago that inspired this post in progress.
You know, just a coupla withered crones sittin’ around talkin’ about when people used to love us.
I told MB I was writing this post and he basically shrugged.
So now I am definitely writing it. Not in a vengeful way, of course — no, never — but in a VENGEFUL way. You know, just to be clear.
Look. The man doesn’t have a jealous bone in his body and it is a HUGE HUGE HIDEOUS flaw. I don’t think he could even list the names of the men I’ve dated because, you see, in his mind — HAHA! He has trumped them all!! To him, the other guys mentioned in the post — not by name, of course — are basically Guy A, Guy B, etc. Forever anonymous. So what is there to know?
All right. Fine. Whatevs, Linus.
It’s okay. Later, I will suffocate him in his sleep.
Actually, I’m not sure the other guys would feel “trumped” at all; probably more like they escaped shrieking into the night with their lives and sanity barely intact.
But I’m not just writing it for, you know, VENGEFUL purposes alone, but because I will be interested to hear what it’s been like for the rest of you, that moment when you just KNEW …. you were in love. Toast.
I’m nosy, let’s not forget.
Okay. In all seriousness, I guess I’m writing this huge disclaimer before I even post the piece because I can almost feel a nasty email brewing out there in the ether. Some people may not understand. How could you write about that, etc. But look. MB knows and accepts that I write. He knows I had a life before him and accepts that I will sometimes write about it. People I knew before him, experiences I had before him, these are part of my life. They make up who I am. They impacted me, for good or bad; changed me for better or worse. And these falling-in-love moments I’ll be writing about taught me something about myself. About how my own heart works and responds. About the kind of person I needed in my life.
So I’m writing about it.
And dodging my inbox.