So I left the grocery store with my cart of stuff today. I wheeled it over to my car, unloaded, and took my cart back to the cart lineup …. because, yes, I’m just that good.
I don’t abandon my cart to take up a whole parking space.
I don’t give it a halfhearted push to the middle of nowhere.
I don’t leave it in lonely limbo between the spaces so some hapless shopper can ding her car door on it.
NO, people! I put it back where it belongs. Because of the goodness. That …. and, well, I’m a wee obsessive about it, too.
You see, in high school I worked at Price Club/now Costco, and I was one of those cart picker-uppers and all cart picker uppers HATED beyond reason those people who abandoned their carts in the nether regions of that enormous parking lot. These people were always bestowed special endearments by cart picker uppers. As I recall, most of them sounded suspiciously like “lazy motherf***er!” growled under sweaty breath in the 100 degree+ heat as the cart picker upper hiked a long, sullen hike to retrieve the lost cart.
So, you see, as a sign of longstanding solidarity with generations of embittered cart picker uppers, I always, always take my cart back.
And I did it today, too. Pushed it in there real nice like. Then from the end of the cart lineup, I heard a thick, Slavic accent bark, “Be careful!”
Startled, I walked towards the voice. There, around the corner from the carts, sat an old, wrinkled, gumdrop of a woman. She scowled up at me from her perch. I was quite sure her face knew no other expression and the sight of me only made it worse.
“BE CAREFUL!” she growled again.
Now, look. I hadn’t shoved the carts THAT hard. And I certainly lacked the requisite skills to make the line of carts GO AROUND THE CORNER AND HIT OLD LADY GUMDROP, which apparently was her concern.
Still, I tried to be conciliatory.
“I’m sorry, ma’am.”
She did NOT like this.
“Sorry?! NO SORRY!”
“Well, I am. I didn’t hit you or any of your belongings, did I?”
Of course, I didn’t. In response, Old Lady Gumdrop “hmmphed” and folded her arms more tightly across her huge, gumdrop chest. I shuddered as I watched her breasts curve slowly over them.
“No. Sorry.” She spat them out as separate sentences.
“I don’t know what else to say, ma’am. I’m sorry you’re upset.”
“NOOO!! WHY YOU SAY SORRY?! WHY?!?”
Good question, Gummy. I was now ….. annoyed. I narrowed my eyes at her.
“You know, ma’am, you should accept an apology when one is offered. They don’t come around that often.”
She heaved herself up. Her breasts stayed down. Old Lady Gumdrop waddled off away from me, the whole time angrily muttering, “No. No. NO. NOO.”
I sighed.
And … I admit it.
I gave those carts an extra shove as I walked away.
I was a cashier in high school and baggers (generally lax teenage boys) were without fail toking up in the bathroom or playing jockey with the push mop every time we hit a rush. So if there’s no bagger at the megamart, I bag it myself. I usually do a better job anyway, and it gives the cashier some relief.
But the megamart labor policy has changed. Used to, we would get fired if a customer had to bag their own groceries. Nowadays no one bats an eye — not even the Customer Service Manager. Man, I’m old.
You never fail to make me laugh like a drooling idiot, run smack into people I didn’t know existed and say what I wish I could say to rude old ladies. Congrats, Pea, for living your life bravely. I’m only a wee bit jealous. 😉
WG said it well. How do you do it? I’ve never been a cart picker upper, but I always put my cart back. It’s just plain lazy and selfish not to. I don’t know how many times I’ve had to remove a cart from the middle of a parking spot just to park while every other lazy dude is driving around in circles trying to get one spot closer. Argh.
Now if you were really good, you’d bring a cart out of the parking lot and into the store to do your shopping — usually one left abandoned by one of those lazy folks you mentioned… 😉
T – it appears that many humans most in need of recalibration lurk in retail store parking lots. I’ve had so many delightful encounters with them – especially at Costco. It’s a mad, mad, mad world. I usually want to ask the “offended” person when they stopped taking their meds….but I don’t…cuz I’m not s’posed to be thinking things like that.
Anita — I and my fellow cart picker uppers thank you!
I, too, always put my carts back. Once when I was doing so, an elderly man came up to compliment me on my good citizenship, but then he went into a little rant about how the Mexicans never put their carts back and are ruining the country etc., so that kinda took the bloom off the rose…
Okay – I’ve got a holiday question to ask, if Tracey will permit:
What is one thing that your family, either present or of origin, does that you’ve never heard of any other family doing?
For example: my husband’s family would give gifts ostensibly from someone outside the family, so that it wasn’t all from “Mom and Dad”. These could include practically anyone – fictional characters, historical figures, present day famous persons, deceased pets…
This could have a hint as to what the present was or not: a Cowboys jersey might come from “Tom Landry”. Or like this year, when middle daughter is getting “The Chronicles of Narnia” from “The Inklings”. I’ve gotten a lot of cookware from “Julia Child” over the years.
So, what’s your unique holiday habit?
Nothing — we’re terribly white bread (though I could quote you some fabulous drunken phonecalls from my mother via the hottub — yes, I said FROM my mother). I WISH we would have thought of that. That’s AWESOME! Can I steal it to use now?
Sal — Okay. First, the whole old man thing had me laughing so hard …. which makes me cough, so stop that!!
Second, I’m stealing that question and putting it up in an “official” post, if you don’t mind. I was just working on the Christmas Question of the Day … and there you were!
Hooray! Making my job easy. I love that!!