“The Bachelorette.”
I watch it and I hate myself.
Quite honestly, I want to fling myself off a bridge every Monday night now. But after “The Bachelorette” is over. I blame it on my sister-in-law because she expects me to be up-to-date on these things so we can discuss, you know, the deep issues the show brings to light.
Like the f-o-o-t fetish.
Yup. Dude on the show has a major f-o-o-t fetish and he’s been FREAKING me out for three weeks now. That’s all he can talk about.
“I need to see her feet.”
Uh-oh.
“I can’t decide how I feel about her until I see her feet.”
Seriously?
“If her feet aren’t cute, I’m outta here. I can’t go on.”
Drama queen.
“Ohhhhhh … those are some niiiiiice feet.”
I feel icky.
“I need to touch those feet. I gotta GET with those feet.”
Uhm …. I’m confused.
“Those feet are like a 9.5 out of 10. Change the polish to a nice mango, and it’s a 10.”
Oh, okay. I’m less confused now. “A nice mango”? You’re gay.
But thank the blessed baby Jesus, F-o-o-t Fetish Dude got dumped last night and I really think he was more disappointed about losing her feet than losing her.
Although here I am, judging F-o-o-t Fetish Dude while I’m watching it all, so I’m pretty sure this makes me some kind of accomplice to a f-o-o-t fetish and means I need to rethink, well, everything basically.
Please forgive me for watching this show, talking about f-o-o-t fetishes, and for this entire post. I don’t feel good about any of it. I really don’t.
(Dashes in the word “foot” added thanks to Cullen’s comment. Don’t really want f-o-o-t fetish Googlers showing up here. Thanks for having my back, Cullen.)
Oh, yikes. He really said, “a nice mango”? Yikes, I repeat. I’m pretty sure the weekly reality-show-skewer “The Soup” warned us viewers about FFD from the first episode. This week’s Soup probably is going to be celebrating his departure. If they don’t spend too much time on a certain other couple with lots of kids who had a “big announcement.”
“A nice mango.” Yes. It was all very eww-y and disturbing.
“The Soup” must be something on cable? I assume? Again, we live in the 19th century and do not have cable. I don’t even know what couple you’re talking about.
Please enlighten.
I’m ignernt.
You realize what kind of search results your blog’s going turn up in now, right? 😉
Oh, no. You’re right. Have to put in some asterisks or something.
Tracey – The Soup is perfect! We are sad because we were teased by the cable company and had the E! channel for a while but now they think our $8.95/month should not afford us the joy of Joel McHale’s quirkiness and wit. All I’ve ever known about the “Bachelor/Bachelorette” series I learned from The Soup. You can see clips on their website.
Hope Cullen’s advice works. Heck, you get enough hits from the carney sideshow as it is.
We used to watch The Soup and Best Week Ever every week. But Joel McHale’s Olbermann worship got really annoying, and eventually we just stopped watching. Best Week Ever changed formats, and it got much less funny, so we don’t watch that one either.
But I am more hip because of the Soup. I know who Kendra is and everything.
I am more hip because my ignorance is precious.
Who is Kendra?
I sold shoes years ago….some very disturbed people out there. Like the guy who wore ballerina flats (with the bow).
Lynne — Oh, dear. Sounds like he’d live in my neighborhood.